deepundergroundpoetry.com
WITNESS
Bear witness to the whale Cetus
Yea YES YOU fittest survivor
From Pleiades to Earth
To Tau without extinction
Draw light without dominion
On bamboo
A moon balances
On bamboo high bamboo tall
She fails to fall
Still her moonlight falls on all
And witness bravery love kindness
see the worst in us become our best
Vacate space wait airs vacuum
Let lions pace dogs chase
And donkeys don quixoti
Let peoples babel
And sleepers draft
Raft and separate
Exit and exist
Grace lakes cumin and bamboo
Commit to the scent of a pear
Let intelligence grow artificial
It matters not for only the spirit wills
Avoid fierceness and fears that father regret
Meditate stable your wits health and thrive
See all but judge none remember yourself
There is a place at a high table
Here play your suit and wear it well
Witness the witness
Fit the mantle and so survive
Yea YES YOU fittest survivor
From Pleiades to Earth
To Tau without extinction
Draw light without dominion
On bamboo
A moon balances
On bamboo high bamboo tall
She fails to fall
Still her moonlight falls on all
And witness bravery love kindness
see the worst in us become our best
Vacate space wait airs vacuum
Let lions pace dogs chase
And donkeys don quixoti
Let peoples babel
And sleepers draft
Raft and separate
Exit and exist
Grace lakes cumin and bamboo
Commit to the scent of a pear
Let intelligence grow artificial
It matters not for only the spirit wills
Avoid fierceness and fears that father regret
Meditate stable your wits health and thrive
See all but judge none remember yourself
There is a place at a high table
Here play your suit and wear it well
Witness the witness
Fit the mantle and so survive
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likes 15
reading list entries 2
comments 23
reads 807
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. WITNESS
Anonymous
11th Nov 2016 9:18pm
That's it, this is coming with me,
thank for the mental and spiritual
evocation .
I needed this cosmic cloud
thank for the mental and spiritual
evocation .
I needed this cosmic cloud
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
11th Nov 2016 10:27pm
Re. WITNESS
Re: Re. WITNESS
11th Nov 2016 10:28pm
Re. WITNESS
11th Nov 2016 11:46pm
Re: Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 6:22am
Re. WITNESS
11th Nov 2016 11:48pm
The syntax in this piece rattles on the tracks and tears itself apart, before coming to a more coherent conclusion by the end, which I think is more powerful because it contrasts with the rattling and tearing prior. The middle section of the poem may be too long - one can only take so much rattling and tearing - but otherwise I enjoyed this. Thank you for the read. x
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 6:21am
hey sibyl thanks for the drive past and for the thoughtful reply - will pass the message on
Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 5:08am
A moon balances
On bamboo high bamboo tall ...
Really enjoyed the imagery in the poem...
Good write...!
On bamboo high bamboo tall ...
Really enjoyed the imagery in the poem...
Good write...!
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 6:23am
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
12th Nov 2016 9:14am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 9:27am
Re. WITNESS
Anonymous
12th Nov 2016 9:30am
"Avoid fierceness and fears that father regret
Meditate stable your wits health and thrive
See all but judge none remember yourself
There is a place at a high table
Here play your suit and wear it well
Witness the witness
Fit the mantle and so survive..''
Beautifully educated by you.. This had reminded my of Rudyard Kipling "If"
🐳Trish
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 9:40am
Love the whale motif!!! If is always an inspiration so very much flattered by that comment - thanks Trish
Re. WITNESS
Anonymous
12th Nov 2016 2:10pm
Whale, i feel like you take us on a mental journey when you come back from your travels and bring pearls of wisdom as precious gifts, it makes us feel as though we were right there by your side.
What can i say that others or myself have not said before about your work, perfection and balance, form and message. Thank you for the gift(s) and showing us to look inward as well as outward.
What can i say that others or myself have not said before about your work, perfection and balance, form and message. Thank you for the gift(s) and showing us to look inward as well as outward.
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
13th Nov 2016 7:54am
Re. WITNESS
12th Nov 2016 3:26pm
A moon balances
On bamboo high bamboo tall
She fails to fall
Still her moonlight falls on all
beautiful....
On bamboo high bamboo tall
She fails to fall
Still her moonlight falls on all
beautiful....
1
Anonymous
- Edited 4th Aug 2023 8:45pm
12th Nov 2016 4:43pm
<< post removed >>
Re. WITNESS
13th Nov 2016 3:45pm
Whale, mo Chara.....envisioned enlightenment to be certain!
Perhaps, when we are able to view our individual selves--within and without....in recognition and acceptance--(harmoniously) can our spirits truly soar.....
Beauty and wisdom within your words and striking imagery!
I will be keeping your piece close....for those times when i need encouragement and hope....
Perhaps, when we are able to view our individual selves--within and without....in recognition and acceptance--(harmoniously) can our spirits truly soar.....
Beauty and wisdom within your words and striking imagery!
I will be keeping your piece close....for those times when i need encouragement and hope....
1
Re: Re. WITNESS
13th Nov 2016 7:44pm
A joy to find u here again my enchanting one! I'm grateful that these words offer encouragement and hope:)
Re. WITNESS
15th Nov 2016 3:42pm
Congratulations! This poem has been nominated for Poem of the Month to be featured throughout December on both the Deep Underground Poetry Site and Facebook page! You may view the submission at the link below, and will be notified if selected as the winner!
Again, congratulations and best of luck in the comp!
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9225/15/
Again, congratulations and best of luck in the comp!
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9225/15/
1