Runner-Up

Congratulations! You've been selected runner-up for the competition  
But don't feel bad, the fix was in, next best is all you've ever been  
Just 'cos you entered whoever came in second will now finish first  
So what if you never win first-prize , at least you know it could be worse  
So please accept this friendly pat on the back 'cos I coulda a slapped your face  
Just forget about winning anything or I'll let you own last place  
You'll never get the trophy, never not ever in your never ending life  
Consider yourself lucky to get a girlfriend that will never be your wife  
And if she ever has a baby, it'll be someone else's child  
From all the times she cheated and left your bed defiled  
Keep your chin up for the next round of slap boxing you will take  
You'll learn that poetry is just like love,  
the best get cherry picked and the rest are only pretty when they're fake