DUP 10 Year Anniversary Celebration!

So this month on The Poetcast Project we are celebrating the 10 year anniversary of DUP in its current form.

We are looking for you to write a poem about Deep Underground Poetry as you see it. The winner will have their poem used to close the show as well as get a shiny trophy for their cabinet. Ideally, we would love you to record yourself reading it for us, but if you can't or don't want too, one of us (or anybody that would like to read it for you) will happily read it out to close the show. Of course, all credit will be given to you in the show notes as author.

We are looking for poems that summarise DUP. What you love. What you've learned. Your experiences. Your history.

Rules

* Winning poem will close the August show of The Poetcast Project podcast

* We would love for you to read the poem for us, but if you don't want too, we are able to read it for you.

* New poems or old poems accepted

* Audio poems accepted

* The odd bit of swearing is permitted, just don't go mad.

* Everyone is invited. All members, their personas, their postmen and their mad cats.

* One week because the deadline is tight.

Stella entries so far. Just what we are looking for. Thank you!

“Deep Underground Wizard”


In the end
The Poetcast Project would have been
a part of the Good Nights Await Hotel
I’m not sick at all
but if that is just all fictional
that “Seizure Is Now Worse” poem in the corridor
next to myself, a wax statue
and a model of Abington Park Museum
could appear in reality
Stick it to a wall near you
like buying a pair of boxing gloves
and two packets of blue-tac
as I know how to hit
make it into a ball and just start
knocking the shit out of it
It is Thursday 25th July 2019
and the time is 2:38pm
Wanted to but haven’t ripped-up that cannabis draft
and whatever way I go
should have apparently been the other
That “Be Loud, Speak Up, Surf” trash
I’m giving it a bad review
seriously lack of clarity in lines
such as a hammer and Miss Sub
At first, that’s a situation badly misjudged
would have wrote and added
“she killed a psychotic mastermind
clear path back on board”
into my notes at the time
if it hadn’t been for that lil dragon fly
telling me to watch out for one time-traveller
and that he was only a hundred yards behind
carrying a packet of 18 cans of Pepsi

Everyone’s got their own version of it
“Deep Underground: A History”
A part of my soul has been left floating around the library
it was just the other day it dropped off a page
The message read
“September and October of 2013
my baby-mother is getting worried about
me talking to someone from London
and her initials are SH
Three-years on
and I’m still here living on Lower Bath Street
I’ve spent as much time with her as I could
Why is she still stressing at me?
When she felt like she was
getting pushed into a corner
I went to that college and was there for her
Tired of them disses
as I’m on YouTube watching
the faces of people stare-down a camera in 1903
but I still hear the old
fuck off and watch your porn
Studying that Relapse album in 2009
careful what you wish for
wasn’t a track I listened to first
it was My Darling.”

Now moving to 2017
There’s been a lot of name-calling
and it would set him ablaze if he was told the truth
because I used one photo from another member
that picture of the red clown
and my accuser was adamant
that it was me behind that account
And if it wasn’t for
an imposter pretending to be Jack Sparrow
and actually send me the phone-number
of Johnny Depp
as promised, we could have been together
P.S This is Stan, bang bang, could
have went into depth
but I leave with your partner, say respect
The gratitude of being able to
wake up and show some fans
what one person alone can do

Yes! It’s finally happening
Only real time I was pleased
to be stood next to him
when he transformed
And I mean looking at Brian’s iPad
at property’s in Northampton
I’m being moved and I’m just
gonna explode with inspiration I’m sure
No more listening to that shouting
and them really denying what was
happening behind closed doors
Once I was watching Empire of the Sun
eating some tomato soup and bread
and also checking DU
when Sara walks through the front door pissed out of her head
walks in leaving puddles of water and mud
and sits on my bed
He walks out the bedroom
never asked “What’s up, B?”
and just started laughing
Seriously? Yeah, you need to go
what are you doing here
And I have an appointment at the job centre tomorrow
I can’t even believe this is happening
I’m a fake writer and Plasters is wiser
by the train tracks inevitably
is a good place for him
though, a sheet isn’t what he’s wrapped me in
plus Zoe would tell anyone
above and beyond past the grave
No one will stop Ricky
telling his story
So when in Corby
I did always have to get a black taxi to school
and knew the A43 route
like the back of my hand
Heat at the moment and the sweat
having away the lyrics
I can remember the sentences
although they’ve been smeared in
“A few nights ago
I was awake that morning
the rain, thundering and lightning arrived”

