Heartbreak: Your take.

In the king's English please.
Or maybe the layman's English?
Just make the thing readable and relevant to the subject.

Echoes
 

Brutally mellifluous words
barged inward.


Pulsating eruptions
terrorized my last standing wall
which i allowed to deteriorate.


A cavity was created,
littered with debris.
 
 
I did not stand a chance 
against the euphonious tune.


That charming voice
became just an echo  
between my ears.
 
 
The amorous flutters 
becoming nothing more 
than nagging birds in my stomach


Singing songs 
up through my throat
of  what could have been.

on a rain-sent summers day


did we not
on a rain-sent summer's day
sky filled with thunder
hide beneath your bolero
ground wet with rain


inquisitive man
that you were then
kissing first my eyelids
then slowly but surely
you kissed my lips
pressing your warm body
next to my own


you trespassed slowly
growing bolder
with each whimpering sound
that found it's way
up to my throat
somehow you never
noticed i was crying


did we not
discardng your damp bolero
wonder when the rain had stopped
rolling in the wet grass
your laughter filling the air
i fully realized
what i had only sensed before


it wasn't me
who filled your soul with longing
it wasn't me
who filled your heart with joy
you called me by another
woman's name more times
than i care to remember
so much for rain-sent summer days

The whisperings

My mind is all confusion.. whole new world of emotion.. intrusion
Never in my mind's eye, could see, attraction of one such as you
Never could imagine, a living soul stir my blackened heart
Is this a whole new level? Or my metamorphis into something new?
The psychology of I, as warped as the mind of a madman.

You're in my sights, I'm gazing unto you, I see fragments myself
A woman, breathes has my attention. Is this my heart's intention
Or something much more? A possessive plight for me, claim norm?
Never could've contemplated, infatuation you have cast unto me.
You've evolved over the many years, from a girl, mind of purity

To the tormented soul you've become, your journey, much like mine
Has intersected at the cross roads of time, feelings entwine
My experiences, we have much in common, I feel at ease with her
She understood harness infatuated mindset foolish man i've become
I muttered forced words, whilst my egos vex my love unconstrained

"Courtney, give yourself to me forever."

Hearing the whisperings of little wood critters, I feel something
Not knowing this feeling, I reach out for her, she turns her head
I lock into her stare, she has my full attention.. eagerly I wait
Her, tears, tumbling trickling through time, her emotions, waver
The winds, a sullen, anticipating silence

She raises her head before mine, I gaze with be-searching eyes
She has decreed her final verdict. She, for all her divinity
Have so denied to me, love capable of the healings of me in need
She scorns, her smirking grimace as vile as her beauty is divine
Casts me unto the flames, her verdict the execution

Oh that was many years ago, none would know, no, not a soul
As one is far to many, but so far in few, this love turned me
Into the beast.. have become, my love, my passion, pure in years
Has not wavered, has grown stronger with time, my insecurities
Infest, they have weakened my once so brilliant mind.

Now I am the molester of the dead, the vegan of necropolis.

My soul, has been tainted, caged, by my ego, this is false pride
Now I despise the navietie of love, and sustained to pessimism
For love I was sustained, it was the hand that fed unto me
Never again, be destined for he, his miserable hole, he resides
He may be alone, but always, atoned that comfortably numb feeling

The feeling.. of home

LIKE YESTARDAYS FLOWERS

Running now, always running,
the faster I run
the faster the past slips away.

Moments of the past are gaining;
it’s like a never ending relay race. I must run faster!!
Familiar smells and scents attack me all at once;
again the memory intrudes and intercepts my thoughts.

The past is an unforgiving mistress.
I will not submit!

I used to buy you flowers every day,
and then when the time came as it always would,
we would discard them.  

The petals would crumble in our hands like age old dust,
a petal for every minute of our shared existence.
A kaleidoscope of colours falls to the floor,
silently and undisturbed as if they were nothing,
as of now, like us, they no longer exist.

And once again I find myself running,
the memory’s ride along beside me,
all at once they attack.

Rain turns to bullets turns to broken shards of glass.
Train tracks turn to teeth,
entropy snaps at my feet like the teeth of a wild dog.
Wounds full of hurt and salt are forever my fault.

