deepundergroundpoetry.com
"IF" ( Mental Diary)
I never claimed to be the perfect flower for him
but, if I were anything less than an exquisite bloom
his lips should have informed me
If the intimacy I was meant to finance
diminish in value with each uncertain inhale,
and the overwhelming worth of romance’s assets
never recoup from life’s insufferable trails,
then I can truly say love came with a price
that I couldn’t afford
*I’m venting, bear with me ...*
How could I hold his hand and walk by his side,
when my wrists were tied?
My availability was the equivalent of borrowed time
and in his mind, he was comfortable standing in line,
yet I was never qualified to satisfy his needs
because he didn’t fill out the proper documents
explaining what it takes to satiate his heart; in legible print
If we were never on one accord...
how could our love catch fire and reach a heat index hot enough,
that when years have passed and grey-hair is the new black,
he’d still be able to enjoy me on.......simmer.
~I was lookin' forward to that~
*still venting, I’ve got to get this off my chest…..*
If living in the moment exhibited no realistic option
for a future together,
then lust should have fondled temptation
and flirted with passion, while love stood at a distance…..
exposing just the carnal face of us
I didn’t tell him love still lingered…
just to get his attention and plant false hope in soiled memories,
only to watch a second chance die before it’s born
I told him love still lingered,
because it......
*vent interrupted*
Rain~
(Inspiration from past love)
Written by
rain1courtel
(RainC)
Published 11th Nov 2015
| Edited 1st Apr 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 17
reading list entries 7
comments 28
reads 1536
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Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
11th Nov 2015 7:29pm
the insight in this vibe here digs deep Rain
specifically this:
"If living in the moment exhibited no realistic option
for a future together,
then lust should have fondled temptation
and flirted with passion, while love stood at a distance…..
exposing just the carnal face of us " BOOM!!!
love loss with perspective
love it!!!!
specifically this:
"If living in the moment exhibited no realistic option
for a future together,
then lust should have fondled temptation
and flirted with passion, while love stood at a distance…..
exposing just the carnal face of us " BOOM!!!
love loss with perspective
love it!!!!
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
11th Nov 2015 7:59pm
...yeah, the stanza you've pointed out is the strongest mental affliction surrounding this ink for me. Glad you enjoyed the vibe Naajir. I know the potency in your pen, and how powerful your mind is, so an ink-nod and RL add, pumps me up. Thanks luv....
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
11th Nov 2015 8:46pm
I understand how this love lingers but if it's a transaction I doubt it could last. It sounds like he's doing business rather than giving into passion:
"If the intimacy I was meant to finance
diminish in value with each uncertain inhale,
and the overwhelming worth of romance’s assets
never recoup from life’s insufferable trails,
then I can truly say love came with a price
that I couldn’t afford"
I imagine he's the one who paid if he couldn't have you. Fine work Rain!
"If the intimacy I was meant to finance
diminish in value with each uncertain inhale,
and the overwhelming worth of romance’s assets
never recoup from life’s insufferable trails,
then I can truly say love came with a price
that I couldn’t afford"
I imagine he's the one who paid if he couldn't have you. Fine work Rain!
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
That's an interesting and truly worthy observation crowfly, thank you so much for the reply. Looking at my words and the way you perceived them, I could see that perspective. The point I tried to make was, we invest our heart, body and soul into loving someone, but what happens when it doesn't work out? All the time and energy- wasted? Scars and bruises left behind, etc... Love can be emotionally expensive.
I think this ink speaks more about our situation and less about him. His love, passion, and dedication to me was never in question. Just the situation, it became murky and taxing for me.Thanks hun...
I think this ink speaks more about our situation and less about him. His love, passion, and dedication to me was never in question. Just the situation, it became murky and taxing for me.Thanks hun...
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
11th Nov 2015 10:31pm
[...]If the intimacy I was meant to finance
diminish in value with each uncertain inhale,
and the overwhelming worth of romance’s assets
never recoup from life’s insufferable trails,
then I can truly say love came with a price
that I couldn’t afford [...]
I read the poem and it touched me deeply, read the insightful comments and read your poem again ...
The second stanza's my favourite stanza, too, since it questions love, labels love.
It's sad that love costs and that someone is going to pay for it sometime. Mostly.
It's sad when you don't get as much back as you invested.
Love is a game of luck. No payback ...
A great poem, Rain, I love it. xoxo
diminish in value with each uncertain inhale,
and the overwhelming worth of romance’s assets
never recoup from life’s insufferable trails,
then I can truly say love came with a price
that I couldn’t afford [...]
I read the poem and it touched me deeply, read the insightful comments and read your poem again ...
The second stanza's my favourite stanza, too, since it questions love, labels love.
It's sad that love costs and that someone is going to pay for it sometime. Mostly.
It's sad when you don't get as much back as you invested.
Love is a game of luck. No payback ...
A great poem, Rain, I love it. xoxo
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 1:50am
aww...thank you Chi for studying this ink to the point it touched you. That stanza seems to be the meat of this ink for readers and I'm wondering if my discernment of argument in those few words, delivered the message ineffectively. Maybe I should have written in 'glass half full' ink, you know; (when you do something out of love, you don't count the cost), instead of the negative connation this ink exude, but shit, my mind was reflecting and I was in a zone. Thank you beautiful!
