Poetry competition CLOSED 29th September 2012 1:24am
WINNER
Whitewand6
Whitewand6
Heartbreak: Your take.
Now you're gone
This space was ours once
Now that you're gone
This space is not
We are apart as if universes
Chased by black holes and
The hypocrisy of matter,
See it doesn't
Now you're gone
Silence has entered
Tears have formed
Walls are talking
Eyes are closing
Light is dimming
Sleep is calling
Where are you, hollow calls
This space was ours once
Now that you're gone
This space is not
We are apart as if universes
Chased by black holes and
The hypocrisy of matter,
See it doesn't
Now you're gone
Silence has entered
Tears have formed
Walls are talking
Eyes are closing
Light is dimming
Sleep is calling
Where are you, hollow calls
'Twas Love (for all lovers)
A memory this night it swims in a teared flood
And lies upon the banks white and cold
This stream of past pictures passes up the velvet countryside
T'is celebrates love, T'is celebrates love
Seized from heaven so tears do form
This earthly world in desperate need
Snatched from the palm of love
T'was love that night, T'was love that night
Strike me Love, for no man has ever loved like this before
And then had to change his name from Eros,
'Twas the lover that has his body now cast upon the banks
His heart destroyed,His heart destroyed
A thousand breaths cannot save the dead
And the highest banks cannot stop the floods
For the lover t'was love that night,
T'was love that night
A memory this night it swims in a teared flood
And lies upon the banks white and cold
This stream of past pictures passes up the velvet countryside
T'is celebrates love, T'is celebrates love
Seized from heaven so tears do form
This earthly world in desperate need
Snatched from the palm of love
T'was love that night, T'was love that night
Strike me Love, for no man has ever loved like this before
And then had to change his name from Eros,
'Twas the lover that has his body now cast upon the banks
His heart destroyed,His heart destroyed
A thousand breaths cannot save the dead
And the highest banks cannot stop the floods
For the lover t'was love that night,
T'was love that night
A Russian Lovesong
She sits in silence mourning for her life
She sits inside watching the rain
She waits by the window
Waiting for his return from the front
She sits
She waits waits waits,
but the deafening silence
paints a picture of no return
She hopes to hear the thud of his boots
The thud of his heart
The touch of his hand on her shoulder
She hopes to hear the sound of his breath
This winter the post brought the news
The news of his death
This winter she wrote him a Russian lovesong
She waits by the window of pain, a trickle,
She watches the others embrace
Husband to wife
She waits
With wretched hands she writes her song,
As her breath stutters and trembles
She writes "of where we belong"
The empty room
The empty bed
The empty silence
She sits
She sits in silence
She sits in silence mourning for her life
She sits in silence mourning for her life
She sits inside watching the rain
She waits by the window
Waiting for his return from the front
She sits
She waits waits waits,
but the deafening silence
paints a picture of no return
She hopes to hear the thud of his boots
The thud of his heart
The touch of his hand on her shoulder
She hopes to hear the sound of his breath
This winter the post brought the news
The news of his death
This winter she wrote him a Russian lovesong
She waits by the window of pain, a trickle,
She watches the others embrace
Husband to wife
She waits
With wretched hands she writes her song,
As her breath stutters and trembles
She writes "of where we belong"
The empty room
The empty bed
The empty silence
She sits
She sits in silence
She sits in silence mourning for her life
Anonymous
At times ...
In the times
when my
heart
roars louder
than the
voices
in my head.
And my vocal
chords;
are muted
by the
memories
we share.
In the times
I see
our daughters'
smile
laugh
& sing.
I stare at
emotions with
lust-filled
craving.
Saving yet
another
mental-picture
of you.
As the
album
fills
I come to realise
I do,
I do still
love you.
-x-
Especially for Kerry.
You ask me what I have been up to. I would like to answer you honestly. "This past year I have been living half-alive."
Because I'm too old to feel like this. I'm too old to feel this desperate, this separate, from my own life and society, like a brand new toddler coming off another sugar rush his mother never intended on getting him onto, asking himself if he was the real cause of all this destruction, am I the one who wreaked all this havoc?
I'm too old to feel like this, but I'm too young to know this feeling, I'm too young to have a ghost like you!
You built me up in compliments and late-night phone calls, and I built you up in my own mind: in twisted memories and destructive regrets, and stories, with catastrophic, chaotic, endings, but now we come tumbling down from out too-tall tower of lego bricks and misplaced mistakes to the real world, where honest compliments come from true-blue best friends and potential loves and parents, and you are yourself instead of the second version that lives in my memories, the 2.0, like the modified iPhone 4s with more shit and apps and features than anybody knows what the hell do with.
