Fancy Pants

Cast, In order of appearance            
Gallivant                
Britches                
Rigmarole                
Hoodwink                
Skull duggery                
Flummoxed                
Shenanigans                
Brouhaha                
Whatsit                
Jalopy                
   
I'll gallivant round in my old patched britches              
deaf to the rigmarole of dressing chic,      
cos they hoodwink us with ads selling pants with fancy stitches                
and there, in ads, lie their skull duggery...       
           
And then, I'm damn-well flummoxed, (here, ads go crazy)          
at the shenanigans and brouhaha they use to sell us                
a thingymagig, a whatsit? Ah... yes, a rusting jalopy!        
         
With support from        
various Odds & Sods.

He gallivants into my room.
His face is a sight for sore eyes.
We kiss in an adulterated fashion
and my passion for him burns deep.
He rigamaroles words for foreplay,
but without delay he is in my mouth.

My mother hears all the brouhaha,
and she kicks the door down in fear.
Flummoxed, she beats him with the broom block
meanwhile, his cock is flying about.
She calls him a hoodwink,
but she does not know I have a kink.
Meanwhile, he desperately tries to pull
his britches up and cries for mercy.
He literally jumps out of the window,
and my beau, hops into his jalopy.
I am left here in the wake of this mess.

My mother does not know what to make
of our shenanigans, but I can tell
that hell will break loose for my whatsit time.
She insist that since I am not wed
no man should be in my bed
for that is skullduggery, but I reply
he was standing, does skull fuckery count?

I watch you gallivant  
all over this fucking city  
trying to hoodwink  
every girl you can find  
to slip their hand down  
your britches and feel  
what pulses beneath  
get a jumpstart on the rigmarole  
of convincing them you're  
worth a chance at the fire
between their legs  
 
You like them blushing  
and flummoxed  
in the backseat of your  
father's red jalopy  
for some shenanigans  
that aren't spoken about  
in polite society  
 
Whether the chase  
is hard or easy  
this game of skull duggery  
is what you're all about  
the brouhaha of the conquest
almost as good as the conquest itself  
 
Balls deep  
you've already forgotten  
whatsits name  
she could be anyone  
and she is to you  
one more nameless fuck  
for you to scratch into your headboard
when you get home  

We rode a fake jalopy
with coconuts sounding cloppy
off beaten paths
to Anthrax
the castle on the moors.

At first we all were flummoxed
no where or why or whatsit;
we found no Grail
on our trail
but there were nympho maids…..

Oh, we’ll gallivant in our britches
with those naughty bitches
who caused a whole
rigamarole
and a brouhaha.

Shenanigans they were thinking,
skull duggery and hoodwinking--
tricked us in
to carnal sin
and spankings, all around.