Like a heart wrapped and cooked in foil,
a soul forever in tumile.
Too many scars and too many blisters,
too many cold showers,
My love thrown away like yesterday’s flowers.

Run

I'll drink this one for my lover.  
   
I'll down a little dutch courage  
and a few white pills we can share,  
swallowing one for the memories  
maybe two for the road,  
perhaps three for the load  
I know I will bare  
   
and I'm fuelled by words   
that have broken my heart  
a thousand times over,  
I wanted to be young   
(and dumb)  
just once in my life;  
I wanted to run without a single care  
   
in the world.  
   
Because I've run out of fucks and money  
and I'm a poor, raw substitute  
grieving for a life I no longer desire;  
I make love to him to douse the fire  
which only serves as a go between  
as I lie in the bitter dark,  
used up and fading  
as he moans my name  
and I am desperate to scream  
   
yours  
   
like some post ironic whore  
who desires the desecration  
but not the sensation  
of another's warm body   
against her betraying skin,  
the inches stabbing wildly  
while I beg for an exit sign  
   
always begging, baby.   
   
Always.   
   
I wanted to burn freely  
with ecstasy on our tongues,  
I wanted your body to crush me  
under the weight of a European sky  
and I didn't want to question why   
   
I was happy  
to be lost  
and eloquently found  
   
in you  
 

My Goodbye Lullaby


You said you loved me
So  what changed?
You were my everything
The only reason I got up in the morning
I loved you
Yet you put me through so much hell
You were the one who made me cry
All your words are full of lies
I trusted you
Believed everything you said to me
But you went behind my back
Yet in your lies there was truth
You know I'll never love you like I used to
But I will remember you
You were my first love
You were mine
As I was yours
Yet you were ashamed
Embarrassed
You denied it
But we both knew your friends meant more to you than I ever would
Cause baby can't you see were just a fantasy
You were funny
Cute
Way to cocky for your own good
But I liked it
We were the same in many ways
We both had a twisted sense of humour
We both loved guns and explosives
We were both daring and adventurous
Always up for something new
Both sporty
Both total seeds
I miss you
Yet you will never know
I told you I was over you as you were clearly over me
I miss the way you used to hold me
Grab me around the waist and hold me tight
Call me beautiful
Call me yours
Say we were perfect together
That you never wanted to let me go
Yeah
That worked out great
I miss your lips against mine
I miss your little quirks and imperfections
You werent perfect
But neither was I
I miss the person I was when I was with you
You used to be the one who made me happy
You used to be the one who made me
But now your as cold as ice
Lucky to even spare a glance in my direction
To even talk to me
I still love you
I hate myself for it
But I still do
But the years that I've wasted is nothing to the tears that I've tasted
I will never forget you never ever
There will always be a place for you somewhere inside my heart
………………

"Mistress Heroin"

She who dared to not believe,
In a man who could upperhand,
Met He who searched everlasting,
For a woman who understands.

He was everything that She was not,
Though she was something special in herself.
He was tough and true, but justified,
Not a monster,she could tell.

And she was sharp and innocent,
In a way he didn't understand.
Though she had beenloved by many boys,
She had never been touched by a man.

Together they made magic,
And moved mountians in their way.
They never bothered arguing,
Since both knew what the other would say.

Though still learning life,
Both could work for their meals.
And bothh ad dated before,
And agreed this was real.

Upon their private fairytale,
She crept up, drenched in sin.
To another's lover, did She come,
...Mistress Heroin.

His eyes are what she took away first,
She made them dull and still.
He closed them often in her embrace,
So their green beauty did She steal.

His skin so tan and clear and fresh,
Now breaks apart in scabs.
She makes him see ugly things on his face,
And crawling up and down his hand.

She took his Love then, cold and pure,
He found erotic charm in her tarry black.
She showed him a rush nobody could top,
And he cried, there was no going back.

She made his mind weak, so he angered too quick,
And hurt his True Love with his fist.
But she loved him so, she promised not to go,
As long as he promised to quit.

But still in the night he left their bed,
To find her darkened touch.
The girl woke often to find herself alone,
But had honestly expected as much.

She left behind the man she loved,
And didn't envy whoever should take him.
For she loved a man who was all of a man,
And now one side of him is vacant.

