Catacombs

It's good to see someone using rhyme and metre. But, as you have rashly opted for honest critique, would you up to a little constructive criticism? You are writing in iambic feet, but let it slip in several lines, which, to my mind, gives it a clunky feel at times. Now sticking rigidly to the rhythm can become monotonous, but movement away from it should be to fulfil some poetic purpose, as in Shakespeare's ideal example, bid my seated heart knock at my ribs, where the inverted foot actually mirrors the heart lurching with shock. So, your line, untouched by this world's dark guise, can be very easily brought into line. Untouched by this worlds darkEST guise. Of course you may feel that it works better with the broken rhythm. Just a suggestion.

Thanks for the feedback. I definitely appreciate constructive criticism. I will keep that in mind with my next write. :)