dead weight

2am in the morning          
walking the new tunnel        
sent in to see how the job is going          
which is an easy read for “not very well”          
         
it’s a 2 lane road tunnel        
flouro-light lit          
with water running down the walls from cracks in the black rock          
bone-cold as a mountain stream          
and that hard white light makes it feel even colder          
         
the wind outside        
funnels up the valley        
blows in the east entrance          
and straight out the other end        
so it’s blowing hard in here          
feels all the world like being inside a fridge          
a cold wet windy fridge        
         
I walk        
think about my tunnelling days        
plenty were a lot like this        
and still miss it        
         
there are thirty men in here tonight        
and they know what I’m here for          
         
they pretend to be relaxed          
joking around at smoko time          
but it’s wooden          
men speaking louder laughing louder          
than they normally would          
pretending calm          
so I get talking to a couple of them I know        
from years ago        
and everyone relaxes        
         
on the schedule board          
up on the wall behind them        
there is nothing written but some phone numbers        
where the night’s work list should be        
         
my first foreman        
long dead now        
used to say        
“failing to plan          
is planning to fail”        
         
he was a good man for one-liners        
and knew where to look          
to get a feel for a job        
         
I get a ride in one of the dumptrucks          
talk with the driver while he waits to get loaded        
he’s working up here to pay his house off        
6 months to go        
         
there are girly-mags tucked behind his seat          
a stack of them          
drivers use those when they are sitting and waiting too much          
sign of a job going slow        
         
I keep walking        
watch the crane operator lifting a bloke up          
to work on the cables in the ceiling        
he sees me          
makes a point of attaching his harness          
struggles to find the attach point on the mancage          
should be automatic for him          
if he used it all the time        
tells me plenty about what they usually do          
         
keep walking          
         
the bloke running the job isn’t here        
he did the prestart with me watching          
made a show of it          
lots of paperwork          
sign this sign that          
but that was hours ago          
before I went away          
said I was going back to my hotel        
an hour’s drive back down the mountain        
         
he figured I’d gone home to bed        
         
I came back        
         
he isn’t here          
         
he’s lost his job just by doing that          
         
I keep walking up and down the tunnel          
another 10 hours of it          
and at dawn          
the sun just breaking at the east end of the tunnel          
I get talking to the men while they’re knocking off          
they’ve seen me in there all night          
figure I’ve seen plenty          
and they know too          
that I’ve busted their boss being half-arsed          
         
one of them makes a joke          
not joking          
about who might not be in the tunnel next shift          
         
I laugh too          
good joke          
good men          
just need a plan        
and someone to lead them        
         
I wait in the carpark          
leaning against my truck        
and I wish I still smoked        
for these moments          
         
7am he drives back on the job          
sees me as he’s pulling up          
can see by how tired I must look          
that I’ve been here all night          
his eyes go wide a moment        
face drops        
he parks        
takes a little longer then he needs to get his jacket on          
he fucking knows          
comes out of his car smiling          
eyes not showing it though          
I say “come sit in my wagon mate        
things we need to talk about”        
         
I don’t feel anything for him        
never do          
for dead weight