deepundergroundpoetry.com
Conversation with S
One of the short stories I wrote during the time I worked with refugees.
When I have a moment of spare time I walk towards S to talk with him for a bit. S lives in The Netherlands as an illegal after his request for a residence permit was rejected. It’s impossible for him to return to his country, because without papers they don’t let him in. He asks me if I have brothers and sisters and when I tell him that’s not the case, he shakes my hand and tells me he's an only child as well. I ask him if he has contact with his parents. With tears in his eyes he tells me he doesn’t have parents and I see it’s best to not ask any further. I decide to change the subject, but at that moment he points at himself and at the ground and tries to explain me something. I don’t understand him and ask him to explain it again. After a few attempts he stands up, points at himself and says “me” then points backwards at the ceiling and says “sun” then points to the floor in front of him and asks “what’s that?” With some hesitation I say "shadow?" He seems relieved and says “yes, that’s what I mean” Then, after a short silence, he looks down and says “I’m just a shadow”
When I have a moment of spare time I walk towards S to talk with him for a bit. S lives in The Netherlands as an illegal after his request for a residence permit was rejected. It’s impossible for him to return to his country, because without papers they don’t let him in. He asks me if I have brothers and sisters and when I tell him that’s not the case, he shakes my hand and tells me he's an only child as well. I ask him if he has contact with his parents. With tears in his eyes he tells me he doesn’t have parents and I see it’s best to not ask any further. I decide to change the subject, but at that moment he points at himself and at the ground and tries to explain me something. I don’t understand him and ask him to explain it again. After a few attempts he stands up, points at himself and says “me” then points backwards at the ceiling and says “sun” then points to the floor in front of him and asks “what’s that?” With some hesitation I say "shadow?" He seems relieved and says “yes, that’s what I mean” Then, after a short silence, he looks down and says “I’m just a shadow”
Published 21st Mar 2017
| Edited 18th Oct 2024
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21st Mar 2017 3:34am
21st Mar 2017 4:01am
21st Mar 2017 4:25am
It is hard to imagine being alone, no home, not feeling welcome...My heart aches for S and the so many more like him...💛
21st Mar 2017 4:38am
For us, having a house and a passport (basically the right to be here) is normal, but for many it's not... that someone feels he's just a shadow broke my heart! Unfortunately there are many like him... thank you so much for your comment, Tim
21st Mar 2017 12:18pm
21st Mar 2017 12:43pm
Bless you for your wonderful comments, dearest... I really appreciate your support <3
21st Mar 2017 12:49pm
22nd Mar 2017 2:36am
21st Mar 2017 12:27pm
So powerful. Those stories are ones that need told. People need to understand how human these people are.
Wonderful again ;-)
Wonderful again ;-)
21st Mar 2017 12:45pm
"Those stories are ones that need told" > that's why I decided to share them; to give the invisible ones a face! Thank you again for your wonderful comment, my friend!
Anonymous
21st Mar 2017 1:25pm
My heart broke with those last words. Thank you for sharing his story and immortalizing him in some way.
21st Mar 2017 1:45pm
Thank you so much for your comment, I'm so grateful people seem to appreciate the conversations... that means a lot to me as does your comment!
21st Mar 2017 9:44pm
this is heartbreaking to learn Duende! left me speechless..... admire your compassion. Wish we had a few more of you!
22nd Mar 2017 2:43am
There are many like me, I just decided to share some of what I've seen... Thank you so much for your comment, dear friend, always nice to see you on my page :-)
22nd Mar 2017 2:21am
Truly heartwrenching ... my heart goes out to all that are in this situation ... far too many ...
22nd Mar 2017 2:44am
Thank you so much for your comment, Jemac! There are indeed far too many stories like these...
23rd Mar 2017 2:52am
again a heart wrenching - makes me feel useless to help - very sad :-(
thank you for sharing :-)
thank you for sharing :-)
23rd Mar 2017 8:53am
You're welcome! I'm very grateful that people appreciate the stories so much... thanks again :-)
19th Apr 2017 12:54pm
Ending gave me chills
Thank you for your efforts with these struggling souls
Like
Thank you for your efforts with these struggling souls
Like
I got chills as well when he told me he was just a shadow.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
26th May 2017 4:35am
It is often the case that doubt leads us to a place where we are not under a shadow or whether we are shadow itself. Depending on the narrative of our lives, we might use different metaphors; language is indifferent to those who speak it. All subdialects use their own comparative values. But, beneath it all, the story is the same. We are born to illustrate the facet of reality we represent. Life is a vision quest of self-discovery, and in the end of all metaphors, we wipe away the dogmas which mirror our egos, and we learn to see the truth. We are but shadows of the divine, and the universe loves us all unconditionally, regardless of how we unhibit, deny, avoid, or repel reality. Acknowledging this truth is the path to goodness. Rumi says we can slay the infidel within us by simply forgetting to judge anyone. Pema says that enlightenment is never being annoyed. These, too, are shadows, exuberance in the face of the unknowable. In this way, we come to understand on a borrowed understanding. We are the ones who choose our path. We do it to ourselves. Our suffering then is all about us. Thus, the soul passes through darkness and into more darkness, gifted by spiritual luminescence. We are the shadowy space where love shines.
