deepundergroundpoetry.com
'Brought horse to Water...'
He laps longingly
at the imaginary
pockets of life
sustaining aqua
layered, strewn
about this most
barren landscape...
Feels the pressure
of a discontented
heart, stitched fragments
bereft of the 'whole...'
Though the fog
never truly dissipated
laser focus drew upon
one apparent conclusion...
an oasis of love never existed
So the quench, shalt not
be realized as suckling 'pon
the duvet, will only result
in 'cotton mouth...'
Published 22nd Sep 2015
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likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 18
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The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Sep 2015 11:55am
Poetik, this is a great piece. Brilliant lay out of thoughts doll.
That last verse is genius and gooorgeous.
💋Jennifer
That last verse is genius and gooorgeous.
💋Jennifer
22nd Sep 2015 12:58pm
Thank you my dear sweet lady, truly humbled by your sweet words on my ink, n blushing wildly lol
22nd Sep 2015 3:04pm
I love the fact that you give the reader so much space the question of personification is uncertain regarding the subject in the write: that is to say it seemingly could be a metaphor for an actual person or a real four legged animal.
Well what I've always loved about
writing is the reader can interpet anyway it feels to them, so in that manner I agree with you, but as for me
in particular? yea it's a person lol
Thanks a bunch bro. Truly grateful for the support :)
22nd Sep 2015 3:32pm
Poe I feel this write could have been for me wise words..
excellent with love Crim
excellent with love Crim
22nd Sep 2015 8:33pm
Well if u felt it, I'm proud of it's result :)
Thank you my dear, always :)
Thank you my dear, always :)
22nd Sep 2015 3:47pm
...and he did drink...I love this poem, Poetik, so much imagery evoked. All rather naughty too...
22nd Sep 2015 8:35pm
Lol wow really? Hhhmmmm maybe u could 'expound' a bit? lol
Thank u my friend, truly appreciate you :)
Thank u my friend, truly appreciate you :)
22nd Sep 2015 3:54pm
Interesting ink......this can be read several different ways.
Beautifully done ; )
Beautifully done ; )
22nd Sep 2015 8:37pm
Lena, Mamacita...
You're so wonderful, n so right
still, it isn't as mysterious as it appears :)... Truly grateful to you n your support ;)
You're so wonderful, n so right
still, it isn't as mysterious as it appears :)... Truly grateful to you n your support ;)
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
22nd Sep 2015 9:22pm
<< post removed >>
23rd Sep 2015 00:03am
22nd Sep 2015 9:34pm
"Feels the pressure
of a discontented
heart, stitched fragments
bereft of the 'whole...' "<--- that was 'stitched' together gorgeously!
I can relate to this ink on so many levels. You do know how to flip the emotions of your readers, Rich. Love it!
of a discontented
heart, stitched fragments
bereft of the 'whole...' "<--- that was 'stitched' together gorgeously!
I can relate to this ink on so many levels. You do know how to flip the emotions of your readers, Rich. Love it!
23rd Sep 2015 00:10am
Sweet Rain, my sweet Rain how Iove your visits n your support! Always n truly I appreciate you :)
23rd Sep 2015 4:59pm
i dunno why this evokes such a keen sense of sadness, mayhap my state of mind while reading or most likely because you're cryptic as fudge when you wanna be ltm
brilliant ink poe
xoxox
brilliant ink poe
xoxox
23rd Sep 2015 11:00pm
You're so smart I'm not surprised you
hit it on the head bout being sad... It most surely came from a very sad place inside... Thank you my sweet Katja, ur the best
hit it on the head bout being sad... It most surely came from a very sad place inside... Thank you my sweet Katja, ur the best
25th Sep 2015 7:07pm
"He laps longingly
at the imaginary
pockets of life
sustaining aqua"
~*this is pure capture, the opening almost tender & wary..
I am impressed, awed & wanna give u a hug. ...deep & lovely this is, dearest!
the end with cotton-mouth--soo *You.. ;) made me dark sigh, grin & aww at same time..
this is gonna be hoarded on my list..tyty.. love the mind pic all the way thru!
hugs
~d
at the imaginary
pockets of life
sustaining aqua"
~*this is pure capture, the opening almost tender & wary..
I am impressed, awed & wanna give u a hug. ...deep & lovely this is, dearest!
the end with cotton-mouth--soo *You.. ;) made me dark sigh, grin & aww at same time..
this is gonna be hoarded on my list..tyty.. love the mind pic all the way thru!
hugs
~d
26th Sep 2015 00:59am
*hugging* u right back! Thank u my sweet one, truly n always I'm so grateful for your continued support of my ink :)
