Song Lyrics Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Song lyrics poems and music poetry
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Love on My Own….Again
Love on My Own….Again
the grey thoughts that surround my brain
try to break through and convince my soul that i am living again
but like the wisps of grey i wear on my head like a halo from Satan
they don’t convince me that I am free to love on my own again
they torment me swimming in amniotic thoughts that don’t escape me
I cant see the exit sign but I missed my ramp on my getaway to save me
they enter again working their way through my ear canals as i sleep
i miss the times when my brain is quiet...
the grey thoughts that surround my brain
try to break through and convince my soul that i am living again
but like the wisps of grey i wear on my head like a halo from Satan
they don’t convince me that I am free to love on my own again
they torment me swimming in amniotic thoughts that don’t escape me
I cant see the exit sign but I missed my ramp on my getaway to save me
they enter again working their way through my ear canals as i sleep
i miss the times when my brain is quiet...
#dreams
#love
#MentalHealth
37 reads
0 Comments
Jehovah Skinheads
Skinheads, Jehovah witness
Brainwashed neo-nazi apprentice
Fellowship, kingdom hall
Watchtower penned for all
Swastikas, white supremacy
Fourth Reich and its legacy
Shaved heads, military clothes
Sieg Heil, neo nazi oaths
Extremism, skinhead subculture
Couldn't erase their exposure
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
Police called at least five times
Murdered family, violent crimes
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse...
Brainwashed neo-nazi apprentice
Fellowship, kingdom hall
Watchtower penned for all
Swastikas, white supremacy
Fourth Reich and its legacy
Shaved heads, military clothes
Sieg Heil, neo nazi oaths
Extremism, skinhead subculture
Couldn't erase their exposure
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
Police called at least five times
Murdered family, violent crimes
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse...
#dark
#emptiness
57 reads
4 Comments
Some are watching
INSIDE ROARE
Some are watching
You don't know ... shh
Who watches your steps,
You don't know ... shh
Who counts the number of smiles.
You don't know ... shh
Who counts your tears.
You don't know who shares your house.
Who looks into your windows,
Who suits a black coat.
Who has tears in their eyes,
....it's probably me.
Who looks into your windows,
....it's probably me.
You don't know ... shh
Who wakes up with you.
You don't know ... shh
Who goes to bed with you.
You don't know ......
Some are watching
You don't know ... shh
Who watches your steps,
You don't know ... shh
Who counts the number of smiles.
You don't know ... shh
Who counts your tears.
You don't know who shares your house.
Who looks into your windows,
Who suits a black coat.
Who has tears in their eyes,
....it's probably me.
Who looks into your windows,
....it's probably me.
You don't know ... shh
Who wakes up with you.
You don't know ... shh
Who goes to bed with you.
You don't know ......
#emotions
#inspirational
#love
#motivational
#respect
101 reads
0 Comments
Can you Hear the Silence
Can you hear the silence
I yearn for the silence to hear me
I run from the noise that assaults me
I breathe but my breath can’t hear me
I live for the silence that lives within the trees
We’re so used to the noise that silence scares us
I get anxious when the silence confronts me
I am afraid to not hear a sound around me
Make some noise to make him go away
Can you Hear the Silence
I yearn for the silence be near me
I run from the noise that’s around me
...
I yearn for the silence to hear me
I run from the noise that assaults me
I breathe but my breath can’t hear me
I live for the silence that lives within the trees
We’re so used to the noise that silence scares us
I get anxious when the silence confronts me
I am afraid to not hear a sound around me
Make some noise to make him go away
Can you Hear the Silence
I yearn for the silence be near me
I run from the noise that’s around me
...
#emotions
#silence
#spiritual #strength
#spiritual #strength
79 reads
2 Comments
Loving Me (Song Collaboration With Jilted Johnny)
It played out
In plain view
For all to see
The way you
Love me is
A wonderful thing
You claim it
Happened even
Before we met
You knew you
Loved me
And always did
I was surprised
To hear that you
Have already made
Plans for us
I felt for you
An immediate trust
The bottom line
Is simple and sweet
I love your
Loving me
a r d e n t l y
In plain view
For all to see
The way you
Love me is
A wonderful thing
You claim it
Happened even
Before we met
You knew you
Loved me
And always did
I was surprised
To hear that you
Have already made
Plans for us
I felt for you
An immediate trust
The bottom line
Is simple and sweet
I love your
Loving me
a r d e n t l y
#love
#FallingInLove
915 reads
19 Comments
Returning on a jet plane...
(Paul Harvey used to give "...the rest of the story" on the radio. The same radio played songs that gave us a glimpse into song character's lives but are never revisited! Even worse when the singer dies! I hated that! One of the songs I always felt needed an ending was...John Denver's: "Leaving on a jet plane." So, I present...Returning on a jet plane. Dedicated to the late John Denver.
