Denial

Empty shell.
Please let me burn in hell;
it's what I deserve after all.

Don't try to help me up when I fall,
I'd rather you kick me in the teeth.
Just hit me when I'm down, please.

My head is hazy,
I feel wired.
I think I'm going crazy.

My throat burns from dehydration,
throwing up all hours of the night and
crying your eyes out can do that.

My nose is bleeding.
Drip drop, tick tock;
you're running out of time to save me.

I hope that you hate me,
at least then I'd know what you're feeling.
I'm crying onto a note pad filled with words I didn't say.

I just wish there was more time.
I wish it didn't end this way.
I would even go as far as to wish it all away just to spend one day with you.

My lips are pale and dry.
Clearly, I cried out all the water from my body this morning or threw it up last night.

I don't have time for these games today.
You can either let me win this battle by myself
or I will leave everyone and win it my way;
alone.

It's not like I was supposed to be happy anyway.