dear nurse

Dear nurse
Please don’t tell me im lucky to be alive
If I was lucky I would be in a morgue
Laying on  a cold metal slab
So my mind can cool off from being called fat
I would be able to say I have a death bed
If I was lucky I would be dead  
If I was lucky this rope burn
Would be the last scar
The last mark
Staining the canvas of my skin
Dear nurse
Don’t tell me what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
How dose knowing I cant even end my life make me stronger
If I was stronger wouldn’t I be able to hold on to life longer
Because I just let go
Dear nurse don’t tell me everything will be okay
I know you don’t know what to say
Im just a freak
Who doesn’t really speak
So dear nurse
Thank you for trying
But I give up on life
Now im dyeing