And what the hell can I do with you?
He says he loves me OFTEN.
He says I'm wonderful OFTEN.
He says he thinks of me OFTEN.
But all that does is remind me, because
You said I love you OFTEN.
You said I was wonderful OFTEN.
You said you thought of me OFTEN.
But he asks me to love him often, like you never hard to, and I can't because loving him is letting you go, and I'm still not sure if I can do that, even though it's about goddamn time, and I know I should.
Because I loved you ALWAYS
And you were wonderful ALWAYS
and I think of you constantly, especially the seconds where I shouldn't.
Because you said I love you, and disappeared
You said I was wonderful, and went away
You said you thought of me often, but I could never tell, because your eyes went from oceans to blue-black holes in seconds, like the bruises on my heart that I'm sure everyone could see, that everyone can see, if you cut me open, and let me tell you, you did.
But this isn't about getting back at you. This is about the fact I could never be with you, especially because we were never together in the first place.
Do you remember when I told you we are all looking for something real, but we aren't all lucky enough to find it? It was late at night and we were feeling philosophical and I wasn't thinking straight, but I never was, with you, even thought I was right.
This shit is real, this realization is real, I am so very real and the heroes are as guilty as the villains in this tragedy, so no matter what you felt, no matter what you meant, no matter what you should have said, I'm going to believe in the dreams this time because
I can't wait around to calm your nightmares anymore.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/69538-half-alive/
Because I'm too old to feel like this. I'm too old to feel this desperate, this separate, from my own life and society, like a brand new toddler coming off another sugar rush his mother never intended on getting him onto, asking himself if he was the real cause of all this destruction, am I the one who wreaked all this havoc?
I'm too old to feel like this, but I'm too young to know this feeling, I'm too young to have a ghost like you!
You built me up in compliments and late-night phone calls, and I built you up in my own mind: in twisted memories and destructive regrets, and stories, with catastrophic, chaotic, endings, but now we come tumbling down from out too-tall tower of lego bricks and misplaced mistakes to the real world, where honest compliments come from true-blue best friends and potential loves and parents, and you are yourself instead of the second version that lives in my memories, the 2.0, like the modified iPhone 4s with more shit and apps and features than anybody knows what the hell do with.
And what the hell can I do with you?
He says he loves me OFTEN.
He says I'm wonderful OFTEN.
He says he thinks of me OFTEN.
But all that does is remind me, because
You said I love you OFTEN.
You said I was wonderful OFTEN.
You said you thought of me OFTEN.
But he asks me to love him often, like you never hard to, and I can't because loving him is letting you go, and I'm still not sure if I can do that, even though it's about goddamn time, and I know I should.
Because I loved you ALWAYS
And you were wonderful ALWAYS
and I think of you constantly, especially the seconds where I shouldn't.
Because you said I love you, and disappeared
You said I was wonderful, and went away
You said you thought of me often, but I could never tell, because your eyes went from oceans to blue-black holes in seconds, like the bruises on my heart that I'm sure everyone could see, that everyone can see, if you cut me open, and let me tell you, you did.
But this isn't about getting back at you. This is about the fact I could never be with you, especially because we were never together in the first place.
Do you remember when I told you we are all looking for something real, but we aren't all lucky enough to find it? It was late at night and we were feeling philosophical and I wasn't thinking straight, but I never was, with you, even thought I was right.
This shit is real, this realization is real, I am so very real and the heroes are as guilty as the villains in this tragedy, so no matter what you felt, no matter what you meant, no matter what you should have said, I'm going to believe in the dreams this time because
I can't wait around to calm your nightmares anymore.
