Open door

I’m sorry my love, for blaming you all this time we’ve been apart,
Please understand that losing you made me lose half of my heart,
But I realize why I blamed you for our lost love,
It was a selfish reason in my own part,
You see by blaming you I still kept you inside of me even though it was pain,
But it was the only way to have you and for you not to fade,
Frightened by thought of forgetting you because I knew I will be left alone again,
I put my soul through hell for enduring the sorrow you left,
I have finally come to my senses, realizing I’m the one to blame,
Because I’m the one who fell for you and believed every “I love you” that was said,
So please forgive me for blaming you for all,
By not forgiving myself, the anguish I went through was my fault,
I was like a child believing every dream I had of you,
Having a weak mind for hoping it will come true,
I put most of my depression upon myself but I did it all for our love,
Because I truly believe that our love was one of,
I was told many time to leave you behind and walk away,
But I was delusional from your memories I kept,
Because I truly believed you and I were true soul mates,
But in the end that belief is my biggest regret,
When you left, you left your impression all over my soul,
Whereas I, my foot prints were left on your dusty road,
I know I did not deserve the way you left us which I will never forget,
It hurts so bad that it’s hard for me to rest,
The pain in the depth of my heart; the tears my soul has shed,
The way I lost myself, just looking for my eternal end,
All the wasted nights believing that someday you’ll return,
Because you left the door wide open without leaving a note,
Waiting and waiting restlessly, vainly in the rain,
Every hour, every day the water level slowly raised,
As I was getting flooded I did not care if I drowned,
I was not going to close that door until you showed,
Just kept on staring out that door but that day never came,
Now my only concern is that I’m going to leave this world with shame,
To see you one last time it’s my only hope I have now,
I need look into your eyes and say goodbye before there’s no tomorrow,
Before that day comes I want to hold you one last time,
So I can rest without a tear falling from my eyes,
This will give peace to myself, soul and mind,
Because I need to close that door in order for me leave this life,