Re: Re.
12th Nov 2015 5:25pm
No, you shouldn't have written it with another connotation. It's perfectly written and equally understood. Just thought about it a long time and perhaps just my approach to it was different. But that's fine since it's the best argument that your poem provokes thinking and reflecting! Thank YOU! xoxo
1
Re: Re.
12th Nov 2015 8:24pm
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
11th Nov 2015 11:42pm
This poem reminds me just how lucky I am the second time around. We are growing older (Our grey is definitely the new black) and we are reaping the rewards of dedication that we invested in our earlier passion..
Thanks Rain a touching and insightful piece.
Thanks Rain a touching and insightful piece.
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 1:54am
....and that's exactly how it should be, Tony! :) Growing old together! Love is truly a beautiful thing. I see it in your emails when you speak of your wife. Thank you funnyman!
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 00:10am
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 2:02am
....go head on and cry Jake, ain't nothing wrong with a man crying. Thank you for knocking on my front door, being a supportive- poetic neighbor and all. :) I appreciate you adding her to your cyber library, and thank you for the subscr. I'll be sure to hit you up soon for a read....
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
Anonymous
12th Nov 2015 1:15am
Venting is important and you're doing it with such class Rain.
My heart goes out to you.
I've been there and needless to say its the most devastating things in life, which leaves a permanent mark.
My heart goes out to you.
I've been there and needless to say its the most devastating things in life, which leaves a permanent mark.
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 2:05am
Thank you Vee! This vent was longggg overdue! I'm quiet wonderful now. :)
Appreciate the poetic love....
Appreciate the poetic love....
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 3:54am
Lovely Rain such a tender, passionate venting sending love your way on this write..
love Crim
love Crim
0
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 4:12am
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 3:18pm
I have to say, i love Blocat's comment.
As for you mamacita, I love when you tell it like it is and in the process, set yourself free. Free of false promises and hidden lies. It's better to see who and what a person truly is and be at peace, than to give all of yourself to nothing.......Preach on gurl ; )
As for you mamacita, I love when you tell it like it is and in the process, set yourself free. Free of false promises and hidden lies. It's better to see who and what a person truly is and be at peace, than to give all of yourself to nothing.......Preach on gurl ; )
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
12th Nov 2015 3:53pm
Lena, nothing makes the soul rejoice like releasing toxicities that drain the heart and mind. ;)
Thank you beautiful, I adore you…..
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
13th Nov 2015 3:29am
heartbreak kept in the silence & loyalty of a journal.
your emotion is beautifully documented...
your emotion is beautifully documented...
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
Thank you John! Coming from such a skilled and gifted poet as yourself, I'm flattered!
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
14th Nov 2015 7:48pm
a truly remarkable journey of emotions and reflections through your mental diary, and i hear you love can be expensive even bankrupt some, nice Rain...
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
16th Nov 2015 7:27pm
I ditto love being expensive, even bankrupt for some, Dean! Thank you my friend.....
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
16th Nov 2015 2:23am
Interesting topic to ponder
Intense feelings for one to draw from will always have treasure to offer. I think because society makes us feel we must dip into our treasure daily if not hourly to please. One should use temptation to make the treasure more desireable, not always giving in. It really isn't work when you want it. Desire, the strogest emotion that holds all others feelings. Lose it and the bad feelings come out to play.
Thought provoking write, thank you for the brain tease.
Intense feelings for one to draw from will always have treasure to offer. I think because society makes us feel we must dip into our treasure daily if not hourly to please. One should use temptation to make the treasure more desireable, not always giving in. It really isn't work when you want it. Desire, the strogest emotion that holds all others feelings. Lose it and the bad feelings come out to play.
Thought provoking write, thank you for the brain tease.
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
16th Nov 2015 7:29pm
"One should use temptation to make the treasure more desireable, not always giving in. It really isn't work when you want it. "<--Preach! Totally agree.... Thank you G, always love reading your words....
Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
17th Nov 2015 4:33pm
Simply put--those past inspirations...present tense situations...future dramatizations...an add for my library!
1
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
18th Nov 2015 4:49am
(((((((heyyyy shell!)))))) *screaming* because I'm happy to see ya! :)
.....and I completely agree with your stance! 100% Real! Thank you for stopping by for a visit!
Appreciate you adding her to your cyber library!
Hugs....
.....and I completely agree with your stance! 100% Real! Thank you for stopping by for a visit!
Appreciate you adding her to your cyber library!
Hugs....
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jun 2024 1:45am
22nd Jan 2016 2:39pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. "IF" ( Mental Diary)
23rd Jan 2016 1:17am
I sigh whenever you visit me DP, in a way that garner admiration! You're just a phenomenal writer and it's humbling to hear your thoughts on my ink once more. The beauty of reflecting is, you can look back on the falls of your self-centered-mentality and acknowledge it. That's growth hun, that's positive change of the mind and that's a good thang', when going forward. :) I actually adore your love/hate relationship with this ink..;)
Thank you for inhaling me once again....
Thank you for inhaling me once again....