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/69538-half-alive/
http://wordbiscuit.com/images/causeway.jpg
< cut like a movie >
as if a picture of my hand
taken in Texas in 1993
(on the causeway to Galveston)
could reach out
and open a door to the east coast
just wide enough
to shout through
shout anything
that might bring you back
we're all pieces now
(i want to tell you)
gray, white, black
i spend afternoons
cutting them
like a movie
and in the evening
i spread them out
our pages
our photographs and promises
thick black books of them
perfect and gone
- - -
Yvette's Lover in the Afternoon
It began like a classic romance and became a heartbreak I still feel
A young officer falling desperately in love with an older woman
We first met when I came in your antique store in Saarbrücken that rainy autumn afternoon
Hoping to brush up on some French, not to fall in love
You were simply a ginger headed vision, drinking un cafe après midi
When your pouting lips first kissed Bonjour to me
Tall, tan and elegant you were quintessential French
That teetering of aloofness and friskiness that held me captivated in the lock of your blue eyes
After many, many visits we became friends
Then one afternoon, it progressed to lovers with soft kisses and tickling moist whispers
In a way, it was my own Summer of Forty-two
Just seductively French with lots of tricks, ligature and toys
Though I was not a boy, I was still so quite naive
As it were to turn out about a great many things
Still the romance was intoxicating, the sex pure exhilaration
I came to feel love like I had never felt before and, sadly, never since
Then came the night that I wish I could forget
After dinner for two and passionate lovemaking in the shower
Hearing the door open and alarming words of a Frenchman returning home to his wife
Paralyzed in the bathroom drying off with a towel as you left unashamed to greet him
Then, after awkward introductions relegated to the guest room
Lying awake staring at the ceiling as the tears flowed
Finally getting up in the middle of night and sneaking out silently
Driving home, crushed and embarassed, realizing I had only been Yvette's lover in the afternoon
It began like a classic romance and became a heartbreak I still feel
A young officer falling desperately in love with an older woman
We first met when I came in your antique store in Saarbrücken that rainy autumn afternoon
Hoping to brush up on some French, not to fall in love
You were simply a ginger headed vision, drinking un cafe après midi
When your pouting lips first kissed Bonjour to me
Tall, tan and elegant you were quintessential French
That teetering of aloofness and friskiness that held me captivated in the lock of your blue eyes
After many, many visits we became friends
Then one afternoon, it progressed to lovers with soft kisses and tickling moist whispers
In a way, it was my own Summer of Forty-two
Just seductively French with lots of tricks, ligature and toys
Though I was not a boy, I was still so quite naive
As it were to turn out about a great many things
Still the romance was intoxicating, the sex pure exhilaration
I came to feel love like I had never felt before and, sadly, never since
Then came the night that I wish I could forget
After dinner for two and passionate lovemaking in the shower
Hearing the door open and alarming words of a Frenchman returning home to his wife
Paralyzed in the bathroom drying off with a towel as you left unashamed to greet him
Then, after awkward introductions relegated to the guest room
Lying awake staring at the ceiling as the tears flowed
Finally getting up in the middle of night and sneaking out silently
Driving home, crushed and embarassed, realizing I had only been Yvette's lover in the afternoon
my heart is shattered like glass and the cracks spell her name.
the hell fire that consume my soul shapeless and insane.
she told me i was her one and only.
i never thought her to be that phony.
you lied to me, "ohh no i dont love him anymore"
the day after the end of it i see a picture of you and him!
my heart is sore! and you have the nerve to come back?
what do i have to do to get through to you?
i dont want you! i dont love you!
i wont go back to you. i dont need you!
and i never will!
the hell fire that consume my soul shapeless and insane.
she told me i was her one and only.
i never thought her to be that phony.
you lied to me, "ohh no i dont love him anymore"
the day after the end of it i see a picture of you and him!
my heart is sore! and you have the nerve to come back?
what do i have to do to get through to you?
i dont want you! i dont love you!
i wont go back to you. i dont need you!
and i never will!
