Submissions by papergirl

children are taught not to trust strangers,
but it's those who are closest who are the real danger.
those i've called family and those i've called friends
i no longer do because i know what they did.
and no one believes me, they think i'm insane.
no one believes those men are that way.
but i remember crying, i remember being afraid,
i remember waking up sore as proof of my pain,
and i remember trying to wash it away.
but no soap can cleanse the stain left on me.
it is permanently ingrained in my memory.
i'm still fucked up and i'm still afraid....

i'm not ashamed of the scars
or the tiny blue veins.

they are there for a reason
and there they'll remain.

i've earned them. they're mine.
you can't take them away.

resist the temptations, it's within your control
i tell myself...

these are not memories,
but only imaginings.

i'd rather be crazy
than have this be true.

don't think about
what no one has done to you.

you're safe, you're sane,
you're strong, you're brave.

i don't believe it.

i can't stop seeing it.

i do not need this air to breathe,
i need only to inhale smoke.

i do not need these eyes to see,
i still see when they are closed.

i do not need this mouth to speak,
it's best i keep it shut.

i do not need these fingers to feel,
to feel i have to cut.

i do not need this heart to beat,
without it my blood still flows.

i do not need this mind to think,
for it left long ago.