Losing Battle

I've lost, even when I thought I'd won
I told myself over and over I was done
But it wasn't meant to be easy
And I knew the relief only lasts briefly
 
I did the one thing I swore I wouldn't
Deep in my mind I knew I shouldn't
But the voice in my head kept insisting
That this would ease the pain of existing
 
I tried with every fiber of my soul
Not to fall back into that dark hole
But I find myself falling back where I was before
Deep down into the misery I held in my core
 
I have failed to win my own war
I have fought it for so long, but no more
The darkness and misery is where I belong
And forever I will sing it's morbid song