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Jalapeño Hot Sex
I should have left him that night. It had begun decent enough. He'd cooked for me. Spicy goodness that shows a man knows his way around a kitchen.
Tummies full, he started his half-assed attempts to satisfy me in other ways. He was always rushing for the prize, no patience for warm-ups with that one.
As his fingers entered me, I realized something was very, very wrong. I was burning from the inside out. Not the kind of burn I would know with other men. Nope--the kind that sends you racing to the shower, then to the fridge to douse your girl bits in yogurt in an attempt to avoid imminent death.
All the while, he lay there, nonplussed and partially amused, falling asleep before I even returned to bed. Yep--I should have walked away right then and there, ice pack between my legs, nursing all assortments of parts in ways he never would.
R.
Tummies full, he started his half-assed attempts to satisfy me in other ways. He was always rushing for the prize, no patience for warm-ups with that one.
As his fingers entered me, I realized something was very, very wrong. I was burning from the inside out. Not the kind of burn I would know with other men. Nope--the kind that sends you racing to the shower, then to the fridge to douse your girl bits in yogurt in an attempt to avoid imminent death.
All the while, he lay there, nonplussed and partially amused, falling asleep before I even returned to bed. Yep--I should have walked away right then and there, ice pack between my legs, nursing all assortments of parts in ways he never would.
R.
Written by
Rachelleundrgrd
Published 22nd Nov 2018
| Edited 12th Feb 2021
Author's Note
Put ink to a flashback engendered by the Bad Sex competition. 🌶🌶🌶
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 18
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 16th Jun 2024 6:45am
22nd Nov 2018 8:55am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 4:00am
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 4:01am
It has been long enough that I may be able to muster a small chuckle to join you in :(.
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 8:53am
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
22nd Nov 2018 2:16pm
OMG! LOL!
Yep! But sometimes we gotta learn. . .
This gave me both a chuckle and a shock, Rachelle.
Yep! But sometimes we gotta learn. . .
This gave me both a chuckle and a shock, Rachelle.
1
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
Anonymous
22nd Nov 2018 2:33pm
I totally concur with the first commentator. This is hilarious & such an honest gush of shite sex.
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Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 4:02am
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
22nd Nov 2018 5:05pm
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 4:05am
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
22nd Nov 2018 6:20pm
Brava Rachell! I cook with Jalapeños sometimes and never touched my nether region after but certainly rubbed my eyes...OUCH! I can only half imagine your pain. This is one of those not-so-funny-at-the-time stories.
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Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 4:04am
Yeah, I have made the eye mistake myself and it immediately takes me right back! :)
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
25th Nov 2018 6:47am
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
1st Dec 2018 11:32am
Damn, this is damn hilarious. I second you on the "you should have walked away"
Painfully funny
Painfully funny
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Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
20th Jan 2019 6:04pm
Thanks for Joining me in the ‘only recently’ humor of the situation :).
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
19th Dec 2018 00:18am
At least the food was good. Maybe you can talk things over with your partner so that you may have a more satisfying experience.
1
Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
20th Jan 2019 1:12am
Ha Ha - It was funny and sad. Very enjoyable. Maybe the jalapeno saved you from further disappointment.
0
Re: Re. Jalapeño Hot Sex
20th Jan 2019 6:06pm