Heartbreak

I'd have you in for tea, but you've seen just how I live
So I ask you, “Night, tell me, is that really all you've got to give?”
Spastic inclinations formed by drastic elations
You’ve got me talking in quotations as I lay in exudation
I can’t pinpoint just when it was that I lost power
But this once bittersweet has all but turned to sour
I swallowed up my dignity and glanced upon your shadow
Then I woke up in France inside a rundown chateau
As she twisted her head to the side with a quirk
"How have you been?" she said with a smirk
I can see right through your eyes as if they’re made of glass
That award winning grin, she angles with class
I've left it, as they say, inside the hands of fate
So the next time I choose teams I'll be sure you participate
This difficult climb, not for the faint of heart
Let me stop you right there before you even start
I've run away again, till I’m lost out of sight
Holding on for one more day, and maybe one more night…
So here is my confessional, I’m well aware it’s 1 A.M.
But my eyes just will not close and my thoughts refuse to mend…

Here comes that feeling once again, the one I thought was real
With patterns of symbolic senses, I still can touch but cannot feel
Every aching phone call made, a pleasure point that starts to fade
The Queen of hearts, the King of spades, a virgin girl, never laid
A relationship that smells of hate
Exploring girls, I'd never date
What was once so unbelievably kind
A perfect angel she is not, but she's the closest thing you'll find...

Years slip away and I get older, but never wise beyond my years
I woke up and my eyes were swollen shut, from all those late night tears
Displaying symptoms that would make you cringe
Hold tight to that blankets worn out fringe
Yesterday's and yesteryears
An angry youthful, women's fears
Nightmares that became too real
Made me miss the way you feel
Blood red Summer's turn to cold
Understanding I'm too fucking old
So here's my encore, my finale, my last song
I've been pushed aside it seems for too damn fucking long
Like a spirit in the night, she came to me inside a dream
I walked on top of life's perpetual highest beam
But I've out smarted you my love, because your ignorance is bliss
I guess you wanted one last face to face, perhaps just one last kiss...

Starry, starry nights, you paint with brushes of guilt
The earth is standing still but now my head's a constant tilt
Hold the wheel while I'm driving, make sure to hold it steady
You see right through me angel, as if I'm dead already
You can't take back the things you've seen, nothing good at all
Yeah you taught me how to stand, when I tried so hard to crawl
You couldn't wait till I was gone, can't you wait till the bed is cold?
As I hold my head up high, and do just what I'm fucking told?
I detest this time of year, like a goddamn sickness
Hoping that this season, will just pass with the quickness
There's nothing left for me to do, to hold, to feel, to say
Waking with the thought of ending all of this today
I force a wakened smile, and pick myself up just to go outside
With a broken soul, and a wounded, soulless pride
The phone just will not ring, and if it does I'm just not here
I don't know how to make it anymore abundantly clear
Stranded in my head, I somehow make my way down the stairs
I'll face the world, once again, avoiding all the stares...

Got a picture of you in my phone.
I'm not gonna scroll it down.
I'm not gonna change.
Staring at the eyes of your face;
Those saying thousand of dreams.
Having a pinch of nicotine,
1.5% is not enough.
I swear this is my last;

Leaving the drawing,
Heading to the balcony.
So many stars twinkling out there!
Laughing & missing with me.
Got a earphone in my ear.
Playing sweet unknown.
Smokes flying through the cloud!
Hiding the moon inside.
Feeling frozen; but nothing to warm me up.
I'll overcome every obstacles for you.
I won't stop loving.
I swear on you.

Got two bottles of champagne,
Still waiting for your toast.
I will wait for you.
I swear on this nicotine tonight.

How beautifully embroidered lies
You’ve sewn within twists and turns
Making your way to my depths
Stealing the breath from my lips
And the heart from my chest

I pray that one day, once again I'll meet you
I still hope that one day I'll get to to be with you
Sometimes I wish these photos would bring you back to life
Sometimes I wish the dreams of you would never end
Cause all I want to do is to see you again dancing in your favorite white dress
How I wish to see the sun glare in your eyes
How I wish to see your hair fall down your face
How I wish to see the tears roll down your face
And you're in my hands and I'll wipe them away
Anything just to be with you for another single day
Cause all I want to do is to see you again dancing in your favorite white dress
I hate all that I have are these poems and words I get to say
I'd give then all up just to be with you again
Your hand in your hand and blood across the wall is still ached in my brain
Repeating in my head everyday like a loop on a video tape
If I could see your smile again
If I could feel your touch again
My heart would replace all this torment, pain and misery with joy that nothing can ever take away
I've seen the beauty of the world and not a single piece of it's crown jewels can take your place
Cause nobody does the simple things you used to do like you do
All I wish for is to see you again dancing in your favorite white dress

 
https://youtu.be/OBA3K8Olxg4


my heart is thin  
I can't let you in
our love is over
before it begins

fractures and slices  
from the pain of love's vices  
dulled to the feelings  
and the taste of what life is
 
 
 
the broken voice  
only in dreams
sings
 
lifted safely
on unconscious
wings
 
of joy and love it
can speak of these
things
 
the broken voice
only in dreams
sings
 
 
fearless and tearless  
traits I hold dearest
but sorrow and doubt  
are the things I have nearest  
 
of all joy i'm bereft
this shell i have left  
empty and heartless  
no risk of theft
 
 
 
the broken voice  
only in dreams
sings
 
lifted safely
on unconscious
wings
 
of joy and love it
can speak of these
things
 
the broken voice
only in dreams
sings

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LO7MB1D85Hw

time and time ive seen you wink
and why wouldnt you think
that id like to have a drink
or two with you

you think im just playin it cool
Im tired of playing the fool
so why cant you see that this bar stool just ain't made for two


I'll bet your interests are a bore
You'll want less or I'll want more
You'll make pleasing you an impossible chore
So quit trying to drag me on the floor

I won't play loves game
No one feels the same
It all ends in blame
I'm tired of life in ashes
And I'm tired of the flame

You still want to know the score
I don't count any more
So here's what I think
You should buy your own drink
And get back to what your stool is for

Its been some time since I've seen you wink
And why would I think
You'd still like to have a drink
Or two with me

I think your playing it cool
Your tired of winking at the fool
You can finally see that these bar stools
Just ain't made for two

We know our interests are a bore
Well want less and well want more
Well make pleasing you an impossible chore
So quit trying to drag me on the floor

There ain't nothing cool
About playing the fool
So here's some advice
You'd better think twice
Before choosing a stool