Dear Dad

I screamed at you
and you tossed it all back in my face.
Like every other time.

Emotionally beaten,
black and blue bruises on my soul.
And you demand respect.

Respect and gratitude
undying devotion and love without
even stopping to think.

Do you care?
I wonder now more than ever
and I've reconciled myself.

You will divorce mum.
That, or you'll kill each other
or yourselves.

You married perforce of an
accidental pregnancy from a rebound girlfriend.
I'm sorry I'm here.

I truly am, when this happens.
Another bruise to cover up inside
another frown to hide, again.

I spoke to you once,
about how I felt used, an asset
something to parade around.

You smiled
and you nodded
and said yes.

You said a lot of things.
You said I wasn't worth your time
or worth the effort.

You said I wasn't good enough
and that my dreams were childish.
You were cruel.

And now I can't respect you.

I apologise, sincerely.
You're my dad, and I love you.
And I'll always apologise

for anything.

But you've missed my life
and now you're going to miss all of yours
because you're too busy
demanding
respect.