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Poetry competition CLOSED 29th August 2018 10:55pm
WINNER
Anonymous
Anonymous
Page:
David_Macleod
Poetry Contest Description
There can be only one!
The DUP needs to show its appreciation for one of its most awesome eclectic writers. David Macleod of the clan Macleod. Like the massive swipe of a claymore his words cut deep. Like a deep fried Mars bar his words are unhealthy yet so fucking sweet.
Show you love with rhymes, haters need not apply......
Show you love with rhymes, haters need not apply......
Anonymous
Captain Shitehawk
I was surfing Facebook one day
whilst sat on the loo
when his avatar appeared
and I thought “I know you”
sent out a request
and was surprised he accepted
(which was a great relief
as I’m quite often rejected)
but we started to laugh
and swear like old troopers
taking jabs at the God squad
and opportunistic poopers.
Sometimes we’ll ring each other
just to have a wee chat,
the dog will be on the floor
and on my lap, my old cat
and I’ll drone on about how
I can’t wake the fuck up
as I fall back asleep
inside my cold tea cup
then he calls me a wart
and I call him a gnome
and a torrent of abuse
arrives on my phone
like jaffa-faced arse biscuit
as he swears like a trucker
and I always hit back
with moose knuckled fucker
and then it gets personal
and I face the full brunt:
“Knobs on ya maw
ya trash diseased cunt”.
I don’t know how I’d cope
without our daily profanity,
in a strange way it gives me
a certain kind of sanity
so here’s to the Scots dude
in the orange biker hat,
when all is said and done
I still think you’re a twat.
I was surfing Facebook one day
whilst sat on the loo
when his avatar appeared
and I thought “I know you”
sent out a request
and was surprised he accepted
(which was a great relief
as I’m quite often rejected)
but we started to laugh
and swear like old troopers
taking jabs at the God squad
and opportunistic poopers.
Sometimes we’ll ring each other
just to have a wee chat,
the dog will be on the floor
and on my lap, my old cat
and I’ll drone on about how
I can’t wake the fuck up
as I fall back asleep
inside my cold tea cup
then he calls me a wart
and I call him a gnome
and a torrent of abuse
arrives on my phone
like jaffa-faced arse biscuit
as he swears like a trucker
and I always hit back
with moose knuckled fucker
and then it gets personal
and I face the full brunt:
“Knobs on ya maw
ya trash diseased cunt”.
I don’t know how I’d cope
without our daily profanity,
in a strange way it gives me
a certain kind of sanity
so here’s to the Scots dude
in the orange biker hat,
when all is said and done
I still think you’re a twat.
Related submission no longer exists.
I Hate David Macleod
I don't like David Macleod
I don't like the guy
Not one bit, not at all
Why; his poetry is better
It makes the girls wetter
Than anything I could letter
So, I'll say it once again
And ever more loud
I hate David Macleod
Besides,
David is from England
And I am an American
Which means he's actually
Smarter than I am
And that makes me
Want to have a cow
This is a satirical write about a fellow poet I admire. So, before you message me on how disrespectful I am, please familiarize yourself as to the meaning of satire.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems-by/David_Macleod/
I don't like the guy
Not one bit, not at all
Why; his poetry is better
It makes the girls wetter
Than anything I could letter
So, I'll say it once again
And ever more loud
I hate David Macleod
Besides,
David is from England
And I am an American
Which means he's actually
Smarter than I am
And that makes me
Want to have a cow
This is a satirical write about a fellow poet I admire. So, before you message me on how disrespectful I am, please familiarize yourself as to the meaning of satire.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems-by/David_Macleod/
Written by snugglebuck
Go To Page
-State of Normalcy-
Punk/Thrash Metal/Rap
Too much interference. There's static in my head.
You will feel all my pain. Can you feel the coming dread?
Read between the lines as my middle fingers bleed.
Back away before you die, you better take heed.
-No time for patience...No time for peace.
-No time for kindness...Your life is on lease.
-No time for love...No time for tweats.
-No time for passion and I got no time for creeps.
So, you say your life's unfair. Well, who the fuck cares?
You drift into my mind deranged, you'll see my fangs bared.
And, cross your path with mine you better look the other way.
'Cause since I hit the street it's been another fucked-up day.
-Don't care about no color...Don't care about your views.
-Don't care for you glances, so I'll beat you black and blue.
-Don't you understand you're nothin'? Is your brain so fuckin' crip?
-Don't care about your 'dis, so eat you own shit.
We be...tossed and lost and smokin' dope, watching shit TV.
So brainwashed in our daily rote, survival is our creed.
