How do you Know

Watching his face
Shows his intent
But yet
That is not
What I am feeling
 
I am lost
In a sea of
Hopelessness
Drifting on the
Tides
Of lost dreams
 
Hoisting my sail
The breeze
Of loss
Eases my passage
As I glide
Aimlessly  
In neither direction
 
Solitude
Silence
Nothing but the
Echo of my
Heart beating
In sync with
The tide
The ebb
The flow
 
I lay my hand
Against the
Tranquil waters
And
Submerse  
My fingers  
The frigid spray
It clambers  
Up my arm and chest
Resting on my heart
 
I welcome
Detachment
As my eyes
Skim the skies above
Watchful for the
Moral compass
To show
Me the way
 
But yet choice
Is all mine
The unknown
Clashing against
My mind
As reality
Sets in
And I
Look back into
His eyes
 
Nothing
Emptiness  
In the vast space
Of my heart
I was made this way
A product of
Neglect  
And
Religion
 
Love witheld
So I know not
How to truly love
A connection
Between mind
And soul
Like hands
Slipping
Never gripping
Never holding on
 
Do not grieve
For me
Do not sit in
Unashamed
Melancholy  
For I am
Who I always
Have been
 
In the end
I have lived
 
The wonders
Of living
Have filled
My eyes
And they  
Are open wide
My heart beats
To rejoice in life
Just not
To
Love