deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Lonely Naiad
was it his love
that sprinkled the water
with fatal aphrodisiac
for her to leave her fins clipped
allowed to sink to deepest
water
was it his promise
that held her heart
within a fleshed body
magical wishes unfulfilled
to swim as fishes
deep in the green pool
was it his betrayal
that killed her devotion
that made her pine
for underwater kingdom
carefree within the depths
no hurtful words cutting her
she was bound to form
as bound to a promise
not naiad not human
trapped within aging flesh
yet her spirit within eternal
she longed for release
near the waterfall
she pondered on
the sacrifices for carnal love
a price to pay for a brief sojourn
in the arms of a man
she thought her own.
Photo: Glatinggam
Published 26th Mar 2017
| Edited 27th Mar 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 731
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Mar 2017 12:52pm
This for me felt...Parts mournful, parts sweet, beautiful, n dreamy...I guess I'd call this 'mournfully dreamy' :)
26th Mar 2017 1:47pm
A good brand...mournfully dreamy. I like that Poetik. Thank you so much for dropping by and reading. I appreciate you as always.
26th Mar 2017 5:25pm
Ah .. the eternal struggle of being in the world, but not of it. Enjoyed the read
26th Mar 2017 7:26pm
26th Mar 2017 6:08pm
I like what Poetikmind and Josh had to say about it. Has the mournful and mystical quality of a fairytale, while metaphorically telling a tale of love lost. Enjoyed this.
Hi Daniel thank you for reading, and for the kind comments. :) I often wonder about sacrifices because of love...The tale of the Mermaid for instance, giving up their true self for love and being betrayed in the end.
26th Mar 2017 10:00pm
This is a beautiful and thoughtful fantasy, Grace.
near the waterfall
she pondered on
the sacrifices for carnal love
a prize to pay for a brief sojourn
in the arms of a man
she thought her own.
The naiad would ideally be gifted with spiritual and emotional love as well. It's sad to think that the sojourn is so brief. Incidentally I think you mean "price" rather than "prize" in the stanza's fourth line, but I'm nitpicking. Excellent work!
near the waterfall
she pondered on
the sacrifices for carnal love
a prize to pay for a brief sojourn
in the arms of a man
she thought her own.
The naiad would ideally be gifted with spiritual and emotional love as well. It's sad to think that the sojourn is so brief. Incidentally I think you mean "price" rather than "prize" in the stanza's fourth line, but I'm nitpicking. Excellent work!
27th Mar 2017 00:24am
Hi Crowfly, thank you for reading and pointing that out. Yes it is sad that sacrifices at times gets abused by lovers, who will look at somebody else when their fire and beauty grow dim.
27th Mar 2017 4:44am
Freaking fantastic piece, Grace. Left me speechless. Talented write!
~anonshadow😏
~anonshadow😏
27th Mar 2017 5:43am
Anonymous
28th Mar 2017 1:30pm
My dear beautiful Grace, you are gracefully cherished.
28th Mar 2017 1:55pm
