My Penis 5.2 (A Prequel)

 
(i)
My penis
Is like
Woody
Woodpecker
I need somebody
To peck at my
Pecker head
To give me
Wood

(ii)
She said “Oh my!
Now that’s what you call a penis
It’s just so big, maybe even too big.”

She said “Can I touch it please let me
Touch it. Maybe I could stroke it gently
Moving up and down the shaft.”

She said. “Can I lick it, can I suck it.
I know you want me to, look how hard
It’s getting, you can cum in my mouth
If you want.”

She said. “I want you to fuck me with
That magnificent penis, just don’t put
It all in, it’s too big. You can do me in
The ass if you’d like.”

She said all these things
With very little prompting
Although I had spent the
Previous year training her
Some people might complain
That’s no way to train a parrot
But alls good, she speaks the
Lines I taught her for peanuts
And usually repeats the phrases
In the right order

(iii)
My head has
A hole in it
Or at least
The head
Of my penis
Does
I wouldn’t say
It was holy
But
It lets the
Evil escape
And given
It’s more powerful
Than my brain
It proves
I am
Open-Minded

(iv)
My penis is so big:
I have to use a circus tent as a condom
My penis is so big
Air traffic control use it for planes to circle
My penis is so big
Even Nellie the elephant couldn’t take it
My penis is so big
It could easily have somebody’s eye out
My penis is so big
Despite being a Scot, I can’t wear a kilt
My penis is so big
It took100 sheep’s wool to make a willie warmer
My penis is so big
When its erect the rest of me is anaemic

My penis is so small:
My hamster is not afraid of me
My penis is so small
Sometimes I loose it in the bush
My penis is so small
Maggots come up to compare sizes
My penis is so small
I use the pinkie tip of a rubber glove as a condom
My penis is so small
I got attacked by a crow looking for a worm
My penis is so small
I can only see it when it’s fully erect
My penis is so small
When I wear Lycra it looks like a vagina

(v)
Truth be told my penis
Simply is what it is; average
It can satisfy a woman and
Most men wouldn’t want it
Jammed hard up their ass