Thoughts from The Mouth of Madness
These are the random self-analyses of a life spent compartmentalizing. Realised, at an older age that these compartments, which have held a lifetime of pain and torment, have finally rusted through. The exposure of 48 years of hurt and betrayal of so-called, "Loved Ones," has destroyed hope, trust and any possiblity of restoring my life force, my Soul, if you will. An aeronautical term comes to mind which partialy compares to these feelings and the reality of hopelessness, "Point of No Return (PNR)." PNR is (example): a pilot blacks-out and the plane is on autopilot. The plane travels out over an ocean, venturing too far for the pilot to get back to land and safety. He/She has no options other than a crash landing into the deep blue sea. Forboding...Helpless...No one to count on for salvation. Unless you've experienced this dread of life I really don't expect you to even come close to understanding the complexities involved in this daily tourture. "Walk a mile in the shoes of another." But if you cannot comprehend any of these feelings I, at least, am happy for you. I wouldn't wish these horrible, debilitating feelings of nothingness on anyone. I can only hope, through the poetry (for lack of a better word, as I obviously have no formal training other than life experiences) that follows. I hope you will find compassion for others who may not be all in the here-and now (believe me, they're here but the mind can be an unforgiving, lost place). Maybe, even, someone you're close with.
PS Please forgive missplellings and syntax errors. Peace