deepundergroundpoetry.com
Inevitable
I fall apart
picking myself up
like sand falling through a sieve
Never quite catching
all my pieces
Losing bits each time
some precious
some precious in that nauseating way
some portentous
some pretentious
But, none-the-less, all
parts of me
Are your parts similar?
Do you find yourself in need as I?
What can we do?
The answer lies in sand...
Published 18th Nov 2016
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likes 14
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comments 14
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The author encourages honest critique.
18th Nov 2016 4:35am
It sounds like you're trying to connect to someone spirituality, through the same holes in one another. Hm that the thing with poetry it's thought provoking like this is for me. Enjoyed the rather vague sweetness. Nice write :)
20th Nov 2016 7:19pm
Thank you very much, Shadez, luv. I suppose I wanted to let a friend know I was there for support because life hurts us unbearably sometimes yet we're supposed to just keep going on.
Tis a hard, hard thing...
Astute analysis, luv. :-*
Tis a hard, hard thing...
Astute analysis, luv. :-*
18th Nov 2016 4:41am
How this piece resonates with me...
"What can we do?" > if only I had the answer...
Great write, Savaja!
"What can we do?" > if only I had the answer...
Great write, Savaja!
20th Nov 2016 7:43pm
Thank you so much, Duende, luv.
It is an honor you felt this piece call to somewhat inside you....
It is an honor you felt this piece call to somewhat inside you....
Anonymous
18th Nov 2016 9:32am
<< post removed >>
20th Nov 2016 7:44pm
18th Nov 2016 10:00am
sand falling through a Sieve is a fantastic image for a life - hard to grasp, time running out
Fine write
Fine write
18th Nov 2016 11:37am
Questioning ink
Sort of a departure from your usual writing
Languid and bittersweet
Like
Sort of a departure from your usual writing
Languid and bittersweet
Like
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Jun 2019 1:47pm
18th Nov 2016 12:56pm
<< post removed >>
18th Nov 2016 8:26pm
some precious in that nauseating way
That's what is referred to as so achingly tender it hurts.
Lovely verse, Savaja.
That's what is referred to as so achingly tender it hurts.
Lovely verse, Savaja.
18th Nov 2016 10:45pm
Prosthesis unto terminal disintegration.......got me a machine electrode living in me heart now'a'daze.
The end just keeps on coming, but G'odds that wee are,
eternal
perfect
life is just'round th'bloodyfckn corner.........aiyeeeeeeee! Any day n'ow !!!! Love,dkzk
The end just keeps on coming, but G'odds that wee are,
eternal
perfect
life is just'round th'bloodyfckn corner.........aiyeeeeeeee! Any day n'ow !!!! Love,dkzk
19th Nov 2016 5:20pm
Enjoying both the motion of moisture that touches our sand and the relief of the link to the ground....
Terrifically penned!
Terrifically penned!
20th Dec 2016 12:06pm
Both as aggregate needing a binder to keep us whole.
I enjoyed the "sands of time" poem.
I enjoyed the "sands of time" poem.
