Worst feeling

This is about the worst thing that has ever happened to you and what feeling went along with it. This is about something real and not someone else all you.
Try and make it long if possible, they are more emotionful if they are long.
Take your time and get all feeling out there.
I would not want any re-posts, or someone else work.
Im giving you guys one month,
good luck
let the feelings flow.
I hope you are all going to enjoy this!

The Illusion of the Labyrinth


The feeling within is
Ripping me to shreds
My heart is bleeding and corroding
With your mixed signals and signs
Those many years ago
You don’t even have a clue
How much it still affects my soul

The many years you teased
But at a distance and always saying no
At the same time of putting yourself in my face
And when I fell for you
You simply upped the dosage
Full well knowing what it was doing to me

To this day you act as if it never occurred
That we were always friends
Never anything between us
Like ripping me to shreds and forgetting you did
Such an allure you held on me yet you kept stabbing
Ripping me away and causing a suicide
And even then you still kept going

Day in day out I still blame thyself
For not seeing past your illusion your sick “game”
You told me to figure out the labyrinth and I tried
And this day I realize it’s many things
Love, Life, and Hope
All of which are the falsehood
Created by the illusion of the labyrinth

You left me with a life in hell
Tears gone for they have all dried
Cause I’ve already shed enough for a lifetime
For the suffering you put me through
Even my subconscious soul is still afflicted
I still can’t love can’t trust can’t feel anything
But either the numbness or the pain you bestowed upon me
Those years ago

I loved you then yet I don’t know the feeling now
All that’s left is the dark pain from it all
Everyday I curse myself for being so blind
To your game and to your lies the illusion you built
It was obvious to one with common sense
Yet I was lost in my own head
Lost between love and the reaper

So now I lay here tonight within this dark fury
A blackened aura surrounding my soul
As ice runs through my veins and fire burns my flesh
The suffering of the memories is still potent
I still feel the pure pain I felt when it grew to physical collapse
And I don’t know how much longer I can last

The worst feeling i've felt was probably heatbreak.
Most people know how it feels, but not as bad as me.
Others, maybe yes and maybe no.
But i was really in love with this guy.
I met him at my church at a lock-in.
We talked, from 12:00am to 7:00am when i had to leave.
I got his number and we talked from the time i left till i got home.
We talked until i accidently fell asleep around noon but as soon as i woke up
i checked my cellphone and texted him back.
Everyday, for, ohhhh, three months i texted him everyday.
I was seriously in love with him and wanted to make this work, even if he lived in Georgia
And i lived in South Carolina.
He didn't always respond but i never thought anything was up.
For, about one and a half month i was insanly happy.
We weren't actually dating because he said we should wait until highschool.
I completely agreed just happy that he would give us a chance.

Guys had never really liked me before, besides being used for a bet or set up
and nothing like that ever worked and only made me sadder.
Well The guy i fell in love with made me happy no matter what really
Nothing could ruin my mood and i was always happy until one day..

I had just texted him and was waiting for him to respond.
When he finally did i could tell something was wrong.
He told me that we would never work out. That he wouldn't
even give us a chance. He had made my life so great because
he just did and he made everything come crashing down in one second.
I was hurt and burst out crying. I hadn't cried in forever but i couldn't stop
crying then. I begged him to not do this but he wouldn't listen.

He said he was doing this to help me, to protect me.
I argued with him against but he never listened to me.
After that he completely ignored me.
He would never text me back and i was desperate.
I knew some of his friends and asked them to talk to him
but that didn't really work.
I hadn't talked to him in a year when i found out that my church was
having another lock-in, and that he was going to be there.

I was happy,
and worried.
I was nervous that he would look at me in disgust.
or that he wouldn't even notice me.
When i saw him, he acted like everything was fine.
He didn't even seem to care how much pain and sorrow he
put me through. He acted like i had never told him i loved
him and it seemed like he had erased me from his memories.