The time is now 7:23pm
Instead of the see-through plastic folders
I have a red clip folder
that’s empty of wallets
just have to write A Dadacrook on it
But making a piece of paper
look like a piece of parchment
treasure as to why I stand for
so that’s studying possibly
The Mummy, The Mummy Returns
and The Scorpion King
confuse competitors in a sand storm
And that doesn’t necessarily mean
Brian in Egypt
because I’m sick, it’s from him thinking I’m constantly stalking
Neither have to prove anything to
one another anymore
I know I’m passionate and is not just
gonna sit and make it up
Tired of hearing about Only Fools and Horses?
I’m watching that episode, “Mother Nature’s Son”
On a scale of it no less than ten
I’m inside Ricky haha possession again
It’s Anna Grin
a caterpillar bean-bag teddy covering us
unwillingly under an invisibility cloak with James
At 28, such a child, colouring
Never touched me but what
have you left me in
I’m seeking those that hide
and think it’s a game
Can I not make anymore Harry Potter references?
I mean, no one could see me in the scene
in the Forbidden Forest
but I wrote “Dumbstruck”
while trying to sow a sparrow
you just can’t really see
a cloaked figure walk in
and kill _____ through my screen
Dolores Umbridge arriving
and calling my brothers half-breeds
I just had to stay calm with my bow and arrow
because you know
what it’s like with a Sagittarius
Long ago, a giant clipped my wings
so sorry I couldn’t have been around
sooner
You see, the Deep Underground Poetry
Webmiss had me locked away
for 4 years
That boggart in her cupboard

_____
Another void entry.
Have another 3 days for my actual piece, so I’m just getting warmed up. 🕰✝️🍿🚳

“Five Years In A Dingy”


Having made a cup of tea
I’m back at my desk
and the time is 4:44am
It’s done it again
can’t leave the DairyMilk chocolate
bar out for too long
because it just keeps melting
How do I explain, that I’d do a glass-frame free for her
happy the Deep Underground website
is on the internet
aside from the fake people
and whoever they pretend to be
They claimed to understand me
I admitted to that mistake I once made
haven’t poetically attacked
anyone in any inbox messaging
Just a troll hating
but said he was Agent Smith from the matrix
Austin back in Emmanuel Middle School
having all three films on one disc
he never thought it fascination to return it
But of course I don’t know
who the robot really was
but when I reached machine city
He said his name was “Badbedbong”
crazy rapping outcome
poked fun about a line
from his Kamikaze album
like “It’s fun, you’re plugged into nothing!”
So no one is really seeing
these weird dreams when I’m asleep
Right now, I’m pleased to be
able to be that invisible ink worm
now crawling across the screen
inside a tent
outside Alex’s shed
I can see the castle
but a whisper in my ear says
“It is Friday 26th July 2019
Ryan has cut you up into pieces
and you’ve been sent to Alison’s address
as that parcel.”
I don’t spin
when they’re imagining me in one
and it’s always carpet tunnel

Welcome to the Deep Underground site
You will be allowed to play
bulldog and see who gets hash-tagged
Maybe I should have wrote
some more erotic poetry
and how I’d love if my nipples were bleeding
I don’t just say the cripples are fiending
as I’ve often helped out
a homeless person sitting outside Iceland
Gave him three-quid
With my star-sign
trying to compare me with Dumbledore
because of the way he controlled
a snake and the fire not only
inside the cave
Over-tired and wide awake
Picturing a police car
being pushed into the black lake
And hear echoes of
“You see nothing, it’s either one of us
in another dimension we’re lost in!”
“Well, See No Evil Hear No Evil
is a childhood film mate
and excuse-em-mwah-Monsieur-hot-shit!”

How can I summarise DU?
It’s tricky business falling in love with a poet
with Anna Grin
it’s like I grabbed her thong
and ran that marathon so fast
I ended up karate-chopping in mid-air
with my hand
during an argument with Hitler
who come around shouting his mouth off
about tv license
so in no time at all
you’ll occasionally lose yourself
And through all the creativity mess
and people trying to throw
gasoline and a lit-match into the next cell
I don’t have a problem with anyone
Would you want a taste of this cake?
It’s layered with so much
Under a door, Ricky got his toe stuck
and that’s a confrontation
best left unsaid
for an insane asylum conference
where ambition is critical

The time is now 6:30am
and I’ve just closed my window
I didn’t leave the cigarette that way on my pen
I’ve liked people’s work without them knowing it
and what can I say
I’m at a loss for words sometimes
because I suck at commenting

However, I’ll take this moment to write
a howler for Eamon
“In 2017, I do remember getting a
lot of inspiration from “The Snare” film
and wanted to be there
writing in Ireland
To tell the tale of Reemiss and his parchment
not just that, but other spells
I achieved when they
would have been too tired
And all the horcrux’s will be destroyed
at once if they can make it up to
Mount Everest with that blue diamond.”
_____
Void entry. 🐛

