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Bad Sex
DevilsChild
8
Joined 10th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 121
Tyrant of Words


Forum Posts: 121
Poetry Contest Description
Write a poem about bad sex
Write a poem about bad sex. Could be old, new, funny, serious, angry, even loving.
I will read all who submit and will vote on my favorite.
Good luck š
I will read all who submit and will vote on my favorite.
Good luck š
dejure
vick
Forum Posts: 2880
vick
Dangerous Mind
29
Joined 17th Aug 2015 
Forum Posts: 2880
Related submission no longer exists.
wallyroo92
160
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1917
Tyrant of Words


Forum Posts: 1917
Savagery
Enough with the jokes and the riddles,
Iāve been dying to get into your middle now itās my time to dine,
Iāll make you mine when I play you like a fiddle,
Iāve made you laugh but now youāre about to cry.
Youāll feel this girth
Like youāre about to give birth to the earth
ā¦and henceforth
When I nut up in your butt youāll strut like a slut,
You may want to rebut but Iāll tell you to shut up
Because this, is my fantasy.
Oh this will be long!
The directorās uncut,
This version is full of perversion, smut and depravity,
With so much viciousness and savagery,
Youāll think itās a parody.
No it wonāt hurt,
By the end youāll jerk with a smirk
Because with great effort Iāll work and exert till you spurt,
Then Iāll tell you to push and youāll squirt,
When you get that feeling that youāre out of breath,
Itāll be the little death,
It means youāre about to come,
Donāt worry, no need to call 9-1-1
Wait!
Never mind,
Iām finished,
I am done.
That was only two minutes?
Enough with the jokes and the riddles,
Iāve been dying to get into your middle now itās my time to dine,
Iāll make you mine when I play you like a fiddle,
Iāve made you laugh but now youāre about to cry.
Youāll feel this girth
Like youāre about to give birth to the earth
ā¦and henceforth
When I nut up in your butt youāll strut like a slut,
You may want to rebut but Iāll tell you to shut up
Because this, is my fantasy.
Oh this will be long!
The directorās uncut,
This version is full of perversion, smut and depravity,
With so much viciousness and savagery,
Youāll think itās a parody.
No it wonāt hurt,
By the end youāll jerk with a smirk
Because with great effort Iāll work and exert till you spurt,
Then Iāll tell you to push and youāll squirt,
When you get that feeling that youāre out of breath,
Itāll be the little death,
It means youāre about to come,
Donāt worry, no need to call 9-1-1
Wait!
Never mind,
Iām finished,
I am done.
That was only two minutes?
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Forum Posts: 371
Reggie
Fire of Insight
29
Joined 13th May 2018
Forum Posts: 371
kwaofelix
Joined 19th Nov 2018
Forum Posts: 2
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 2
cool one
SatInUGal
Kumar
25
Joined 31st Dec 2015
Forum Posts: 951
Kumar
Dangerous Mind


Forum Posts: 951
INUNDATED
Dear ____________ ,
First, as always
I am flattered
By your invitation.
The sensation of you
On hands, lips and tongue
Is intoxicating.
Drunk, I stagger and flail
To give you what you ask me for-
Trying to swim, I forget how and drown.
Lungs full of water,
Eyes open at the sky
I lie afraid beside your pool of deep, deep love.
Attempting to keep eye contact
As the sky becomes you, too...
I drown anew.
So forgive me, paralyzed as I am,
For not knowing when
Our bodies may entangle again...
...With regard to your accounting question,
Seeing as it is tax season
And I am inundated,
I would prefer
That it wait until
After October 15th.
Thank you for understanding,
Kumar
First, as always
I am flattered
By your invitation.
The sensation of you
On hands, lips and tongue
Is intoxicating.
Drunk, I stagger and flail
To give you what you ask me for-
Trying to swim, I forget how and drown.
Lungs full of water,
Eyes open at the sky
I lie afraid beside your pool of deep, deep love.
Attempting to keep eye contact
As the sky becomes you, too...
I drown anew.
So forgive me, paralyzed as I am,
For not knowing when
Our bodies may entangle again...
...With regard to your accounting question,
Seeing as it is tax season
And I am inundated,
I would prefer
That it wait until
After October 15th.
Thank you for understanding,
Kumar
Written by SatInUGal
(Kumar)
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Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
154
Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 5134
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words


