Daily battle

Pills, pills, pills...

When I feel them slide down my throat I get a pang of lust
One is never enough and 20 is never too much

Grabbing onto my thoughts and killing all the pain
Tell me Dr why do I need these again?

I have grown to love you more than anything else
I love you more than my own sick and twisted self

Who needs therapy when I have you
One more swallow to start a new

The only thing wrong with this deadly love affair
Is that I think nobody notices

I really like that poem. I can honestly relate.

Husband's Least Wanted

i've always thought of myself
as a serial monogamist
but sex is why they all went amiss

the only moments feel at home
are between hungry hands
and a greedy cock

where the predicable rhythms
hijack interloping thoughts
and desire cajoles calamity

my lust has imploded inside of me
the only place I'm moist now
are my tear washed cheeks

who am I if he doesn't want me?

this distance is suffocating
every touch is more sparse
panging with consolation

the most disgusting thing
is that I don't want to want
it anymore; but I still do

my clit aches from trying
to rub out the pain
it's inconsequential

marriage has surrendered my lust to purgatory
spite my wandering eyes for loyalty
a chaste sex-addict; the irony

Granted, Life

Mundancy, a life lived
arrogance of a mind
being more than thoughts
a will to stand,
pride in existing
shy under shadows

a pence less of a shilling
a farthing more than a penny
half mast to a full flag
yet wanting to march
with the best
and the corpulent

Shoe soled with newspapers
socks in imaginary white
in a class of shiny faces
a dull one black fringed
shines in recitals
jeered to oblivion afterwards

Looking into the candy store
Galore! So much unattained
a mansion, a Butler and maid
champagnes and caviar
granted a life, a package
all in, nothing missed.

ADDICTION ALPHABET

A is for ADDICT
I am one by far

B is for BOOZE
Blacked out in a bar.

C is for COPPING
My drug dealer's gain

D is for DOPE
Making love to my vein.

E is for EXCESS
Cuz that's how I roll

F is for FIX
My everyday goal.

G is for GRIEF
From the damage I've done

H is for HIT
Can't have just one.

I is for INGEST
Don't matter what

J is for JONESING
So sick in my gut.

K is for KILLING
The dreams I once had

L is for LOUD
That sweet weed in my bag.

M is for MORE
There is never enough

N is for NEEDLES
Man, my arm sure looks rough.

O is for OXYs
Euphoria so fine

P is for PAIN
So I'll hit one more time.

Q is for QUIT
"What are you high?"

R is for RELAPSE
Damn can I lie.

S is for STEM
My portal to hell

T is for TRICKS
Oh the things I will sell.

U is for UPPERS
Hate to be down

V is for VICIOUS
That crack that I found.

W is for WITHDRAWAL
"God please please let me die!"

X is for X-TASY
Now I'm no longer shy.

Y is for YES!
I get paid today!

Z is for Zilch
What I accomplished today.

Know I know my ABCs
God please take away this cruel disease.

I can stay high and be nothing
Or give up and be saved.
Because someone who loves me
May soon weep at my grave....

I stare at the mirror again
Keep trying to make it my friend
It just looks back at me tells me I'm wrong
Laughs at me so I laugh along

As children we play in the yard
While parents are working so hard
Then we grow older, become parents too
That yard is empty now, like me and you

I used to have hope for myself
My future those goals and my health
Then an orange bottle filled with orange pills
Replaced all that with 4 hour thrills

I wanted to feel alive
Talk to women, survive and thrive
But ironically that which once motivated
Stole my soul, left me empty and jaded

So I'm begging this mirror again
To stop being so harsh to a friend
Using my imagination is all I have left
To see a person whom I can accept

Deviance

The mind my cage of social construction
Robs me of my sight, courage and pride
Leading me to accept the existence
Beyond human normalcy
To the level just above death
The plane of deviance
Residing within this distorted manifestation
Of my afflictions and my addictions
I exist, feral to social convention
Hostile to the outstretched hand of humanity
Regression to the primal
Unwilling to flee my grotto
I foster delusions of grandeur to new heights
While anger keeps me fed
And Ignorance my concubine
Time conquers all
Except my Pandora’s Box
For now

MY LIFES A LIE

I had it gone
out of me
like a song
I set it free

without thought
I bring it back
into my mind
starts to attack

never to win
I always lose
think its gone
I light the fuse

when its here
I feel so great
when its gone
I fill with hate

I can't let go
don't know why
I say its gone
my lifes a lie

~Truthful mirror~
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all
Not you I say
Please get away
I speak tonight
To show my might
Mirror mirror On the wall
Who is the lost of them all
Not you Bitch
Go lay in a ditch
Please don't speak
Till you hit the peak
Mirror mirror
It stops me with his terror
You're ugly
So fat
And never going to be all that
So go and fly
Maybe even die
But I'll break myself
If you ask about yourself
Mirror
I'm filled with terror
Stop it please
Just kill me now do I can cease
And increased
While I become deceased

Anorexia

her name is Anorexia, she wount eat until she die,
eating nothing at all so sick it makes her cry.
not eating away from all just only left the pain.
breeding parasite prevails and leaches on her brain.

taunts her with its strength,
Decisions to be made.
Feeding on her agony, her mirrors never lie.