His strong toned arms, that held her close,
Now tell her openly He'll never win.
For her finerprints are pressed inside his arm,
....Mistress Heroin.

Rejected Assauge

Hostile colloquy
Go away
Save your apologies
I don't want to see your face
I'm leaving you can stay
If I had a nickel for your mistakes
I couldn't breath
I'd be crushed from all the weight
And I feel like that now
It's gotten better cause' I left you and found another person who can really hold me down
Teaching me love
All that guilt is really eating you up
And that's the only reason why you keep in touch
You want to make it nice
I'm not allowing you to make things right
I'd rather let the phone ring all night
You say I'm resentful
We know the truth cause' you're the one with the issue
What kind of lover tries their best to work against you?
Now that it's done
Now you've destroyed the sacred bond
Say that you're sorry but you apologize for fun
I'm a good enough person to forgive but not forget
Just know that is it
We tried but you couldn't stay legit

                      When Love Is Gone
When love is gone.
What do you do when wanting to see that face, that haunts you in your sleep, is no longer there when you open your eyes in the morning?
What do you do?

And what of the memory of his hot breath wafting across your shoulder, like a smoldering kiss?
Or the absent of his scent, that use to be so prevalent in the sheets, what do you do?

Tell me, how do you get over not hearing his voice that vibrates you from within, the very tuning fork to your soul?

I don’t know what to do with this longing in my loins, from the lack of not having our morning sex, that has become a real physical pain.

What do you do when love is gone and you can't contain the longing and the pain.

Can someone please tell me, what to do when love is gone?

                 I'm Weak
I’m weak;
The scent of man is all I’ve ever known.
And I can’t stand to be alone

When I touch myself, I think of only you,
When others touch me, I do too.

By lust, I feel no shame,
I invite strangers to my bed
To feast, upon my dark berry nectar

Underneath my skin your prints sting
Where their lustful hands search,
but can never find to soothe.
Unsatisfied, I seek others in hope
They’ll find and quench this throb of mine.

I want to feel them creep inside me
To silent this cry beneath my very skin
I want to experience peace
From my want of you in sin

 
When hunger for you prevails
This body isn’t faithful
When the temple of my desire
Leaves me with nothing
I’m left flawed
helpless and needy
 

So yes, I’m weak
The scent of you is all I’ve ever known
I’m no good alone
so I go creeping away from home.

"beyond the aches of a mere heart"


whether
you believe in a soul

or not

there is a time
where life's luster
can lack enough

to make you mourn
it's loss

Goodbye Sweetness

Its not funny, Though it is
The person your trying to help shows you the bliss,
So your thrown again into a flurry of trips,
Visual aids to make your coming day a lot more painful.
It's not sad, It's egregious, sarcastic, It's a joke.
It's always a joke, I know when I hear a joke,
But I didn't laugh,
Stricken by the memories of the one girl I fell for.
It makes me weak, Helpless and worn,
Her bleeding heart, Upon me, Scorn's.
Dead to emotion, Black as night,
This heart died that day, In spite,
Like a tired old man, To die, Pleads,
How can I see you when you cannot see me?
I loved you once, More than I hated myself,
But you let me go, You'd rather be with someone else.

Now you come back saying you wanna be friends,
But I don't see why you'd come right back to me.
You're not that desperate, You never were,
I don't love you anymore, You're as good as dead to me,
Demons of my past feeding off my misery,
I've stopped running from you,
I don't see you anymore than you see me,
I've blinded myself to all your trickery,
You reached into my heart and ripped it apart,
I will never heal, Never again from your explicit art.

The ambiguity of you, Has scarred me forever,
Change is something I fear now,
Its been too long,
I've forgotten the taste of your lips,
The soft and wet of your tongue,
The smooth of your back,
The bite of your teeth,
And the edge of your nails,
I miss you, But I hate you enough to not.
Ridden with guilt and sadness, I sulked in silence,
Regretting something I never wanted,
You were still on my mind.
The blur of my spontaneous life wouldn't let you go,
A hundred girls later you were still fresh in my mind.
But now I'm in love again. And I can't have her.
She wont see me and it pains me to let her go.
You have faded away.
I feel you no more.


http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/39507-goodbye-sweetness/