...A Loving Heavy Heart...

There are nights like these that keep me awake    
     
It haunts me in my very thoughts    
     
I wont be able to love as i used to    
     
Losing all hope and trust  to my very words    
     
"..love is a beautiful thing.."    
     
I used to say it so cheerfully    
     
These words Cutting my throat to release nothing of sound    

My heart feels heavy..it hurts so much..!    
     
I weep upon my bedroom floor      
     
Knowing that i cannot take this anymore    
     
I cant remember the last time i felt loved    
     
Loved by another, i remember you    
     
But it was never love for you didn't feel the same    
     
Unrequited love, i know you weren't to blame    
     
For the first time i felt love    
     
I had lost feelings and i was to blame    
     
I reap what i sow about all i've ever known    
     
Im better off loving others and being hurt...    
     
I'm just meant to be in solitude in this      
dark cold world    
     
Afterall, Im getting used to this feeling    
     
I remember feeling this way      
     
So don't you worry i'll be fine    
     
Loves not meant for everyone    
     
It just isn't my time.. to love..