deepundergroundpoetry.com

Save You

". . .How do I save you?
How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain, waits a darker world.
If I can't make you leave, how do I save you from. . ."

Stay away--

Oh my love so many years have gone by in which we both have wanted and pined for the other. But now that we can be together, I turn away from you and now you must see the otherside of my disorder. You must see the bitterness behind the loving heart you so fondly adore. You must see what I use to save for the evil villians in my life, and now I must allow this demon to creep out of the cracks in my mind and show it's ugly side to you my love. And because of this I beg you--

Please.

Please

Please.

Stay away--

For my heart cannot bear to hurt you, or offend you in anyway. I love you very much but I cannot allow you to be torn apart by a loving hand, even if that seems like a fate so sweet. I try to calm my disorder that I am cursed to live with but I cannot contain it inside and so I snap at you, or them-- Anyone that makes me want to rip their throat out because their voice annoys me today, this bipolar curse that will rip you open with your deepest secrets and most noticable insecurities. I cannot look into these brown eyes that I have grown to rather love so much, how do I look at you and send you away from me my love?

Just go--

And leave.

Leave.

Leave me alone--

It's no different than the first time my love-- Oh there I go again, a barbed tongue I doth hath do I now? How do I save you from the things I've been, we can't deny the past-- It's written on my face, scarred and battle wounds-- You don't realize that I am a soul already sold, into exile among the catacombs of the world-- And so please I say my love, the heart you hold in your hands is not that of pure gold, it's broken and old-- It's done, it's happy one minute and sad the next-- Now please I know it pains us both but I must force you to leave my torturous embrace.

Why won't you leave?

Why won't you go?

Why won't you let me save you?

Set you free?

Leave me alone?

Stay away from this venus flytrap that is me--

I must save you from the mess you're in, I know that I love you and so this is why I want you to leave me because I do not want to hurt you my dear. There is more to fear then the past, the villians, the darkness, the strangers in the night. I must leave and never look back, find someone who will love you and never turn or push you away-- Find someone that is not me.

I can't save you.

I can't set you free.

Behind the curtain waits a darker world.

I must make you leave.

So then I can save you from me.

But you're still here?

I am broken and I will never act the same again. Do you realize what mess you're in the moment you put this ring on my finger? Do you realize the things I've been known as and the things I've been through? You know I'm insane right? Why don't you care? Why do you love me? How can I save you when I am the thing you need to be saved from?

You know that feeling you get when you think there's one more stair when you're walking in a dark house at night, and so you take a bigger step and then there's that moment that your heart stops and you're falling through the air, where there is no gravity-- Just you, the air and the beating of your heart?
Ever felt that way.

That's how I felt when you kissed me and said you loved me-- Like there was nothing else but you and me in this world.
I love you, oh believe me I do-- But how do I get you out of something you don't want to get out of? How do I save you when you don't want to be saved?

". . .How do I save you?
How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain waits a darker world.
If I can't make you leave, how do I save you from. . .me?"