chaos in stereo

I get torn apart when I hear two sources tell me different things.My heart wants to believe the only father I have is on the right path,but the other source tells me he returned to smoking crack.They tell me if he comes here they will send him right back to jail.My heart aches because my attempt to calm the storms around me has failed.The negative atmosphere around me is slowly poisoning my mind.I look forward to the day when I can enjoy a quiet peace of any kind.I hate being in the middle of two sides waging war on each other.All I asked was to grow up in a home with a loving father and mother.In life we rarely get what we ask.Living in this warzone is an exhausting task.The darkness of night is a relief because I can hear my own thoughts clearly.I am struggling to help all at the same time the people I love so dearly.I am at the end of my own strength.sometimes it is all I can do to respond with a quiet"Oh"I hear both sides of the war thundering in my ears.Its like listening to the chaos in stereo.