Forum Posts: 5134
Bad Sex
( a Quatern )
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
When drinkingās used to pull something funny.
The times when a lover was down and out,
Made sense, no trip to buy booze, no money.
But that makes no sense to bed with a bum.
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
An exB/Fās chum who reeked of cheap rum,
Took all of my change, said Iād do without.
Fellatio was like bones of a trout
From lovers who had no head for hygiene.
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
The mimics who smelled like āO de Latrineā
& men wearing diapers oh God knows when,
The faith shown to me was almost devout.
Iām out of fingers & toes, two times ten,
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count.
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
When drinkingās used to pull something funny.
The times when a lover was down and out,
Made sense, no trip to buy booze, no money.
But that makes no sense to bed with a bum.
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
An exB/Fās chum who reeked of cheap rum,
Took all of my change, said Iād do without.
Fellatio was like bones of a trout
From lovers who had no head for hygiene.
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count
The mimics who smelled like āO de Latrineā
& men wearing diapers oh God knows when,
The faith shown to me was almost devout.
Iām out of fingers & toes, two times ten,
Iāve never had bad sex, unless I count.
Written by Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
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snugglebuck
77
Joined 3rd Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 1873
Dangerous Mind


Forum Posts: 1873
Atheists are Lousy Lays
Her axiom was atheism
She proved it in the bedroom
Automated and unimaginative
She conveyed no passion
Afterwards she complained
That I, like all other men
Had failed to give her
A deep meaningful orgasm
I suggested she abandon
Her skeptical nihilism
And make a conversion
To a spiritual perversion
For it is written in the sacred Kama Sutra
"If you ain't got soul
You cannot
Rock & Roll!"
And she'd never be able
To scream in unbridled ecstasy
"Oh Jesus...Jesus...Jesus Christ Almighty!"
Besides, instead of blaming men
For being so bad in bed
I suggested
She might try moving her hips instead
She proved it in the bedroom
Automated and unimaginative
She conveyed no passion
Afterwards she complained
That I, like all other men
Had failed to give her
A deep meaningful orgasm
I suggested she abandon
Her skeptical nihilism
And make a conversion
To a spiritual perversion
For it is written in the sacred Kama Sutra
"If you ain't got soul
You cannot
Rock & Roll!"
And she'd never be able
To scream in unbridled ecstasy
"Oh Jesus...Jesus...Jesus Christ Almighty!"
Besides, instead of blaming men
For being so bad in bed
I suggested
She might try moving her hips instead
Written by snugglebuck
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DevilsChild
8
Joined 10th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 121
Tyrant of Words


Forum Posts: 121
Thank you everyone who has submitted so far. Some great reads š.
snugglebuck: I like your worm pic lol. Totally how I feel about some people.
snugglebuck: I like your worm pic lol. Totally how I feel about some people.
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Forum Posts: 371
Reggie
Fire of Insight
29
Joined 13th May 2018
Forum Posts: 371
DC,
Is there a limit on the number of entries per poet?
Is there a limit on the number of entries per poet?

Related submission no longer exists.
LunasChild8
21
Joined 27th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 540
Dangerous Mind


Forum Posts: 540
Bad Lay
Honeyed words flatter my heart
And Iām genuinely touched by your sincerity
I thought that I could love you back
Yet reality didnāt meet my expectations
The timing was wrong, yet I went along with it anyways
I thought passion would warm my blood eventually
Yet I didnāt feel the spark of desire between my legs
Even with your tongue licking my nectar
You pushed yourself in too early
I wasnāt aroused enough to receive you
Instead of pleasure, I felt discomfort
And disappointment filled me even as you shuddered in pleasure
Still, I let you move, thinking that itāll set off something within me too
Your kisses didnāt leave a trail of fire on my skin
Bitterness and discomfort were the dominating sensations
Iāve had enough, and I told you to pull out
You were surprised, and I quickly left before I could see more
A shower is in call to wash off the sweat
And I know that Iāll find my release by myself.
And Iām genuinely touched by your sincerity
I thought that I could love you back
Yet reality didnāt meet my expectations
The timing was wrong, yet I went along with it anyways
I thought passion would warm my blood eventually
Yet I didnāt feel the spark of desire between my legs
Even with your tongue licking my nectar
You pushed yourself in too early
I wasnāt aroused enough to receive you
Instead of pleasure, I felt discomfort
And disappointment filled me even as you shuddered in pleasure
Still, I let you move, thinking that itāll set off something within me too
Your kisses didnāt leave a trail of fire on my skin
Bitterness and discomfort were the dominating sensations
Iāve had enough, and I told you to pull out
You were surprised, and I quickly left before I could see more
A shower is in call to wash off the sweat
And I know that Iāll find my release by myself.
Written by LunasChild8
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David_Macleod
14397816
39
Joined 5th Nov 2014
Forum Posts: 2983
14397816
Tyrant of Words