But, once you had some-somethin' and be takin' from your pound,
the loss is boss and fuck-you too, it's gone to feed the hounds.
-There's nothin' left for you...There's nothin' left but more.
-They chew you up and spit you out, those weasely fuckin' whores.
-They look at us as sheep in the lair of all 'Dem creeps.
-So when they out and come about it's all about the leash.
Now, I've caught this fuckin' flu from this sick society.
'Cause the State of Normalcy is all idiocracy.
The point of no return is dead and now is buried deep.
'Cause 'Dem fuckin' politicians sown what we all must eat.
-Nothin' makes no sense, no more, especially in D.C.
-Nothin' is our hope as creeps dine and sip their tea.
-Nothin' seems to matter...Nothin' do they share.
-Nothin' gonna come our way, you better be aware.
-No time for patience...Always time for war.
-No time for kindness...Look at all the gore.
-No time for love...No time for tweats.
-No time for passion. It's time to beat the Creeps.
Too much interference. There's static in my head.
You will feel all my pain. Can you feel the coming dread?
Read between the lines as my middle fingers bleed.
Back away before you die, you better take heed.
-No time for patience...No time for peace.
-No time for kindness...Your life is on lease.
-No time for love...No time for tweats.
-No time for passion and I got no time for creeps.
So, you say your life's unfair. Well, who the fuck cares?
You drift into my mind deranged, you'll see my fangs bared.
And, cross your path with mine you better look the other way.
'Cause since I hit the street it's been another fucked-up day.
-Don't care about no color...Don't care about your views.
-Don't care for you glances, so I'll beat you black and blue.
-Don't you understand you're nothin'? Is your brain so fuckin' crip?
-Don't care about your 'dis, so eat you own shit.
We be...tossed and lost and smokin' dope, watching shit TV.
So brainwashed in our daily rote, survival is our creed.
But, once you had some-somethin' and be takin' from your pound,
the loss is boss and fuck-you too, it's gone to feed the hounds.
-There's nothin' left for you...There's nothin' left but more.
-They chew you up and spit you out, those weasely fuckin' whores.
-They look at us as sheep in the lair of all 'Dem creeps.
-So when they out and come about it's all about the leash.
Now, I've caught this fuckin' flu from this sick society.
'Cause the State of Normalcy is all idiocracy.
The point of no return is dead and now is buried deep.
'Cause 'Dem fuckin' politicians sown what we all must eat.
-Nothin' makes no sense, no more, especially in D.C.
-Nothin' is our hope as creeps dine and sip their tea.
-Nothin' seems to matter...Nothin' do they share.
-Nothin' gonna come our way, you better be aware.
-No time for patience...Always time for war.
-No time for kindness...Look at all the gore.
-No time for love...No time for tweats.
-No time for passion. It's time to beat the Creeps.
Written by carpemax
Go To Page
#davidmacleodisGod
I am wonderful
take it from me
I am so wonderful
that I never lie
especially about me
It's such a shame
many have still to
recognise my brilliance
Just a matter of time
how could one fail to see
the genius that is me
I used to be big headed
my ego not in check
I was as proud as punch
yet I didn't fall once
I was extremely boastful
I toasted myself always
but now I am just perfect
those faults, truly historical
I am humble not histerical
I am the whole package
I am the eighth wonder
I am the greatest of the great
I am the alpha and omega
I am the sun and moon
I am God, there is no other
Mary was never my mother
You will see me
you will love me
you will feel me
you will fall on your knees
you will bow before me
you will worship and praise
you will be in awe
I will win this competition
your votes are assured
Authors Note: This is not an entry to the competition, I just felt after carpemax's entry of some fucked/Trash Mental/Crap there had to be some balance
I am wonderful
take it from me
I am so wonderful
that I never lie
especially about me
It's such a shame
many have still to
recognise my brilliance
Just a matter of time
how could one fail to see
the genius that is me
I used to be big headed
my ego not in check
I was as proud as punch
yet I didn't fall once
I was extremely boastful
I toasted myself always
but now I am just perfect
those faults, truly historical
I am humble not histerical
I am the whole package
I am the eighth wonder
I am the greatest of the great
I am the alpha and omega
I am the sun and moon
I am God, there is no other
Mary was never my mother
You will see me
you will love me
you will feel me
you will fall on your knees
you will bow before me
you will worship and praise
you will be in awe
I will win this competition
your votes are assured
Authors Note: This is not an entry to the competition, I just felt after carpemax's entry of some fucked/Trash Mental/Crap there had to be some balance
Anonymous
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