Misery, suffering, despair, loneliness.

In the night so cold and hollow,
Where her heart now aches and moans,
She escaped, but cannot follow
Joy, for sorrow chills her bones.

A soldier’s touch, a desperate plea,
For freedom's breath, a heavy cost,
His eyes of steel, his grip on she,
In that moment, innocence lost.

Hallelujah, but it haunts her,
In the darkness, in her dreams,
Traded soul for fleeting safety,
Now torn apart by silent screams.

She ran from fire, smoke, and death,
Left behind a world in flames,
Each breath she took, a stolen breath,
Echoes of their whispered names.

Hallelujah, grief consumes her,
For the ones who could not flee,
Their faces haunt the shadows, see,
In her heart, their memory.

In the silence, she hears cries,
From the ashes, from the past,
How can she face the morning skies,
When their shadows are so vast?

Hallelujah, nights are endless,
Haunted by the choice she made,
Freedom’s price, a debt so senseless,
In her heart, a blade’s cruel blade.

How can she live with what she's done,
Traded body for escape,
While her kin beneath the sun,
Perished, left to their cruel fate?

Hallelujah, shame does bind her,
In this lonely, darkened place,
Freedom’s cost, it does remind her,
Of the price and of her disgrace.

In the twilight of her sorrow,
Where the past and future blend,
No solace found, no bright tomorrow,
Only grief that will not end.

Hallelujah, shadows whisper,
In the night where dreams have died,
Once was hope that held her closer,
Now she's lost, in shame she hides.

days are blending into one again
the pattern is coming back
the rotting in bed
not eating enough or too much
pushing everyone away
its all here once again
suffer in silence
as you watch people drift away from you
the red is dripping but you cant tell anyone
feeling lost
whats the point?
days pass by you in a second
who are you?
you wish you had someone
act like you dont care when it bothers you most
try to end it all but fail
take as many pills as you can
yet still no one cares enough
you’ll never be an option
sob on the bathroom floors as everything physically hurts
your heart feels heavy
but who gives a damn
you’re mentally exhausted
but at least music temporarily fills the hole
but somehow learn
to try for yourself because in the end, thats all you have.