“A Worm on Bottled Bleach”


I ended up missing the bus.
I didn’t want to go to school because of Sam.
He’s a Deep Underground madman who comes out late at night
Scared of sunlight
and has his laugh while graffitiing walls; last message around the corner was
“Think the word graffitiing has too many E’s in it.” So I walked through Holman Close and through an alleyway, thinking “I never will be, but maybe some day someone will ask what it’s took to be great. I’d have to say, sweat, sickness, and a lot of sugar intake,” I saw John appear in the distance, beside a hedge. On our journey, we talked about him trying to kick a ball up, by tapping the sole of his foot on the top of it, and I carried on by myself, him departing on Wellingborough Road.
When I made it to the Tesco tunnel, that is where I saw Eamon. He said, “It’s now quarter-to-nine, and I’m signing back into DU again. I see the cannabis draft, I laughed that you crossed the no out in knob, but allow the fucks to remain in there.”
I looked at my watch, cared that I was gonna be late in 12 minutes.

Getting off the Wellingborough Road, and entering the grounds; I see a cube for the sports-hall, basketball court kind of exam room I remember, when sitting my GCSE’s.
Walked through reception doors; two chairs on left, and to my right was the receptionists desk. A locked door ahead, that would lead into a huge canteen. I walked out onto the playground. James from behind me called my name, done his little run-up laughing and said “We got you out of bed last night, for me and Jade to get in it, because...I wonder if he’s somewhere and can imagine the moment. Was sat in his bedroom playing The Eminem Show.”
I made into class and saw Tracy as always, sitting in the corner. I said to her, “I won’t forget you having those shit songs I recorded with a phone, on yours...”
“What’s this about?” asked Zenda, suddenly leaning forward, I then continued: “She had everything that I recorded..her favourite one, that was Lee laughing whilst I was recording on Eminem’s Toy Soldiers instrumental, for a good two minutes at least. Can’t remember what I said. Don’t know about a half-blood prince, more like Tard-er prick. I’m feeling Re Re, not Rihanna, that’s Reemiss. It’s crazy, but it does take time, he wants to exist and with all his will put the energy in. I know we usually have 15 minutes, and now only having 1, so I just want to say—For Slim, I’ve got a horror spin, his bones on the storyboard, and I mean studying his origin, being German and Irish, so his sense of humour is beyond a joke, which had made Matthew mad, getting a reply worse than Stan’s, photo attached of the man wearing a Japan flag.”

When the bell rang, I walked into the toilets and saw James sitting on the radiator, talking to someone in a cubicle and also playing “Brain Damage”.
“You need to get on the train, otherwise you’re gonna be carrying half a bicycle for the other end to fly and arriving late, you took the polyjuice potion, they know he didn’t have the same sandwich, what did you order again?”
James said, “I had, umm, nine rolls, three waters,” was given a half-lit cigarette and said to me, “You will need to know what I’m offering, for that poem of yours titled My Apology.”
I shook my head, walked out, past Rachel and Shona sitting with earphones in on a laptop, then made it to Science class.
The rumours weren’t true; it was sitting in the right hand corner of the room when I walked in, soon said
“I’ll make a line of day-walkers
one of which you will not cut off
and so what that I keep having to return
to the toilets to
put on some more sun-block
Wanna pick up a handgun or something?
Can’t tell if I’m a man or woman
and it’s a sure as why I’ve come back for
I can’t follow orders
And all them two in Dryden House heard
was platform nine and three quarters
Don’t worry about Mr Stevens up at the front
I’ve already said for him
to get his head around it
like telling him what I can’t spit
because I’m not some half-wit
My name is Sam, and to defeat me
that’s joining that certain church group
in Silent Hill
thinking you can save the damned
And whilst we’re on the subject of
talking about dumb teachers and their concepts
I told Steven, that you’re gonna
draw Rodney and Del Boy
from that Homesick episodes
then it’s onto drawing a bigger version of
Harry Potter and Voldemort duelling
No one else is showing any proof
so it’s a genuine scheme and I want to get in it
I mean, for the Half-Blood Prince
I’ve got a part of the script that went missing
so you’re probably Dumbledore man
like saying water...three sugars, milk and a Yorkshire ripper tea-bag...”
“Why are you staring at the bat poster? Aktar asked. I pulled my bottle of Dr Pepper out of my bag, then Sam continued:
“As you grow more quicker
I’m not that shit fourth riddler
like stamping a stamp on your forehead
of Tuesday 23rd April 2019
and Anna not sending a naked picture
with her problem with empathy poem
I can relate, like not caring how many
words are the same and on the line are placed
so pulling off one with one hand in one second
I do doubt you
so if we’re talking about boobs
you can get a last pic in
of Barbara in Night of the Living Dead
with her top and bra missing
aside my true self, after you shoot
_____ in the head and miss this zombie
Of course it isn’t checkmate in this race
as I’m ahead
Take this overflow now
you’re right about writing nothing original
with that Wrong Turn movie
so I could be an axe wielding feminist
telling them to more or less think
of my bitch lines towards others
like the enemy of my enemy is my friend
And I hate men
they say Jessie is messy
because Chris couldn’t answer the questions
other words, I asked where the cannibals
were going after we ran out the house
And then asked him what they were doing
when we’re in a watchtower
I mean, I expect my boyfriend to read minds
and see past doors...”