There's something so clarifying about cold
Letting it in through a bedroom window
dreary afternoon solemn and damp
I go into my bathroom,
natural light casting a shade of discontent
the sink cold as I brace myself against it
I take in two days worth of stubble
Boss complained I look unkempt
I think it's fitting to my mood
Heading to the kitchen, I put on a pot of tea
rinsing out my only mug of this mornings coffee
the boxes surrounding me begging to be unpacked
I came here to run from your memory,
I see that now, caught on pretty quick
Denial is a bliss I can't rely on
I open a box and start pulling out randoms
Catching my breath as I get to the bottom
And see a picture of sweet little you
Even in this early picture, barely three months old
I could see that you were suffering
cancer taking hold of my darling little boy
I stayed in your hospital room day and night
All those times when you were in pain
I sat beside you, my hand on your soft ashen cheek
There was a sickeningly hopeful period when you seemed to heal
Then it all came crashing down on us when the results came back
It has metastasized, you were given only three more weeks
True to the doctors word, those three weeks came up
and I cradled you in my arms as you took your last breath
taking my heart with you when you left
Letting it in through a bedroom window
dreary afternoon solemn and damp
I go into my bathroom,
natural light casting a shade of discontent
the sink cold as I brace myself against it
I take in two days worth of stubble
Boss complained I look unkempt
I think it's fitting to my mood
Heading to the kitchen, I put on a pot of tea
rinsing out my only mug of this mornings coffee
the boxes surrounding me begging to be unpacked
I came here to run from your memory,
I see that now, caught on pretty quick
Denial is a bliss I can't rely on
I open a box and start pulling out randoms
Catching my breath as I get to the bottom
And see a picture of sweet little you
Even in this early picture, barely three months old
I could see that you were suffering
cancer taking hold of my darling little boy
I stayed in your hospital room day and night
All those times when you were in pain
I sat beside you, my hand on your soft ashen cheek
There was a sickeningly hopeful period when you seemed to heal
Then it all came crashing down on us when the results came back
It has metastasized, you were given only three more weeks
True to the doctors word, those three weeks came up
and I cradled you in my arms as you took your last breath
taking my heart with you when you left
My Realisation
I let you love me so fiercely
even though the welcome mat
took it's time to reach your feet
you clawed your passion through my heart
I already bled as it burned into my core
you pushed your way past my resistance
until it gave and I opened myself up to you
You felled me and carved words into me
that spoke of hope and togetherness
love that was meant to be the real thing
and I gave my all over to you eventually
How you embraced every last drop of me
my love was so passionate and fierce
beyond any expectations you never had
Your appetite grew as I fed your hunger
you wanted me with every fibre of your being
every day in every waking breathing thought
I looked forward to you in every way I could
and you have to know that whatever life gave
no matter how complicated it got for me or us
I would never have let you go or gave up on you
because love in it's true form will survive life
when love is felt deeply and unconditionally
it would never so easily be put to one side
You let me go because your life spiralled
that is when I knew as my core knotted up
your love for me was not strong enough
as hope is lost and realisation stabs its truth
Remember all that I said to you when I resisted
and how all that I feared then is now my reality
what could have been may now never be realised
I let you love me so fiercely
even though the welcome mat
took it's time to reach your feet
you clawed your passion through my heart
I already bled as it burned into my core
you pushed your way past my resistance
until it gave and I opened myself up to you
You felled me and carved words into me
that spoke of hope and togetherness
love that was meant to be the real thing
and I gave my all over to you eventually
How you embraced every last drop of me
my love was so passionate and fierce
beyond any expectations you never had
Your appetite grew as I fed your hunger
you wanted me with every fibre of your being
every day in every waking breathing thought
I looked forward to you in every way I could
and you have to know that whatever life gave
no matter how complicated it got for me or us
I would never have let you go or gave up on you
because love in it's true form will survive life
when love is felt deeply and unconditionally
it would never so easily be put to one side
You let me go because your life spiralled
that is when I knew as my core knotted up
your love for me was not strong enough
as hope is lost and realisation stabs its truth
Remember all that I said to you when I resisted
and how all that I feared then is now my reality
what could have been may now never be realised
.:Bench Splinters from a White-Gowned Sprinter:.
http://c0170361.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/1867412_199351_e0d1812a75_p.jpg
catching a breath; me
thinking
without blinking
for certain
I had always been that
team player
I'd been her
off the bench
dragon
slayer
then
without pause
or an
obvious cause
suddenly
out of nowhere
she
benched me
here
at this
rest-stop;
a complete stop
a final drop
from all that barefoot running
the blades of grass
the warm wood
her charm it was cunning
surely
busy were the bees
& all their humming
me; and no honey
eye got
stung
she no longer vested
somehow
her interest was
arrested
locked away
perhaps sent or taken away
with me
left wondering
what now is the difference?
.
I asked for a "for-instance"
for her to tell me of
a time, a place,
a pace wherein I hadn't made her happy
hadn't
made her smile
she just stared awhile
looked at me
her eyes both saying
happy is all you'd ever be
::as for me
this rest; this stop...this
is not complete
for me
adding its been a run for fun
from one to one
the rest I gave; you took
I'm done.
.
photo: Mirah Curzer
http://c0170361.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/1867412_199351_e0d1812a75_p.jpg
catching a breath; me
thinking
without blinking
for certain
I had always been that
team player
I'd been her
off the bench
dragon
slayer
then
without pause
or an
obvious cause
suddenly
out of nowhere
she
benched me
here
at this
rest-stop;
a complete stop
a final drop
from all that barefoot running
the blades of grass
the warm wood
her charm it was cunning
surely
busy were the bees
& all their humming
me; and no honey
eye got
stung
she no longer vested
somehow
her interest was
arrested
locked away
perhaps sent or taken away
with me
left wondering
what now is the difference?
