At The Bottom of The Ocean

A winter snowstorm might seem unbearable,  
But nothing is as bad as being at the bottom of the ocean.
 
At first I thought I was drowning.
My oxygen was gone, my heart felt cold
Losing it’s warmth as each second went by
 
Tick
Tock
Tickity
Tock
 
The water pours into my brain
And grabs onto my thoughts
Relinquishing them of all of their warmth.
Their passion.
The cold waves whisked away any sense of dignity and security I’ve ever felt.
The ocean left me empty.
 
People seem to always talk about “drowning demons”
But if you’ve been living underwater your entire life
There is no drowning them.
Your deep rooted issues and demoralizing demons
Have adapted to the icy, ruthless current.
 
It’s cold, to the point of numbing
It’s dark, to the point of loneliness
And I am alone.
The only sense of comfort I can find
Is in that vast amount of darkness
That chilling, unforgiving cold.
 
My lungs are screaming, trying to reach out
Grasping at any source of oxygen.
Trying to find some sense of clarity
Something to hold on to;
A reason.
 
Drowning might seem tragic
But nothing is worse than living at the bottom of the ocean and suffocating.
When the reality of it is
There isn’t even any water here.