Stirring a Memory

Some stir love when they're there leaving behind a frozen meal of memories..

Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. :-)

This is a lovely demonstration of nostalgic recollection in both word and essence, Papered One.

"Stirring a Memory

Standing over the stove
sauteeing this
simmering that"

I love the alliteration of 's' in this, as well as the play between stirring and simmering. It sets a methodical cadence of dreamy remembrance to the piece, like ironing.

"mostly from memory
but she keeps the notes nearby
her handwriting slow, careful
his less so
sometimes barely legible"

The rhyme play between careful and legible is solid, as well as the alliteration of the 'm' in the second half of the stanza.  Almost like a humming while you're stirring.

"He provided bits and pieces
adding emphasis
to what she'd written while watching him"

I think you could lose 'him' and it would still work. While 'em'phasis does flow into h'im', the alliteration of w w w is a melodic finish.  ( I only suggest this because I feel the verse is important to you. )

"It wasn't the only meal he made for them
but the one best-loved
because it took time and always came with stories
as he stirred"

You're a Mistress of alliteration and weave it through poetry like musical compositions.

"They played on her mind
like his sauce on her tongue"

Stirred / tongue  is excellent, especially with 'sometimes' and 'alone' of the next stanza. Here you bring memory alive and give it flavor through taste. Readers can relate through their own personal experience, whether it's their mother's/grandmother's/lovers favorite recipe.

"Sometimes she'd cry making it alone
never tasting quite the same
only close enough
to touch"

This is why bringing the memory to life with Taste was so important in the previous stanza; it physically demonstrates the impossibility through this stanza of recapturing it. It can never be what was; only created anew.  This is the very essence of nostalgia: yearning.

"This recipe preserved on paper years ago
was the only tangible gift
he'd given her"

Given something to aspire to.

In my family recipes are sacred. I have them through generations. To share one is considered an extreme gift, like the location of a treasure vault.

I really enjoyed reading this. The somber mood, the yearning for what was. We've all been there and you've captured it perfectly.

There's a vid you'd love. I'll see if I can find it.

Thank you for the read.  

You're right, I did love the video, and now I'm in tears. So, forgive me if the rest of this is a little blurry. :-)  

This was quite a comment and compliment. Thank you for taking the time to go through the details.   I've read through the section that you suggested losing "him" several times, testing it without the word and with it again. "Him" plays with "emphasis" but also with "written" and "them". In the way I speak, anyway. I like that, but I can also hear what you mean about the w-w-w alliteration. So, I've taken "him" out (that sounds so brutal) to let it sit and see how it feels.    

There are recipes that are part of my family, too. It's such a nice connection to have to people you've loved.    

Thanks again for the wonderful comment, the video, and for adding this to your reading list. I'm really quite touched by it all.

It was my pleasure. It reads much better and is clearly implied without "him"... Glad you enjoyed the video. 🎦😥

https://youtu.be/Mh69anIXeGE

it's kinda like that 'teach a man to fish' biblical fable;
it wasn't meant to, but it took me back to my Army service:
a soldier travels on his stomach...

That it took you anywhere is more important than any meant-to I may have had in the writing. Thank you. :-)

Big time Bonus Points for originality.

A big time thank you for the points and for putting this on your reading list. :-)

This was such a touching and emotional read. So much of human relationship revolves around food. Breaking bread, as it were, is one of the most powerful connective tissues in our experience, and sharing the process of making a meal can make it that much more...savory. I have read this several times now and it gets better each time. Thank you for the experience.

I couldn't agree more about the connections we make with each other through food.    

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this more than once, and for leaving such a wonderful comment. I can't think of a better compliment than that.    

I appreciate the reading list addition, as well. :-)

I had a visceral connection to this poem

I've always thought that the middle east conflicts could result in peace with a competition to see who made the best hummus.  After the bickering and Judith we over all nations could sit down together and eat and drink.  Comrades through food  .....

Excellent ink

Welcome

If food could work that kind of magic, hummus would be a great place to start. I make a pretty good hummus, I think. :-) Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to hear that you felt a connection to the poem.

Congratulations! This poem has been nominated for Deep Underground Poetry's Featured Poem of the Month Competition for July, '17. You may view the nomination at the link below, and will be notified if selected.  

https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9685/

Best of Luck and thank you for being a member of the Deep Side! Poet

Wow, it certainly 'stirred' a memory (n more) in me! Very touching, n quietly  powerful inking...

Thank you, Poetik. I'm pleased to hear that it stirred you, and I'm flattered by the reading list add.

I have such strong memories associated with food. This is such a moving piece. It reminds me of the way my grandmother cooked while my grandpa sat at their little table and read/gave her instructions. such a good memory.

well done. very well done.

I'm glad that the poem brings to mind that sweet memory. Thank you for sharing it with me. I appreciate the reading list add, too. Very pleased that you liked it so much.

Wow PS......I'm touched deeply by this stunning emotional ink......my heart sunk in the end......heart breaking beautiful.......purple luv & hugs xo :)

I'm pleased that this touched you so much. Thank you, that is such a great compliment to receive. :-)

Hey Stains.......I read this again........there are tears literally dripping upon your page........I have many precious gifted inks saved from a soul who will never realize how much his words and him truly meant to me........RL for me this time......wow......the emotion pa I feel thru my heart and soul right now is amazing........purple luv & hugs xo :)

More than anything, I'm touched that you returned to this to read it again. The add to your reading list is a lovely bonus. Thank you so much! I'm pleased that it resonates with you so personally.

i have read this over and over again dear, but every time i find
myself fanning ..searching for air,, this really messed me up,
stirred inside too deep

I don't quite know what to say here. I understand the feeling, and I am both deeply touched and somewhat apologetic that my words have found that place in you. Thank you, dear woman, for sharing with me.

I second Ahavati's brilliant comment here... This is a sweet and meaningful recollection, and it evoked some strong emotions in me. I feel like I can't say much more than has already been said here, but this was really touching, and overall, a fantastic poem ❤️🙏