I was called out of the classroom by another teacher, and was told “Chloe said he knows he got out of bed, just after six at night, and it’s now Saturday 27th July 2019, and the time now has just gone twelve-minutes-past-six.”
As soon as I put my hand on the classroom door, my phone fell out of my pocket
and saw the message; a voice-clip from September 2017. I opened it and heard
“It could have been suicide.
Someone in the crew is tampering, poisoning the weed, he’s full of shit
man, I know Albert Einstein never appeared
in the cue and asked him how to make a line rhyme.
Heard he tried to slice your arm, Uma told to sit in the van, whilst she kept
twisting that Indian flag, it sure is twisted angel
Can he produce something in material
as beautiful as The Qur’an?
Mr John Sickyith’s junk won’t make it
into the basement of the Vatican
yet I carry on, hungry to show what a wizard is.
Not more lying just because he’s giving you a lift
to back where you live
so arrive all pissed off and guilty to quiz the kids
like the time she was pulling out all them dvd’s
and you was proud over such a shit tv.
Social services arrive trying to understand a baby, “pishy pish”. That translation is, questioned my authority in darkness, I’ll have you blown to bits, you bitch.”
______
Another void entry.
This competition sure has helped with my diary entries. 🤓

“Prison Glass”


Here, where? This is how the confrontation went
Was in the Good Nights Await Hotel
walking through one of the corridors back to my room
Was looking at the floor
and as I turned a corner to walk through my door
I was in a room surrounded by others in an orange jump-suit
like fuck was I, I looked up
the time was 7:20pm and could hear someone yelling “Brian!”
As I walked forward, I sat down, and having picked up the phone
at the same time
I heard “It is Grim, when you don’t know who’s looking
so why was the gastric-band put in?
I mean, dumb quotes being shared by a genius like yourself
about people wasting the best years of
their life on people that didn’t give a fuck.”
“Big man, ain’t we, Paul? Why am I in here?”
“You will just bullshit me if you’re told the truth, I’m just here because I love hearing it, like Ricky’s window
believing you’re really peering in.”
I remember seeing Ricky’s reflection

while he continued:
“If you arrived outside of a train station
and met Magdalena
offering a bag of munchies and the Twin Town movie
you’d not be able to
lie about your ex always leaving dirty
cutlery piled up near the sink
What you think, she would want to be interested in you? You stink
and won’t on a marble floor have your statement
because you’re not a poet
so none existent is that
short and sweet for some peace
She’s been stolen, Reemiss said
saw and sex, you’re a peach
It’s okay to admit you have a weak-bladder
just don’t blame it on the kids
I heard Ricky’s doing a glass frame for Sue
and talk of the devil, it’s you
Sat in a grey tracksuit, at a table
and looking through my piece of paper now on
having a fortune-teller and a priest
there’s nothing in the rules
that says Ricky can’t write in Brenda and Constantine
because we all have our defence mechanisms.”
“What’s he got to say about never winning a trophy?
Shit is funny, he’s supposedly one of the greatest
walking in the wrong direction
and my crowd said he looks very lonely
I don’t tell lies, he can’t admit anywhere on a line that the only
gold cup was an egg one from his
baby-mother that time he made her put up that competition
Hasn’t inner peace like myself and more hides
but so what about the police
nobody knows me and I am right
I don’t give a fuck about anyone on
that Deep Underground site
I’ll just stick to Facebook
have more typo’s in lines and spit fire
always against Mr Smiths hate crimes.”

I’ve cut out a square from
a Northampton Borough Council letter
And with a brown fine-pen
write on it
that I heard the young woman
who lives at number 13, at 6:18am
shouting at someone to fuck off
and there was banging of doors
And at nine o’clock now
can you look out the window
and notice it’s been raining?
Thankful for that cold breeze blowing
and I’ve been laughing
you just can’t see myself now
laying on the pavement and rolling around
_____
Yet another void destroyed oh boy entry.
I have one more and then that’s me done. ⭐️