deepundergroundpoetry.com
That look
With your ankles locked
Over my left shoulder
I saw that look.
It wasn't love.
After five balls deep orgasms
Of course you loved me.
Fucking oxitocin made sure of that.
No, this was something else.
Like you had gone to heaven
And been ordered to return
To spread the good news.
I've seen that look before
Like the last time he tried to possess my soul
And the foundations of the earth shook
At my rejection.
Deeply hard fucked
By a master of the art
You didn't stand a chance
With your soul exposed
And ripe for the taking.
Uncummed and bulging
I withdrew dripping wet
To leave your soul wanting
For ecstasy's applause.
I know it was that look like surrender.
And you silently acknowledge
That all you are is now mine.
Over my left shoulder
I saw that look.
It wasn't love.
After five balls deep orgasms
Of course you loved me.
Fucking oxitocin made sure of that.
No, this was something else.
Like you had gone to heaven
And been ordered to return
To spread the good news.
I've seen that look before
Like the last time he tried to possess my soul
And the foundations of the earth shook
At my rejection.
Deeply hard fucked
By a master of the art
You didn't stand a chance
With your soul exposed
And ripe for the taking.
Uncummed and bulging
I withdrew dripping wet
To leave your soul wanting
For ecstasy's applause.
I know it was that look like surrender.
And you silently acknowledge
That all you are is now mine.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 19
reads 1472
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 3:09pm
re: Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 9:15pm
re: Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 9:16pm
Re: That look
Anonymous
28th Jun 2013 6:09pm
Oh. My. Fucking. Lord. Yes, you do... =)
0
Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 6:42pm
After five balls deep orgasms
oh yeah
my kinda guy
looking forward to round 2
oh yeah
my kinda guy
looking forward to round 2
0
re: Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 9:19pm
Re: That look
28th Jun 2013 7:19pm
Re: That look <span style=
28th Jun 2013 9:20pm
you could
28th Jun 2013 9:47pm
take out the last two lines and it would work the rest of the words 500% better. even though there were plenty of cliches, they worked with the content, because really, there's hardly any new way to make an erotic original...(i'll even have a stumble at it myself one day soon). you got a more unique feeling across anyway, but ruined the whole thing for me with the joke at the end... could be 'cause i'm in a bad mood though. [:
thanks for the read.
thanks for the read.
0
re: you could
28th Jun 2013 11:21pm
Yes'm. It may be a bit flippant, but that was no joke. Although it sings as one. Maybe I should rethink the last.....
Re: That look
Anonymous
28th Jun 2013 10:56pm
Sounds like you definitely have something worth surrendering for. Sexy write! :)
0
Re: That look
29th Jun 2013 12:38pm
I imagine there is more than meets the eye to this piece. Intense passion Hawkdude. Well conveyed. Great imagery.
0
Re: That look <span style=
30th Jun 2013 3:27pm
Yes'm. It was a look I had seen before, but was not expecting it here, miss if that is what you mean.
Re: That look
Anonymous
4th Jul 2013 3:03am
Veeeeeery nice :) x
0
Re: That look
Anonymous
24th Apr 2014 3:32pm
Been there, done that....
0
Re: That look
15th Aug 2014 6:47pm
After five..... balls deep orgasms
you fuck well
with just normal two
what if u really had
five balls
you would be like a tap
needing corking...
her tongue
would be enough
you fuck well
with just normal two
what if u really had
five balls
you would be like a tap
needing corking...
her tongue
would be enough
0