Fighting Suicide

Staring at the reflective mirror  
My life is at an impasse  
Decisions have never been clearer  
My fists pounding on the glass  
 
In pieces the mirror shatters  
Broken like my thoughts unknown  
Wondering if anything matters  
Travelling in this world alone  
 
Life is no longer worth living  
I'm tired of the constant pain  
My sins can never be forgiven  
Lifes vicious cycle is insane  
 
Contemplating the unimaginable  
I grab a broken glass shard  
Making deaths experience tangible  
By escaping my memories scarred  
 
The demons in my head battle  
A battle between dark and light  
What happens next has me rattled  
As the moon illuminates the night  
 
I placed the shard against my neck  
So close I was drawing blood  
That thought was then rejected  
And the tears began to flood  
 
I reflected on every memory  
Of the times in my life I smiled  
They outweighed the misery  
I've experienced for awhile  
 
So I focused on the good instead  
I took a fresh breath to rebegin  
Knowing better days lie ahead  
I overcame the struggle within  
 
 
 
 

 
Never let the darkness consume your light,
hold on to the whispers of hope,
embrace the strength within your soul
for you are needed, loved... cherished.

Never believe the lies of despair,
your existence is a beacon,
a guiding star in the night
shining brighter than you know.

Never forget the battles you've won,
each step forward is a victory,
your journey is a testament
to the resilience of your spirit.

Never surrender to the shadows,
for within you lies a fire,
a flame that will burn eternally
lighting the path to forever.

As i sit here and reflect
on all things that I regret
I feel somewhat surprised
that I haven't committed suicide
That's because my work here isn't done
the final chapter has now begun
A few more poems I will write
before i sign off and say goodnight

You want to commit suicide?
OK, Go for it
I'll give you all the encouragement you need
I'll be your Kevorkian
What are you waiting for?
If you keep weighing out your choices, you may change your mind
Don't you finally want to be good at something?
People will have so much more respect for you
If you're not sure on how to perform the suicide
Here are the four main choices:

Gun

Pills

Hanging

Razor

If you don't like those choices, you can always crash the car, jump off a building or put yourself in front of a speeding train
No?
Too gruesome?
Ok then
Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll do great!
If you decide to leave a suicide note, can you mention that you'd like to leave me your entire Vinyl & CD collection
You have some rare gems
Yeah!!
Really?!, Cool!!
I'll say some really nice things about you at your wake & funeral
You rock!!
Thanks again
Goodbye

The hurt is heavy.

The pain, it stays.

A numbness grows,

I can’t escape it.

I walk this life alone,

hope shattered,

broken beyond repair.

Anger, without reason.

I fight myself.

Round after round.

Some days, I wish for the end.

Shadows weigh me down,

fury rising,

my own enemy.

I try to heal,

but the wounds are too deep.

My friends are lost,

believing peace comes in silence.

Someday I will escape,

thinking death will bring relief.


But within me,
a storm brews,

chaos hidden in the quiet.

How much longer can I stand?

Memories of joy feel distant.

The shadows linger,

while joy hides,

too afraid to speak.

I can’t seem to fix what’s broken.

I am a storm,

rain falling,

dark skies all I know.

I wish I could see the effort,

to trust myself again.

My thoughts cut sharp,

whispers of failure,

you’re not enough.

Every choice feels wrong,

like I’ll never be enough,

even for me.

I’d disappear,

erase this life,

escape the fear.

Wish to be light,

beautiful, free.

But the mirror lies,

reflecting my flaws.

It’s hard to live

when you can’t look at yourself.

Every day, I wonder

how much would I miss

if I stepped away?

The pull to the edge

grows stronger with every tear.

How much longer

can I hold on,

before I fade away?