Not another love story

Who Wouldn't?


He's the kind of guy who reads me poetry
because he doesn't know what to say
or, because he's absolutely positive
but, knows someone else said it better

the sort of guy who'd backpack to Antarctica
live in an igloo, for love
then kill himself in some darkly humorous way
just to add to the tragedy of the ending
if it didn't work

he'd go all in
on a last hand
with the odds stacked against him
while walking the plank
with a smirk that'd confirm
he'd won, either way
and got the last laugh, regardless

because, no matter how deep his philosophies get
"fuck it, let it be"
is always his bottom line
and, though I've never met a more peace loving soul
I've also never met one more willing to fight
or more capable of doing it right

and, he can dream
the kind of limitless, utterly preposterous
magic filled sort of dreams
so perfectly well, that the impossible seems
rationally plausible, even probable

he's the epitome of an extremist
with bursts of radicalism
in his lack of concern
although his every apathetic thought
is still laced with care
because, he believes in alternate endings
in the heroes being resurrected
at the last second

he's woven Rumi and Nietzsche
into his own theories
every single one, based on personal freedom
and general uprising
he'd sit for days and nights, explaining them
if I needed something more to believe in

I love him
but, looking at him
as he daydreams, and talks about
night being day in a nearby dimension
and life being death in the form of a prison
that we will surely dance our way out of
any time now...
I think, who wouldn't?

I can't even remember a time when I didn't

It Girl Freestyle

[Invalid Image - URL must end with jpeg, jpg, gif, png or bmp]I'll always treat you like a queen
Because you deserve it
Always put a smile on your face
Because your smile so perfect
It's rare to find a lover that's irreplaceable
Your perfect imperfections makes you irresistible
And you mean the world to me
The perfect tune to my melody

You can be my it girl
The only one I need girl
Love you until the end time
And if loving you is crime girl
Then it is what it is
Lock me up in your heart for life
No other woman can compare to you
I love to show you off in the spotlight
You can be my it girl
I'll be your biggest fan girl
I want the world, I want the world
To know how much I'm in love you
How much I care about you

Yellow


She asked
so I searched myself
deep down to the depths of me

and came up empty
 
'cept for old memories
that may have been embellished
for continuity

and my head
is numb from thinking
 
too many thoughts
have weighted my feet
when the truth is
my mind left ages ago

and I know she knows

~Fornever~

See you setting
beneath the setting sun
like the mist filled morning
under my skin
you keep it popping
in my head

From the eyes first lock
till the drowning of lungs
as the leaves begin to fall
I see in fields
and hear your voice
in a sad song
that stutter
just let me hear that voice
a little longer
making my voice stronger

An early autumn breeze
the browning
of all these trees
your memory never will ease
aslong as I am hanging
threads of that sweater
and the lost lie
of forever.

A Dream of You~


I had a Dream that you came back into my arms,
Dove under my skin and made my cold Soul warm.
Everything around me faded out of view,
And there I was, alone again, a fool for you.
I held you in the morning, then, again, at Noon,
I held you in my arms all night until I felt the swoon.
I held you patiently inside the candles light,
Long enough to warm you up, so you could treat me right.
You helped me find a different piece of mind each day,
And when I felt alone you helped me find my hideaway.
You showed me Pain and Pleasure shortly followed,
Flooding through my veins, filling up all that was hollow.
Something in your stinging kiss fulfills the crave,
Each time, surely, sending me much closer to the Grave.
A Dream it may have been, but, oh, the way it felt!
To hold you in my arms again, biting on a belt.
You were my oblivion, that's why I let you go,
Now a Dream of you is all I wish to know.
You helped me find destruction, my old, beautiful friend,
But, like all things, destruction, too, must come to an end.
I wish to look within myself and try to heal,
All the Pain and Loneliness that we tried to conceal.
The Dreams aren't helping, though, it's like you're calling me back,
A Phantom of the old Blood Train, trying to lay new tracks.
So, here's to you, old friend, for helping me find Peace,
Here's to all the Darkness that you helped me to release.
Here's to all the Joy you brought, also all the Pain,
Here's to all the times you made me feel fucking insane.
Here's to all the good times, here's to all the bad.
I'll never take you back, but you're the best I've ever had.