.
I asked for a "for-instance"
for her to tell me of
a time, a place,
a pace wherein I hadn't made her happy
hadn't
made her smile
she just stared awhile
looked at me
her eyes both saying
happy is all you'd ever be
::as for me
this rest; this stop...this
is not complete
for me
adding its been a run for fun
from one to one
the rest I gave; you took
I'm done.
.
photo: Mirah Curzer
Hurting (for an ex)
I've come to realize my heart
is aching in the back of my mind,
but when I saw your face it was
pushed to the center of my chest.
It shook my body.
This pain.
I saw that I was still crying,
mourning because of the loss of you.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you
what you wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted.
I'm sorry that I left myself hurting
by loving you.
I wonder at night if you have cried
over the loss of me.
But I know you haven't.
I pretend it's all okay, I smile,
I laugh, but it's all a mask.
When I see your face all that fragile
strength crumbles to the floor with
a few tears.
Your name is an acid running in my veins,
tightening my heart and making the hurt
come to me when I see you somewhere.
I wish I could just hear your voice again,
but I know that for me, you won't be there.
I'm sorry for what I couldn't do to make
you love me.
I'm sorry that I wasn't the girl you wanted
and that you couldn't bring your heart to
make those three words honest.
It's so hard to admit that I'm in pain from
saying goodbye, hard to admit I was loving
myself in walking away.
But those wise thoughts didn't stop the hurt.
I wish I could look into your eyes
and see you looking back at me.
But I know that's not reality.
And that's the worst hurt ever.
(note: this is a poem of mine I just wrote today and it felt relevant)
I've come to realize my heart
is aching in the back of my mind,
but when I saw your face it was
pushed to the center of my chest.
It shook my body.
This pain.
I saw that I was still crying,
mourning because of the loss of you.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you
what you wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted.
I'm sorry that I left myself hurting
by loving you.
I wonder at night if you have cried
over the loss of me.
But I know you haven't.
I pretend it's all okay, I smile,
I laugh, but it's all a mask.
When I see your face all that fragile
strength crumbles to the floor with
a few tears.
Your name is an acid running in my veins,
tightening my heart and making the hurt
come to me when I see you somewhere.
I wish I could just hear your voice again,
but I know that for me, you won't be there.
I'm sorry for what I couldn't do to make
you love me.
I'm sorry that I wasn't the girl you wanted
and that you couldn't bring your heart to
make those three words honest.
It's so hard to admit that I'm in pain from
saying goodbye, hard to admit I was loving
myself in walking away.
But those wise thoughts didn't stop the hurt.
I wish I could look into your eyes
and see you looking back at me.
But I know that's not reality.
And that's the worst hurt ever.
(note: this is a poem of mine I just wrote today and it felt relevant)
He got two to the chest
Yes atleast this time he'll finally rest
I hate his guts
He's always in my thoughts
I'd have done it myself but...
For other reasons
I let others do it
Now that its done
I think its time to celebrate
Call my cohorts
Pop Shampagne
This is the end of his reign
Never will he ever be seen again
With his self-righteous principles
Who cares?
Here we just take the edibles and give out the spoils
He thinks that's corrupt
I tried to make him understand
This game's not for saints
But he won't listen
Instead to hearken he argues
Sometimes he even threatens
Forgetting that when dining with the devil
You need a long spoon
Now doom's got him
As we wine and dine
Rejoicing over his demise
He resurfaces again on the news
Another miraculous revival
I collapse into the cushon
Sweating profusely
Totally confused
Why is he always coming back?
Damn it this time he really broke my heart
Yes atleast this time he'll finally rest
I hate his guts
He's always in my thoughts
I'd have done it myself but...
For other reasons
I let others do it
Now that its done
I think its time to celebrate
Call my cohorts
Pop Shampagne
This is the end of his reign
Never will he ever be seen again
With his self-righteous principles
Who cares?
Here we just take the edibles and give out the spoils
He thinks that's corrupt
I tried to make him understand
This game's not for saints
But he won't listen
Instead to hearken he argues
Sometimes he even threatens
Forgetting that when dining with the devil
You need a long spoon
Now doom's got him
As we wine and dine
Rejoicing over his demise
He resurfaces again on the news
Another miraculous revival
I collapse into the cushon
Sweating profusely
Totally confused
Why is he always coming back?
Damn it this time he really broke my heart
