Under water.

As it's the end now,
the quiet, the quick before the lull,
when my heart beats fast and feels like falling through my throat.
When I can see the me, in the pretty garden, with two beautiful children, on a sunny day,
and I can see you laughing, laying out, happy, the same sun on your face
but it's not together
and we live by our own rules, in our own homes, on different paths
and I miss you,
like a nerve, severed.

We're so different. All I have ever wanted
is all you haven't considered
and vice
versa. I am never going to find the excitement in a boat, or a run, or a climb
but in a smiling face, in a life I have created with my fingers and my eyes and my limbs -
it's everything to me.

I'm tired of not knowing, or knowing too much that this has a time
until it's no longer fun for you
and the lists of jobs, and the swimming clubs and the stories before bed do your head in
and you resent me
and we lose this love for something I wanted, in joy.

Can't help but cry,
as it's the end now,
the quiet, the quick before the lull.