deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Love Once Lost
When we first met, you were the match that struck a fire in my veins.
You were the key to the lock on my heart that kept my love in chains.
You were the one to seek me out, like a guided missile aimed at me.
And I was like a candle flame, burning bright as I could be.
But when you left, I felt a pang of ice against my skin;
A cold that I have never felt, a cold that burrows deep within.
And you became the harshest winter, as the fire within began to die,
Extinguishing my flames and leaving smoke to fill my clear blue sky.
You put my heart in chains again and took away the only key.
Your missile finally reached its target, blowing me to smithereens.
Now the candle that once burned so brightly has finally been consumed,
I'm left alone to dwell inside my deeply darkened room.
You were the key to the lock on my heart that kept my love in chains.
You were the one to seek me out, like a guided missile aimed at me.
And I was like a candle flame, burning bright as I could be.
But when you left, I felt a pang of ice against my skin;
A cold that I have never felt, a cold that burrows deep within.
And you became the harshest winter, as the fire within began to die,
Extinguishing my flames and leaving smoke to fill my clear blue sky.
You put my heart in chains again and took away the only key.
Your missile finally reached its target, blowing me to smithereens.
Now the candle that once burned so brightly has finally been consumed,
I'm left alone to dwell inside my deeply darkened room.
Published 7th Jun 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 21
reading list entries 4
comments 25
reads 1625
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The author encourages honest critique.
7th Jun 2017 00:23am
The candle has been extinguished & you find yourself alone, cold & in the dark again. This is quite sad. Great use of metaphors here, helping explain the real pain you suffered when realising a love lost. Well written heartbreak poem. Welcome to DUP my friend. :-)
7th Jun 2017 00:38am
Thank you for the feedback and the warm welcome. It's a tough situation to deal with when someone you love walks out of your life. Without proper closure, many words were left unsaid, and poetry has helped me to better cope with my emotions and this situation. I wrote the first half of this in the beginning of the relationship, and was finally able to finish it after the 'break-up'. Although I didn't see the poem going in the direction it did, at least I have the rest of the story now...
Anonymous
7th Jun 2017 3:00am
This is cutting into me deeply...and reading your reply to Purpleheart causes these words to cut even deeper...I am so sorry you ever had to feel such anguish...an excellent piece of ink...Welcome to DUP...I look forward to reading more of your work.
xoxo Taryn
xoxo Taryn
7th Jun 2017 8:25am
7th Jun 2017 6:39am
7th Jun 2017 8:22am
Thank you for your comment, Dizzy. Feeling pretty cynical right now. I'm sorry...
6th Oct 2018 9:17am
6th Dec 2018 7:34am
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
30th Dec 2018 7:55am
<< post removed >>
30th Dec 2018 8:06am
31st Dec 2018 7:21pm
Beautifully sad and uplifting at the same moment one of those rare poems that can only be written once. Thank you for posting, such happens only once. Kexby
31st Dec 2018 7:43pm
8th Jan 2019 10:44pm
love it. 3 killer stanzas. nice rhyme, excellent feelings of unrequited love on display, and I really enjoyed the vocabulary & use of smithereens lol. I fell like you put some time and effort in this piece and it very much shows dedication and a soul slapped on page of a canvas. well penned, keep'em coming NewBeginnings.
20th Feb 2019 8:51pm
Samael, thanks for the great compliments. I put a lot of time in to this one. I'm so glad that your enjoyed it!
3rd Feb 2019 00:22am
3rd Feb 2019 1:25am
Thanks, Naajir!
I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this. I am glad you can feel the emotions that I was able to let out in this piece.
I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this. I am glad you can feel the emotions that I was able to let out in this piece.
12th Feb 2019 6:43am
One can see the candles diminishing till out ... Nice write ... Bless and love ...
12th Feb 2019 8:39pm
Thanks for the kind words, Fenyx. I don't get much feedback on these older poems anymore, so I really appreciate you stopping by to read it :)
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jun 2024 1:45am
28th Feb 2019 1:33am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 10:45am
14th Dec 2019 10:23pm
<< post removed >>
15th Apr 2020 5:04pm
I love this read... Wow it's a great write, Our minds had the same idea, that's amazing.
15th Apr 2020 5:06pm
Thank you, Aleck! I thought you might enjoy this after reading yours... it's pretty cool how similar our train of thought was - just in different places at different times.
Since this is my oldest poem, no one really scrolls all the way back to see it anymore, so I appreciate you showing it some well-needed attention :)
Since this is my oldest poem, no one really scrolls all the way back to see it anymore, so I appreciate you showing it some well-needed attention :)
15th Apr 2020 5:19pm
22nd Apr 2020 5:15pm
Wow NewB this is a beautifully poignant spill. Hauntingly sad 😔 . I love the flow and the rhyme of this poem. Feels like I'm singing a sad love song. 🌹🙏
This is very sad, I hope you have found someone else to unlock your beautiful heart again. I am finally reaching back to read some older ones and of course still find the same beautiful writing.