Worst feeling

Loving him
Pining for him
Getting poo-faced drunk
and still loving him

Loving him
wanting him
Losing him
to another woman

Crying for him
Laying in the gloom
lost in daydream
in a padded room

worst feeling
is just a feeling
inside this body
of a none-entity

   Another Sunday

'A sip of bitter coffee
And a bite of ebony truffle
Dark chocolate it is
Made from unprocessed Cocoa of
South American rain forests
Evergreen Amazonia may be-
Full of anti-oxidants
That would see me smiling at sixty-eight
With no teeth, of course
From too much of these-chocolates
And a lifetime of bad oral hygeine
Low Fluroide in my tooth paste
But how do I tell them
I am just brand loyal
A slave of celebrity marketing
I just use the bright red tooth paste
Endorsed by my wet dream queen
But now- the contractual deal of the beefcake
He flashes his smile that could kill
And I am just...
Idolizing my role model
Of course unlike my idol's
perfect set of gleaming white teeth
Mine are yellow-caffeine and nicotine-stained
But I no longer abuse my health
I walk and laugh and control my breathing
I wish to live long and see the world
I sit in malls and order super food
Low fat, low calory, no sugar
Black, bland, bitter but nutritious
I read success stories of Millionaires
And books telling me ancient secrets
I follow eight fold paths to success
Amd emulate highly effective people
I donate money to the needy
And I think I 've done my bit
Though at times I wonder
If really my contribution's reached
The real destination-the far end
And not some third party employee
Who has bought from this mall
A couple of 'Bad religion' denims
To feel good about himself
A sense of recognition and success
But that's alright- my heart tells me so
Another gulp of black coffee
And my eyes wander to the LCD moniter
Showcasing paid infomercials
A bunch of peppy, bright clothed people
giggle and angle their faces for better close ups
All living their dreams
Of being on closed circuit TV
I lip sync my words of encouragement
'Smile, for you are being broadcasted..'
'Smile, my dear friends cause you are on Tee-vee!'
Smile your scars of endless joy
And hide your worry and spots
Left behind by Acute acne vulgaris
Partially removed by modern laser therapy
The money for which you got by working
Yes! Selling sex toys to lonely men
Trans-Atlantic and a universe away, figuratively
It's a small world really and I know it
Cause I used to sell those too
And get my shipments of Playboys
Lonely me, lonely you, lonely us
Lonely planet this is, this place, world
Thank god! Plastation and shopping malls
Or else We all would be mauled
By this screaming, yawning isolation
But we are all safe and good, really!
I order another coffee by a raised index
I am a regular here, an acute loner
With gym and Adult friend finder memberships
I am in my late twenties
And I like to sip coffee and stare
At nothing in particular on sunday afternoons
Till the sun goes into hiding
And it's another week,a new day
Ctrl and Alt and delete..Hear the tone."

   It is to feel nothing. I tried to commit suicide 3 years ago. I was in a coma for 2 weeks. I came to and it was like everything was taken from me. I had no relief that I was still alive or that I wasn't dead. I wasn't glad to see anybody nor did miss anyone.
   Since then it has taken alot work and theropy to get me to feel something's. Most thoughts of so called feelings are feeble attempts of what should be real feelings. Yesterday someone replied back to me and it actully touched a feeling that has been dead since my almost successful suicide. I could never thank her enough. Their are no words that can come close to what she has done to me. I know we all have one thing in common; we're all on the same site. We all have deep thoughts. It's the ones closer to heart that I have issues with!

Clang went the gates
'get used to it'
the warden spat.
stared at the wall for
an hour or two
and then worked
up courage,
and more
courage.
In a second
that seemed like
forever
I said hello
to the other

inmates.

Breakdown to the flood

i came in from the cold
and sat beside Love's lonely fire
everyone has a dream
that they wish went even higher
i hide away from fire
and the flames that burn
if i stay
then how am i supposed to learn?
i can't see what goes on behind closed doors
i'm beaten off track
i'm always taken for a ride
and a return journey thats always coming back
it's the one i love that hurts
i find it so hard to believe
that my pain is the fuel
why bite the hand that feeds?
i thought he could take me higher
but he always brought me down
i try to settle
but there is never any peace found
why is love this painful?
you think someone would care
but we humans are blind
and this game that's called life isn't fair
now i come in from the cold
holding a different wire
holding on more to love
and warming to a different fire
your chasing
i can't look behind, just run
but you caught another
your winning but your not the lucky one

Love is the slowest suicide. I feel you; I could let you in and take me. To feel all of the cold you have to share it with mine. to ease the pain that you have. To let a little light in: enough to see tomorrow. To leave the grave and leave those decaying memories. To consume me fill me with your soul. Make me yours. Ease my pain. The light is only their for the dark to rest. For those who can not love the beauty of your mind... They can go fuck themselves!

TRUST NO ONE

children are taught not to trust strangers,
but it's those who are closest who are the real danger.
those i've called family and those i've called friends
i no longer do because i know what they did.
and no one believes me, they think i'm insane.
no one believes those men are that way.
but i remember crying, i remember being afraid,
i remember waking up sore as proof of my pain,
and i remember trying to wash it away.
but no soap can cleanse the stain left on me.
it is permanently ingrained in my memory.
i'm still fucked up and i'm still afraid.
i still think about it damn near every day,
but never again will i speak their names.
i blame myself for what happened to me
and i blame myself for the others i know there will be
because i'm not able to FUCKING SPEAK!

it was like cutting a loaf of bread
with a butter knife

a lot of overcoming processes are

it's not a new analogy

but fuck, I miss you

He's a sad sadistic fuck.
He wanted me groveling at his feet.

Bitch! Do this, do that!
You didn't do it right!

Shoved down stairs,
and thrown into corners.

Fuck this. Fuck you,
you vile disgusting monster.

I left it all behind,
and then you found me.

Catching me in my dreams.
You were always a cheater.

God! Go away!
I hateyou!

I wish you would die.
So now you're gonna go and try?

Slashed your wrists?
I don't care. Not anymore.

Broken dreams? Ha.
They can be rebuilt.

Broken mind? Fuck off.
I'm stronger than ever.

My Desperate Town     (SP Summerscales)

I found a hair clip today
tears refill an old
windy bay
I'm alone so cold
no longer can I hold
the morning of a new day .

The time we spent
has left to bigger dent
the feelings left behind
your smile and laugh
of its own kind
you moved the matter
the cells of a scatter
that make up my
shattered mind
of a no better .

We sit together
frozen in pictures
coats of leather
laughing in stitches .

The earth unkind
buries me to hellish heights
all the kings charge and remind
me of the gone knights .

As the bird flies
I rub my hydrated eyes
please god give me
a pleasant  surprise .
bring Natalie back
and light up the down
to replace the black
of my desperate town .