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deepundergroundpoetry.com
FINAL CHAPTER {in spoken word}
FINAL CHAPTER
author's note
the stench of you…
is unmistakable…
certain times…still circle in my mind…
certain events, unfortunately…re-traceable
prologue:
did you write down the date…
you know, when you took over my fate…
did you write in your mental diary…
the moment you graduated from just touching me?
yes, I recall…
I mean, after all
I was on the menu…
the main course...
did you hold your head high…
knowing that I…
was a 6 year old you conquered by force?
Then, your sins all tucked away by Saturday night…
then, up you go in the Early Sunday morning light…
So polite in church …I could not believe…
you really had them all deceived…
a monster in plain sight…
you were a deacon there…
yeah, that’s right
chapter bastard:
tell me, did your hands feel the same… remember
when we played a different game…
on which verse did you reflect…
which hymn did you chant…
while choosing Vaseline…as the lubricant?
a dark cloud descended over all of my being…
if ever there were a soul worth freeing…
surely then, a child…
who has been so defiled…
can walk to you God, in glory…
God said,
“your road to Me, has already been paved…
you must first go tell your story…”
God gave me a gift, said Here “you are BLESSED…”
I unwrapped this…stunned to see…
a book titled: FORGIVENESS…
No, I mean, how could that possibly be?
how am I to forgive someone who so badly violated me?
this man took away my right to choose…
told me "no man will ever want you…
Your "goods" are “USED”
So, no, forgiveness is not the word…
it’s called abused!
I turned the page,
the next one said…
forgiveness unlocks the door…
to the memories that replay over and over in your head…
you have been handed the key…
by all means…
set yourself free…
I turned the page again…
And the nightmares DID end…
this chapter is just about finished…
Then, a new story can begin
But first, a personal word to the bastard, who was very proud in his sin..
a thief to me…
you will forever be…
you stole something priceless…
that can never be retrieved…
my trust…my innocence…
my virginity…
Why would I EVER forgive YOU?!
I wouldn't and I don't, so, instead, this is what I'll do...
I forgive MYSELF for the things I internalized
and carried through..
for wishing pain rain down upon you-and death because you have no further use…
I forgive MYSELF for all the shame I felt--caused by YOUR abuse.
What behind your eyes-allowed you to theorize…
having sex with a child was ok?
no Judge, no jury…no problem…
You see, my “gift giver” also announced YOUR judgment day!
your stench…is still- UNMISTAKABLE…
no longer your victim, but rather…
UNBREAKABLE…
Poetic justice achieved, survivor transcends...
you have no power over me...
THE END
author's note
the stench of you…
is unmistakable…
certain times…still circle in my mind…
certain events, unfortunately…re-traceable
prologue:
did you write down the date…
you know, when you took over my fate…
did you write in your mental diary…
the moment you graduated from just touching me?
yes, I recall…
I mean, after all
I was on the menu…
the main course...
did you hold your head high…
knowing that I…
was a 6 year old you conquered by force?
Then, your sins all tucked away by Saturday night…
then, up you go in the Early Sunday morning light…
So polite in church …I could not believe…
you really had them all deceived…
a monster in plain sight…
you were a deacon there…
yeah, that’s right
chapter bastard:
tell me, did your hands feel the same… remember
when we played a different game…
on which verse did you reflect…
which hymn did you chant…
while choosing Vaseline…as the lubricant?
a dark cloud descended over all of my being…
if ever there were a soul worth freeing…
surely then, a child…
who has been so defiled…
can walk to you God, in glory…
God said,
“your road to Me, has already been paved…
you must first go tell your story…”
God gave me a gift, said Here “you are BLESSED…”
I unwrapped this…stunned to see…
a book titled: FORGIVENESS…
No, I mean, how could that possibly be?
how am I to forgive someone who so badly violated me?
this man took away my right to choose…
told me "no man will ever want you…
Your "goods" are “USED”
So, no, forgiveness is not the word…
it’s called abused!
I turned the page,
the next one said…
forgiveness unlocks the door…
to the memories that replay over and over in your head…
you have been handed the key…
by all means…
set yourself free…
I turned the page again…
And the nightmares DID end…
this chapter is just about finished…
Then, a new story can begin
But first, a personal word to the bastard, who was very proud in his sin..
a thief to me…
you will forever be…
you stole something priceless…
that can never be retrieved…
my trust…my innocence…
my virginity…
Why would I EVER forgive YOU?!
I wouldn't and I don't, so, instead, this is what I'll do...
I forgive MYSELF for the things I internalized
and carried through..
for wishing pain rain down upon you-and death because you have no further use…
I forgive MYSELF for all the shame I felt--caused by YOUR abuse.
What behind your eyes-allowed you to theorize…
having sex with a child was ok?
no Judge, no jury…no problem…
You see, my “gift giver” also announced YOUR judgment day!
your stench…is still- UNMISTAKABLE…
no longer your victim, but rather…
UNBREAKABLE…
Poetic justice achieved, survivor transcends...
you have no power over me...
THE END
Published 31st Aug 2011
| Edited 22nd Aug 2021
Author's Note
This words of this poem were edited AFTER video was made and will be updated as soon as time permits.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
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The author encourages honest critique.
1st Sep 2011 2:01am
der r no words i no dat can describe
all da emotions ur words placed nside
not only my mind & my heart
but 2 my Soul at da least most traveled deepest part
wen a child is victimized n such a manner
da devils influence easily places itself on my banner
no thoughts of murder or putn da perpetrator 2 his death
ratha da anger conjuers thoughts of torture 2 dis deacon himself
how i wud Love 2 b left alone n a room wit jus da 2 of us
no knife no gun no bomb....jus da 2 of us
& no matta wut happens he wil neva leave
nor wud he die even doe he wud barely b able 2 breathe
but b4 i allow myself 2 further endulge my thoughts n such a way
i hav 2 stop myself...take a few breathes....Please Forgive me Father....i Pray
all da emotions ur words placed nside
not only my mind & my heart
but 2 my Soul at da least most traveled deepest part
wen a child is victimized n such a manner
da devils influence easily places itself on my banner
no thoughts of murder or putn da perpetrator 2 his death
ratha da anger conjuers thoughts of torture 2 dis deacon himself
how i wud Love 2 b left alone n a room wit jus da 2 of us
no knife no gun no bomb....jus da 2 of us
& no matta wut happens he wil neva leave
nor wud he die even doe he wud barely b able 2 breathe
but b4 i allow myself 2 further endulge my thoughts n such a way
i hav 2 stop myself...take a few breathes....Please Forgive me Father....i Pray
1st Sep 2011 7:57am
wow...again...you also take my breath away...thank you for that...and this one was alot more violent believe me...I edited it...but, again thank you, it's for those who can unfortunately relate...
1st Sep 2011 8:09am
but no 1 shud hav 2 b able 2 relate 2 such a heinous act....& i probly spelled dat rong 2....lmao
1st Sep 2011 8:22am
you are right...they shouldn't...it was hard to write...but cleansing for real...
and nah, you spelled it right...lol
and nah, you spelled it right...lol
29th Mar 2012 3:43pm
Unfortunately I can relate on more than one occasion this was writing profoundly indeed very deep and very sad
21st Dec 2013 12:14pm
Wow this get to the heart of loosing one innocence...violating one soul by a trusted so called person of god......story remarkably told subject matter true and to the point....sensational one for the books
