deepundergroundpoetry.com
Closing Time 2
Is it really worth the strain
All this effort to maintain
Could be it's time to take it slow
Consider going with the flow
So I'll pay up for another round
In this fabled bar Deep Underground
Then listen to the local muse
And kick back while she sings the blues
Her "Fever" becomes a lullaby
A dream beneath a neon sky
A voice heard where dark angels roam
Saying "Come on, babe, let's get you home."
All this effort to maintain
Could be it's time to take it slow
Consider going with the flow
So I'll pay up for another round
In this fabled bar Deep Underground
Then listen to the local muse
And kick back while she sings the blues
Her "Fever" becomes a lullaby
A dream beneath a neon sky
A voice heard where dark angels roam
Saying "Come on, babe, let's get you home."
Published 17th Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 19
reads 843
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
17th Aug 2015 7:56pm
If you need a ride home afterwards, I'll be glad to give you one, Sir Fly. . .Free of charge, of course. . .;)
17th Aug 2015 8:00pm
I think I'll take you up on that. Just hold on, I'll grab my hat. Thanks Devlin!
17th Aug 2015 8:00pm
Sir Crow the bar that never closes lets have another round on the house..
clever inking Sir..
with love Crim
clever inking Sir..
with love Crim
17th Aug 2015 8:06pm
Thanks Crim. I'll take a Long Island Iced Tea. I hope you'll join me, lovely lady.
Anonymous
17th Aug 2015 8:50pm
<< post removed >>
17th Aug 2015 8:56pm
17th Aug 2015 10:04pm
Crow, this piece is phenomenal. I can here that haunting Saxophone, bass and brushed drum playing sleepily to the solitary couple on the dance floor holding each other tightly. I like the infusion of DU culture into the piece as well. Bravo!
18th Aug 2015 00:35am
Thanks Gahdess for the great comment. I think we both have some knowledge of the setting. I'm generally reluctant to bring DU into my work in any obvious way, but I think if fits well enough here for me to get away with it. If not I'm 86ed!
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
17th Aug 2015 11:14pm
<< post removed >>
18th Aug 2015 00:41am
It would be cool to have an actual bar or club for us with our moniker, wouldn't it? Black leather required, and the faint-of-heart would be directed elsewhere by the bouncer at the door. What fun! Thanks Taryn!
18th Aug 2015 00:19am
You read like smooth dark whiskey, darlin Crow.. I'm flicking my zippo & sparking one to ur shadowy sensual piece!
"A voice heard where dark angels roam"
~a most touching siren-y line.. [yep mite not be a word but siren-like beckoning, y'knw] ;) likes it..
be careful w/those lulling voices.. & may you sleep this fancy bar trip off proper! hughug
~d
"A voice heard where dark angels roam"
~a most touching siren-y line.. [yep mite not be a word but siren-like beckoning, y'knw] ;) likes it..
be careful w/those lulling voices.. & may you sleep this fancy bar trip off proper! hughug
~d
Yes, I go down easy. Sadly the only sirens I hear in these parts are attached to emergency vehicles and cop cars. Thanks for the fine comment, Darksighs. I love your way with words.
18th Aug 2015 4:35pm
I love this Crow. It flowed as smooth as a scotch on the rocks. Love the ode to Blue Velvet as well. Excellent piece!!
19th Aug 2015 00:00am
Thanks DPW! I'll make yours a double. I love "Blue Velvet." Almost anything by David Lynch, for that matter.
18th Aug 2015 10:54pm
So so gladden to have come here, this is amazingly written. I am a part of this
scene before my eyes & I love that a lot,
when becoming immerse. Adore your ink.
scene before my eyes & I love that a lot,
when becoming immerse. Adore your ink.
Thanks Noire! That's what I was hoping for, to get the reader inside this gent's head. He might be nodding off. He might be drunk. If it's the latter I can guarantee a hangover-free aftermath to the read. Getting you a bit intoxicated is an appealing prospect none the less.
19th Aug 2015 5:35am
Isabella in 'Blue Velvet,' got her looks from her mother. smooth aged whiskey & mellow tunes...
19th Aug 2015 1:50pm
21st Aug 2015 3:26am
reading this swaying could literally hear music playing...Wonderfully Captured Crowfly..truly enjoyed as always!!!
