FEAR

The park tunnel was long enough
to lose peripheral vision,
it dripped even in dry weather.
Sometimes I would sit in the shadows
watching kids run like bumper cars
sparking fear onto blackened bricks.
 
I was learning.
 
A test for the playground huddle.
Have you heard?
when we leave at four the Green Jackets
will be waiting by the bridge before the park,
its winter, it will be dark.
There was this girl walking home,
on her own.
Four of them jumped her.
“What did they do, what did they do?”
They stripped her and carved Green Jackets
on her back with a razor blade.
 
Children spun like sycamore seeds,
their coats twirling held only by the hoods,
a tribal chant began.
 
The Green Jackets are coming,
the Green Jackets are coming,
 
Through every class room at every age,
the story spread like falling dominoes,
tears where beating snot bubbles to lips.
By four o’clock the police where there
guiding panic stricken children
through school gates that creaked
with laughter in the wind.
 
I have grown.
 
You're weak, needy and vulnerable,
safe behind your screens,
pickings for someone as well schooled as me
in telling you what to dream.
 
Reaching out down copper wires,
I can listen through a billion phones,
watch you through your webcam
uncensored, unchecked and unconstrained.
 
I can sell you God in the morning
and whiten your smile in the afternoon,
I can make you drool.
control any gullible fool who still believes,
the Green Jackets are on their way.

The time has come, here and now
No choice remains, you must go  
Darkness has fallen, delay no more!  
Tonight you dance with demons  
  
The hall is at capacity, every monster  
impatiently waiting- honored guest    
You indescribable, exquisite mortal,  
dance like your soul depends upon it  
   
They will try to force you to submit
these tempting devils you dance with  
offering to end your pain, right this instant  
Surrender sweetly, darling... just let go  
   
Move lightly, don’t miss a step  
stay with the beat, keep smiling  
Little time remains, make the call  
You haven’t been trapped just yet  
   
Bells toll the hour, it is Midnight!  
Cries start to rise above the music  
Dancers whirl in frenzied abandon  
making this your final chance to escape  
   
Music shrieks, hands of demonic dancers  
clawing clothing to shred, tear at fragile skin  
Malevolent grins leer at you in triumph,  
now caught by an arm around your neck  
   
Surrounded, pressed in with no quarter    
freedom seems fantastic, too far away  
Your last swan song, going down fighting    
screaming, wailing until you suffocate  
   
The hall shakes, chandeliers fall, walls crack  
hellions hurrying to exit but are trapped    
There is no way out, to escape the cries    
stemming from your heart, sacred holy soul  
   
Your throat is raw, tear-choked, silent  
as hideous fiends fall to their knees  
Clutching the last gasps of miserable lives  
before falling lifeless to the dance floor  
   
Silence falls over everything, achingly peaceful  
The doors to the hall open, you are now free  
Battered, bloody, you lift your tattered skirts,  
walking through the opened doors into the sun  
   
You have escaped Hell - a feat beyond description  
Dancing with demons, you'd all but given up hope  
Near surrender, barely escaping eternity in Hell  
Nothing is freer than a cry from a broken soul

Fear is the unraveler
Undoer of all things
The impediment to happiness
And perverter of the senses

Fear is a binding
Felt in your chest in a night
As dark and slick as ink
Enveloping you in yourself

Fear cripples
And dismays
It is a parasite that burrows
Deep within your psyche

But when you chase it
And finally grasp the wretched thing
It cowers and shifts
And takes on a new form

And so the struggle renews itself
Isn’t that beautiful?

 
I do not fear harm to my physical being,
But rather for my state of mind,
I fear the heart ache and loneliness,
That the fates will take what is mine.
I do not fear discomfort to this body,
But the agony of taking my affection,
For a brush with death is one too many,
As I dread a long and endless abjection.
I do not fear death for it’s inevitable,
But I do fear it for taking the one I love,
For when there are signs and forebodings,
I fear a punishment is coming from above.
Yes, I may be selfish and egotistical,
But I want to grow old with my mate,
For I fear the ages of being alone,
I would rather trade places with fate.