Stepping on the scale,
praying she loos weight.
all that this is true, her body she just hate.

Hollow eyes and cold skin
her body grew week , fragile and thin.

Anorexia is dying, she needs to take control.
but her body begans to feel dry.

to her she falls deeper in dispear
its her weight of the world.

Her eyes have lost their sparkle,
and her voice crakes and stumbles..
Thorn bushes growing choking out what little life exists,
acid and fluid slows down this pain she cant resiste.

dying, crying, falling , calling,
becouse she only tells lies.

its seems un real for this china doll.
destroying her self image.

her name is Anorexia, she wount eat until she die.
forever in her grave dryed up she will lie.

-Kumiko Yamamoto

Fabulous entries, thank you all for your contributions.
24 hours to final countdown, bumping it up..........:)  

The Mad Truth

My messy mash-up of thought-lets and actions
cloaked, but not cleansed, with a word--- "episode."
Call it what it was--- a fuckin' meltdown.

Try staying up for 3 days, running your mouth overtime
agitatedly obsessing over bullshit.
See if your family amiably absolves your "episode."

The Holy Bible of Madness--- the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders---
now in its fifth edition is definitely not the Word.
More an anthology of notes complied by a committee.

My diagnoses have grown like my arse has on Seroquel.
Dysthymia, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, until,
ta-da!, the jury returns its verdict--- Biploar Disorder, type I,
with all trimmings.
Oh, and when the two poles meet, a "mixed state,"
best watch-the-fuck-out.

A civil tongue? Sorry friend, a civil war
of brain parts has its casualties.

winter swells
 
 
The horizon bares its teeth
rip sawn by winter swells
reflections of burly point breaks
beckon the brave in howling winds
where monsters merge upon the coast
 
 
when I see the majesty of mayhem
my guts churn in rocky rips
it's adrenaline, it's fear
I know the feeling very well
and despite my fear, I'll paddle out
over mountains until the waves are rolling hills
pulsating perpetual heart beats of the sea
 
 
my pile of bones tremble out the back
beyond the breakers, far enough
where my brothers can’t see
I know they taunt me, they sense the fear
hidden away from euphoria’s reach
but there's another advantage or disadvantage
sitting out the back in my horror marinade  
 
 
when the rogue waves come crashing through
bursting over the point like a mountain of doom
I'm in the pocket to catch the demon’s wave
those waves scare the shit out of me
but I always feel this uncontrollable
impulse to catch the wall to my downfall
 
 
it's euphoria charging down
the face of those monsters
my board skimming across black water
hissing like a bolt of lightning
when I hit that bottom turn
I look up at my maker
lumbering like a dinosaur rolling in slow motion
 
 
when the wall rises higher than ocean deep
I charge the onslaught into monstrous jaws
swallowing me up in the close out
dragging me under into my watery tomb
devouring my weakness, powerless to its force
but I fight it and I hold my breath
until I think I'm going to burst
 
 
eternity subsides and I float to the surface
hauling oxygen back in my lungs
I tug at the tether to find my board
and paddle back out
for another shot of adrenaline.




Written by Alexander Case

I would like to introduce the wonderful judges on the panel and express sincere appreciation for their time, input and indispensable critique on each of their particular choices.  
.  
Ms. DarkEnchantress................Mr. Whale.................Miss Indie (Indie)


The poems submitted were outstanding making it quite difficult to award just one trophy.

Congratulations to the winners:

1. Xmar82 - Deviance
2. Atakti -  In a box
3. Miss B. Gotten - Husband's Least Wanted

Honorary mention:  Crimsin - Oceans Of Whiskey
                            Raven of sorrow - Monsters in the mirror



Thank you to all the participants making this comp a great success and an enjoyable experience.

Daily Battle,
Hell yes, not masturbation,
eventually procrastination, someday
I'll do something on time,
until then I'll battle to do
yesterdays' stuff tomorrow
Much sorrow,
I missed again
Hate, Hate, procrastinate!