Forum Posts: 2983
20 Dollars for a Fuck?
She said:
āI love you long timeā
My imaginings sublime
āI love you too muchā
There was no way sheād go Dutch
āI loving you sucky, fuckyā
I wanted to get down and mucky
She asked me āyou parry?ā
Like a sexual cash and carry
She said ātwenty dolla?ā
I had to loosen my collar
She didnāt, but I knew
āI was not too beaucoupā
I thought āfor that kinda money
You can keep your risky honeyā
Iāll masturbate vigorously to my favorite porn
And order a pepperoni pizza āhold the sweet cornā
I would still have enough change left over
To get enough vodka for that earned hangover
That would wash away thoughts of regret
But you pays your money and get what you get
An orgasm, a pizza, and lots of vodka tonic
And the use of sexual toys, stimulation electronic
And all for twenty bucks
So I donāt give twenty fucks
About the hooker on offer
Iād rather do the other
More to enjoy, more of a bargain
And I donāt have to listen to Vietnamese jargon
She walked away angry I wouldnāt employ
āYou are queer man, you are ladyboyā
Her ass wiggle in the wank bank
Iām going home to give it a yank
Free from worries about my sexual health
Iāll get what I need and party by myself
āI love you long timeā
My imaginings sublime
āI love you too muchā
There was no way sheād go Dutch
āI loving you sucky, fuckyā
I wanted to get down and mucky
She asked me āyou parry?ā
Like a sexual cash and carry
She said ātwenty dolla?ā
I had to loosen my collar
She didnāt, but I knew
āI was not too beaucoupā
I thought āfor that kinda money
You can keep your risky honeyā
Iāll masturbate vigorously to my favorite porn
And order a pepperoni pizza āhold the sweet cornā
I would still have enough change left over
To get enough vodka for that earned hangover
That would wash away thoughts of regret
But you pays your money and get what you get
An orgasm, a pizza, and lots of vodka tonic
And the use of sexual toys, stimulation electronic
And all for twenty bucks
So I donāt give twenty fucks
About the hooker on offer
Iād rather do the other
More to enjoy, more of a bargain
And I donāt have to listen to Vietnamese jargon
She walked away angry I wouldnāt employ
āYou are queer man, you are ladyboyā
Her ass wiggle in the wank bank
Iām going home to give it a yank
Free from worries about my sexual health
Iāll get what I need and party by myself
Written by David_Macleod
(14397816)
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Rachelleundrgrd
2
Joined 17th Feb 2018
Forum Posts: 86
Thought Provoker


Forum Posts: 86
JalapeƱo Hot Sex
I should have left him that night. It had begun decent enough. He'd cooked for me. Spicy goodness that shows a man knows his way around a kitchen.
Tummies full, he started his half-assed attempts to satisfy me in other ways. He was always rushing for the prize, no patience for warm-ups with that one.
As his fingers entered me, I realized something was very, very wrong. I was burning from the inside out. Not the kind of burn I would know with other men. Nope--the kind that sends you racing to the shower, then to the fridge to douse your girl bits in yogurt in an attempt to avoid imminent death.
All the while, he lay there, nonplussed and partially amused, falling asleep before I even returned to bed. Yep--I should have walked away right then and there, ice pack between my legs, nursing all assortments of parts in ways he never would.
R.
Tummies full, he started his half-assed attempts to satisfy me in other ways. He was always rushing for the prize, no patience for warm-ups with that one.
As his fingers entered me, I realized something was very, very wrong. I was burning from the inside out. Not the kind of burn I would know with other men. Nope--the kind that sends you racing to the shower, then to the fridge to douse your girl bits in yogurt in an attempt to avoid imminent death.
All the while, he lay there, nonplussed and partially amused, falling asleep before I even returned to bed. Yep--I should have walked away right then and there, ice pack between my legs, nursing all assortments of parts in ways he never would.
R.
Written by Rachelleundrgrd
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Velvet
Joined 14th Sep 2018
Forum Posts: 4
Thought Provoker

Forum Posts: 4
Velvetās Viagra
* For the āBad Sexā Competition *
He sidles up beside me
on the street
I hide my repulsion for
the old creep
Iām a dealer, out to make
a few bucks
Have what he needs for his
solitary fucks
He slips me the notes, I count
out the cash
I got the pervertās sildenafil stash
Deal done heās off on his
lecherous way
Just hope he doesnāt
overdose today.
He sidles up beside me
on the street
I hide my repulsion for
the old creep
Iām a dealer, out to make
a few bucks
Have what he needs for his
solitary fucks
He slips me the notes, I count
out the cash
I got the pervertās sildenafil stash
Deal done heās off on his
lecherous way
Just hope he doesnāt
overdose today.
Written by Velvet
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