deepundergroundpoetry.com
Heaven Bound
Not all
Drug addicts
Go to hell;
This makes sure
That the queues
At hell’s pharmacies
Don’t get too long
Not all
Alcoholics
Go to hell
This makes
Happy hour
In hell’s pubs
Not so
Crowded
Not all
Bullies
Go to hell
This is
Because hell
Has a backlog
Waiting to
Be beaten
All
Paedophiles
Go to hell
This is
Because
Hell always
Needs more
Torture victims
Published 1st Jul 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 667
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jul 2017 8:09pm
David this is a slam dunk powerful..
you have a brilliant mind..
love you my friend..
hugs Brenda
you have a brilliant mind..
love you my friend..
hugs Brenda
2nd Jul 2017 9:52pm
I have a strange mind maybe (lol) thank you Brenda for brightening my day :-)
2nd Jul 2017 10:00am
Regarding the last verse, makes you wonder if that's what Jesus was hinting at when he said as to any who harm "these little ones, it would be better for him if a millstone were tied to him and he were thrown into the sea".
2nd Jul 2017 9:53pm
I am probably the wrong person to comment on that, but I admire your faith :-)
Anonymous
2nd Jul 2017 2:16pm
You know, I was nodding and agreeing all the way through "yup, yup, yup" and then that last stanza and it was like a little grenade of YES! went off in my mind. I like the way you think
2nd Jul 2017 9:54pm
you are too kind - I like the idea of a word grenade - can I use that? thank you very much :-)
Anonymous
2nd Jul 2017 7:53pm
David...I can only echo the others above me...the power in this write is substantial...hitting like a 10 on the richter...outstanding...
xoxo Taryn
xoxo Taryn
2nd Jul 2017 9:55pm
Mo Chara.....
The first three stanzas leave me appreciating your insight....and with a fair bit of those "hey-i've-never-thought-about-it-like-that" moments...even a few smiles, as well. While your entire poem is creatively compelling, your final stanza has the most impact.. delivers the unexpected, and powerful literary punch.
Impressive Ink!
The first three stanzas leave me appreciating your insight....and with a fair bit of those "hey-i've-never-thought-about-it-like-that" moments...even a few smiles, as well. While your entire poem is creatively compelling, your final stanza has the most impact.. delivers the unexpected, and powerful literary punch.
Impressive Ink!
2nd Jul 2017 9:57pm
I have to say that the first three stanzas were there to set up the punchline of the last stanza - so you are dead right about that I am glad you felt the power in the punch :-)
2nd Jul 2017 11:00pm
2nd Jul 2017 11:58pm