~ For H. E. Rowan

Loving You

Loving you was beautiful
your words soothing caresses
upon my mind and heart
you carried me over galaxies
of adventures within myself
finding out the desires embedded
within waiting to awake

over the threshold of desires
flame ablazed blooming and bursting
engulfing us in its entirety
a bonfire of loving lusts
reaching into the skies
burning everything on the way
it was us within the pyre

The blindness caught up with us
the bonfire finally turn to mere flickers
in feeding each other we forgot
the cracks and the scars
inflicted by our greed
scatches and abrasions of selfishness
personality clashed and differences collided

Lies applied to smoothen cracks
Lies told to balm the hurts
love couldn't go any deeper
than scrabbling carnal desire
nights filled with desperate couplings
didn't erase the days' indifference
Humpty Dumpty crashed down the wall

a cool morning on a Monday
it was a silent goodbye
you didn't say a word
nothing left to say
A new beginning
for me I didn't know
where to start again.

The Hunger

every time she saw me she bit her lips together
and her eyes opened up to greet me
it was like she couldn't stand my presence
and wanted to inhale me into her nostrils
she always came around me starting conversations
on the basketball court
making fun of me and speaking profanity
about the way I dribble and played defense
she would back her ass into my bulge
as she dribbled her way to the hoop
grinding on my crotch
trying to provoke a foul
but it was basketball
yet I felt it was personal
so much pussy when I was younger
what happened to my hunger?

      Ribbon

There is a pain in her heart she tries to hide.

Wrapped tightly in ribbon and gently tied.

Tied in a bow, sealed with a kiss.

How long can she hold it in the abyss.

The bow unties, the ribbon comes loose.

She puts her self through more abuse.

She gets more ribbon and gets some glue.

To cover her scars and start a new.

Covered in bows trying not to remember.

The cold cold nights in september

Spoons


We were cuddling,
Naked,
Spoons.

Her back,
Nestled,
Against my front.

Her head,
Pillowed,
On my arm.

My arm,
Wrapped,
Around her chest.

My hand,
Gently cupping,
Her breast.

Her butt,
Pressed,
Against my groin.

My cock,
Nuzzled,
Within her crack.

We were,
Not quite,
Snoozing;
Not quite,
Awake.

We were,
Each,
Breathing,
Gently;
Whispering,
Quietly.

I was,
Not exactly,
Aroused,
Not completely,
Flaccid.

She was,
Not really,
Lustful,
Not totally,
Dispassionate.

We were,
At peace,
In our warmth,
Bundling,
Snuggling
Within,
Each other.

And it was,
In that fashion,
That our love,
For each other,
Grew.

Walked out


As she walked,
Out of my life.

She took with her,
The very air I breathed.

Such was the punch,
I felt in my stomach.

Leaving me,
Gasping,
Doubled over,
As if a fetus,
Curled,
On the floor.

I drink my coffee black.

Stirring sugar into it,
Is the vision I have of you,
As we sat sipping in the morning,
And the taste of your lips,
That still lingers,
Decades later.

Cream mixed in becomes,
The liquid chocolate of your skin,
Still brings tingling to mine,
And is a memory,
That delights my eyes,
Decades later.

Decades later,
Still,
Heartache,
Heartbreak,
Hurt,
Regret.

In lament,
I drink my coffee black.

Sadly


The memories have faded,  
And with them,  
Much of the pain.  
 
As those memories faded,  
The anger,  
Why him?  
Why not me?  
Vanished,  
Wondrously,  
Completely.  
 
Bright colorful snapshots,  
Replaced by,  
A mellowed image,  
Washed out,  
Nearly lost to the fog of time,  
Grainy,  
Nearly transparent,  
Gray,  
Shadowy.  
Remembrances,  
Of what once was.  
 
Bits still survive,  
In Sepia.  
 
I held your hair back,  
While you vomited,  
Your too much beer,  
You had at the party.  
 
Walking across campus,  
My arm around your waist,  
Your hand in my back pocket.  
 
Walking in the warm spring rain,  
Soaking wet,  
Laughing,  
We were so very young.  
 
There are many,  
No longer vivid,  
Still warm me at night,  
Faded,  
Not forgotten.  
 
I thought of you,  
The other day,  
When Joanie,  
Died.  
Alone.  
Breast cancer.  
 
Your wedding was the week,  
After mine.  
Yours ended,  
Mine is dying.  
 
I Googled,  
The name,  
I knew you by;  
Nothing.  
 
I Googled,  
The name you took,  
Marrying him,  
Before divorcing him;  
Nothing.  
 
Vanished.  
 
Sadly.

Love Notes


she came across bits
of love notes
she thought had disappeared
along with him
leaving the sad echo
of his voiceless
departure
still resonating
in her heart
like the long tone
of a Tibetan chime
still clinging to
her memory