drug days

 
heroin days, coked out craziness
thirteen years on methadone
days I barely remember, years even lost
don't feel bad for me I did it to myself
hung myself from a hypodermic cross
a crucified junkie's martyr
dead inside my sin

the hardest drug to kick by far
was the methadone
when it left
it left a hole in me
so now I fill it with meth
the kiss of death
a tweaker's hell

as a heroin addict, I looked down on meth heads
really it's all the same
a way to feel the void in my soul
to patch the hurt part of my mind
that has scars of an angry child
who never grew up
because I spent all my years getting high
one way or another

I've always checked out when things got real
well my dad would say that's a crock of shit
fucking quit crying about doing a thing
and be about doing it
sigh

I can say honestly I'm making progress
I'm no longer in denial
thinking meth was the secret cure for bipolar
wow that's stinking thinking
just another excuse to do what I want
cos it feels good
pain doesn't feel good
but it's part of life

I can't go round numb not giving a fuck
because if I do I would have learned nothing
this whole bitch ride would be for naught