deepundergroundpoetry.com
International Incident Causing Limericks
(1) USA
An American redneck called bill
was looking for something to kill
the trigger it clicked
he blew off his dick
and bled to death on the hill
(2) Japan
A Japanese woman called wang
who farted a lot when she sang
She farted in tune
like a classic bassoon
and the concert went with a bang
(3) Pakistan
Pakistani shopkeeper form Poole
thought his shop boring, uncool
he thought of the answer
and hired a pole dancer
with buyers his shop is now full
(4) China
a Kung Fu expert named Ping
of kung Fu he thought he was king
my shotgun in place
I blew off his face
he died without taking a swing
(5) France
a French chef, Jean Luc Picard
who's menu was so avant-garde
chicken nuggets and chips
with custard in strips
making customer's arteries go hard
(6) Italy
Italian farm girl Leoni
wanted to fuck Berlusconi
she knew he was old
and smelling like mould
he was also hung like a pony
(7) Spain
an Spanish waiter named Frank
in the soup he was known to wank
the thing that was freaky
the soup's cock-a-leekie
no wonder the soup always stank
An American redneck called bill
was looking for something to kill
the trigger it clicked
he blew off his dick
and bled to death on the hill
(2) Japan
A Japanese woman called wang
who farted a lot when she sang
She farted in tune
like a classic bassoon
and the concert went with a bang
(3) Pakistan
Pakistani shopkeeper form Poole
thought his shop boring, uncool
he thought of the answer
and hired a pole dancer
with buyers his shop is now full
(4) China
a Kung Fu expert named Ping
of kung Fu he thought he was king
my shotgun in place
I blew off his face
he died without taking a swing
(5) France
a French chef, Jean Luc Picard
who's menu was so avant-garde
chicken nuggets and chips
with custard in strips
making customer's arteries go hard
(6) Italy
Italian farm girl Leoni
wanted to fuck Berlusconi
she knew he was old
and smelling like mould
he was also hung like a pony
(7) Spain
an Spanish waiter named Frank
in the soup he was known to wank
the thing that was freaky
the soup's cock-a-leekie
no wonder the soup always stank
Published 5th Aug 2018
Author's Note
Copyright © 2018 David Macleod All Rights Reserved. No part of this Poem may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of David Macleod. dtmacleod@easy.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Aug 2018 6:00am
Bravo, bravo, BRAVO!! #2 had my truly busting up! These are all so good. Have you considered compiling a collection of all of your short, humorous works?
9th Aug 2018 6:49am
Yeah I have thunk about that - talking to Barnes and Nobel again about limericks and nursery crimes - fingers crossed
Thank you, glad you enjoyed them :-)))))))))))))))
Thank you, glad you enjoyed them :-)))))))))))))))
5th Aug 2018 7:33am
In the case of the first poem, one is tempted to wonder 'poetic justice'? (When one considers mutiliating atrocities committed by some whites on black men such as runaway slaves.)
9th Aug 2018 7:01am
9th Aug 2018 8:40am
One of Alex Haley's slave ancestors (Roots) had has foot chopped off by white catchers who gave him the alternative of castrating him.
Anonymous
5th Aug 2018 9:59am
Lmao!! You're killing me... A million hugs and giggles :-)
...ever your Willow
...ever your Willow
9th Aug 2018 7:03am
always great to make you laugh and giggle - nice to know I still have that ability :-)))))))
Huge Massive Hugs :-)))))))))))))))))))))))
Huge Massive Hugs :-)))))))))))))))))))))))
5th Aug 2018 1:28pm
9th Aug 2018 7:04am
Yeah I'd pass on the soup too LOL
thank you for the read and comment - made me smile :-)))))
thank you for the read and comment - made me smile :-)))))
18th Aug 2018 7:47pm
1st Sep 2018 4:59am
always love to cause laughter, the world doesn't get enough of it :-((
thank you muchly :-))))
thank you muchly :-))))
