Intolerable

What do you do when you drive everyone you have ever loved away?
When you are created to destroy you're own happiness?
My mind spins like 50 mile an hour winds.
Surely someone out there can make you happier.

I have destroyed everything I have ever loved.
I have destroyed myself along the way.
I try to swim but here I am still gasping for air.
I can barely see myself in the mirror anymore.

I can no longer feel myself here
How long have I been gone?
I'm sorry.