No love no manhood

My love for J is fake
He came over once more
And finally told me the truth
How can this happen
How can I allow myself to love him
He held me all night
As I wanted to die
But words couldnt explain
He is gone now
Like always
He hits me then leaves me
Comforts me then hurts me again
J your gone Like you always have been
Your nothing but a figure in the shadow
You go until another comes
Then you show me how manly you are not
Just go and hide in the shadow
And stay as far from me
I can not do this
But I promise I will find
I will find someone to come
Find me and show that its okay
That a man is what you never were