Mess

He snt his deepest condolences in the form of a kiss,
Said regardless who've had their way at your heart before me,
I will grant your every wish

For when it comes to your heart,
All of the beauty and now non existent love that had been dug up, prior to our meeting
I promise to plant a new one
Even if it starts as just a seedling

He held faith in the palm of his hand,
I saw the brightest of future in the twinkle of his eye
And to match the beauty of this perfect mans pupil
It'd take a million of a starry nights sky

Though a million of you in itself,
Couldn't repair this hole in my heart
And the deepest of condilensces you had promised
Have now vanished at once,
and turned to the dark

And forgiveness is the weakest of sin
that I refuse to let weigh on my shoulders
Of this heart that has taken a beating
Of 100 hearts and 1000 boulders

And to reach for the sky is an understatement,
For my limits now pre exist
And a life where Ive no trace of you
is a life that I'm willing to risk




If I told you I wanted to die
would you act is if you didn't care
Whip up excuses for my sorrows
Tell me that life just isn't fair

If I told you I wanted to die
would I strike a nerve in your heart
Woukd you stay up late at night
Hoping my death doesn't become a art

And I'd be leaving behind me a world,
Endangered and coated in black
Bit I'd be leaving behind my art
And in telling you I don't want it backing bury it with me, cuz I don't want it back!

And If I told you I wanted to die
Woukd you shrug and say I don't care
That the choice is up to me
And not answer my calls when Im standing right there

And when I'm standing on that ledge
and my heart cries for your name
When I fall to my own death
Will you be the one to blame

When I sketch my rage into my skin
a map for the world to see
I won't even leave a note
Cuz all of my pain is in my art to see

I just wish that you would've been there
When I was hurting and needing you most

And does it bother you, even a little
That

if I told you I wanted to die
would you play messenger for my mom and dad
Or be my sole beneficiary
Soaking up the riches that I'd never had

will a frown be brought to your face
When you see my casket go down
Six feet under the earth
And you probably won't even have a frown






if I could speak the language of love,
I'd retire my notebook and pen
Mouth the words that I've tried hardest to craft
Plead the fifth upon all my intent

If I had an open mind,
And I could speak the language of pain
Id retire the mood that has enveloped me,
look at all the things in life I could gain

But tell me, would you do the same?
If the opportunity had shown itself to you,
And you can change the person you once was,
Make your thoughts into something brand new
Make yourself into someone new

If I could speak the language of forgiveness,
Id retire the word hate,
Forgive my foes and all that've laid fingers,
And thrown closed fisted jabs at my face

If the day had finally come,
When I could speak the language of Life,
Id find happiness in all the bitterness
Forget all the negativity and strife

And the thought had came to my mind tonight,
Is death really the end?
And if reincarnation does exist,
Id wish to myself, to make amends

To speak the language of perfection,
To have the ability to look In the mirror, And be happy with who I see,
For my reflection couldn't be any clearer

That I'm who I'm supposed to be,
And as human, were crafted to make mistakes,
And imperfection is the key to our beauty
As it seperate a ourselves from the fakes





Id settled for the good guy,
who'd assured me I was the one
I took these feelings slow in the beginning,
but my heart had jumped the gun

And love had soon consumed me,
As if it couldn't have came any quicker
But you soon enough, withdrew me
And with your hand upon the trigger...

Bang, you've shot me down
The echoe slurred throughout the town
And as I laid there dying,
You didn't even make frowna frown

Bang you've shot me dead
Loves last bullet penetrated my head,

you aimed the final one at my head




I'd settled for a love,
That in now way could I relate
He gave me a piece of his heart,
That in the end I couldn't take

I settled for second best,
Because insecurity was my prison
And I was happy for a moment,
Although I wasn't the only one with him

I forgave all his mistakes,
Although time and time again
He'd continue to break my heart
And look for trust that he could bend

Now my feelings are over ruled,
I am the judge and you are the jury,
I refuse to take this abuse,
My heart and soul is no hurry

I settled for second best,
And all I brought myself was torture
And just like all the rest,
I was a statistic,
A fucking




My heart will always yearn for you,
Precious first love of mind
And I'm sorry for all that I've done
but Im letting you go for the last time

Im setting you free to the world,
And no longer will you be held back by me
And although I'll miss what we had
I want what's best for you and me

And right now, us being together
I know isn't making you happy
Just promise when you find another
That every now and then you'll  still think about me

So turn the that frown into a smile,
The one I so graciously got no know,
Wipe the tears from the cheeks that I've kissed,
A thousand and one times before

Just know that you'll always be a part of me,
And I know you still love me, i know
it's killing me that I have to do this
But i now have to let you go

And when the summer air is coated by snow
And seasons have gone and now changed
Just promise me one little thing,
That you'll never forget me okay


When you were leaving,
I know you didn't intend on taking my breathe with you

It's just I felt most safest,
and emotionally stable,
when I was with you

And you coming into my life,
and leaving wasn't,
the issue

it's  more so that,
you've proven to me,
that your shoulders not my tissue


Would you put forth the effort,
if I told you what was at stake?That I've now overcome with sadness
That my temperament has reached
With this feeling I cannot shake
Would you meet me halfway if I took the liberty of paving the roads for you?
Can I confide in you? Trust the person inside of you?
Cuz from what I've seen, the person I've gotten to know no longer exists. just a replica, a self portrait of a bitch
A narcissistic, love sadistic witch,
Focused on eating men alive then spitting them back up and calling it quits
On a love once nurtured and grown to be strong, funny how when in love, how sometimes you can be so wrong?