--‐------------------
Packed my bags again...
I'm finally coming home...
I sang the songs they wanted...
'til...I felt so all alone...
...
--‐------------------
Packed my bags again...
I'm finally coming home...
I sang the songs they wanted...
'til...I felt so all alone...
...
#emotions
#love
#TimeHeals
100 reads
6 Comments
Rewriting My Story (revised)
Mmmm, mmmm
I’m leaving my past and what became of me
I’m chasing the light and what’s calling me
Watch me
Mmmm
I’m turning the page and rewriting my story
Mmmm
A new dawn breaks, my skies are clear
I’m wiping my tears with my fear
Step by step I’m moving on
Old days fade I’m moving on
Mmmm, mmmm
I’m turning the page and rewriting my story
I’m breaking chains, there’s no more ties to pain
Every choice, every stride
No more living in shadows, no more reason to hide
Spreading...
I’m leaving my past and what became of me
I’m chasing the light and what’s calling me
Watch me
Mmmm
I’m turning the page and rewriting my story
Mmmm
A new dawn breaks, my skies are clear
I’m wiping my tears with my fear
Step by step I’m moving on
Old days fade I’m moving on
Mmmm, mmmm
I’m turning the page and rewriting my story
I’m breaking chains, there’s no more ties to pain
Every choice, every stride
No more living in shadows, no more reason to hide
Spreading...
#hope
#lyrics
#TimeHeals
126 reads
4 Comments
Sketch lines
I know we are young
I know we have no idea where we’ll end up
We’re just finding our way
We won’t stay the same
and I don’t want to
neither do you
I am hiding in the minutes, the seconds
that I get to kiss you
Some day will come, when we break up
and I have to miss you
Cause we’ll fight, come undone
Too many bullets in our guns
To stay safe
To stay this way
We are just sketching out the lines
Too much still undefined
So hold me tighter
Than you’ve ever done before
Let’s come closer ...
I know we have no idea where we’ll end up
We’re just finding our way
We won’t stay the same
and I don’t want to
neither do you
I am hiding in the minutes, the seconds
that I get to kiss you
Some day will come, when we break up
and I have to miss you
Cause we’ll fight, come undone
Too many bullets in our guns
To stay safe
To stay this way
We are just sketching out the lines
Too much still undefined
So hold me tighter
Than you’ve ever done before
Let’s come closer ...
#anxiety
#FirstLove
#love
#relationships
#teens
73 reads
1 Comment
End It Stupid Bitch

#abuse
#anger
#deception
#lust
#rejection
54 reads
2 Comments
Buffalo NY Sunday (Parody)
Buffalo NY Sunday
Pleasant Valley Sunday (Parody)
----------------------‐
The kid who raps is down the street
...someone just kicked his ass!
He sang of doing bitches to a...
lady dressed up for mass!
Another Buffalo NY Sunday...
empty houses burning everywhere...
so many burkas that are all the same...
...a ghetto in such disrepair.
Mohammed's wife's a tween -
she's years away from legal vote..
Abdul has just been charged...
for making love...to his goat!
Another Buffalo NY...
Pleasant Valley Sunday (Parody)
----------------------‐
The kid who raps is down the street
...someone just kicked his ass!
He sang of doing bitches to a...
lady dressed up for mass!
Another Buffalo NY Sunday...
empty houses burning everywhere...
so many burkas that are all the same...
...a ghetto in such disrepair.
Mohammed's wife's a tween -
she's years away from legal vote..
Abdul has just been charged...
for making love...to his goat!
Another Buffalo NY...
#city
#drugs
#lyrics
64 reads
2 Comments
Little Gem
INSIDE ROARE
Little Gem
When you feel happy,
when your heart is a sheet.
Who holds a little gem,
who doesn't want to be alone anymore.
Who would like to hear "only you" again
Who was allowed to kiss your lips,
I thought I couldn't do it.
Your blue eyes like the sky
shine through my heart.
I would like to look into them forever,
Maybe I will find the answer why I don't want to.
A sudden meeting, just the touch of fingers.
I felt it was you.
I would like to scream into the darkness. ...
Little Gem
When you feel happy,
when your heart is a sheet.
Who holds a little gem,
who doesn't want to be alone anymore.
Who would like to hear "only you" again
Who was allowed to kiss your lips,
I thought I couldn't do it.
Your blue eyes like the sky
shine through my heart.
I would like to look into them forever,
Maybe I will find the answer why I don't want to.
A sudden meeting, just the touch of fingers.
I felt it was you.
I would like to scream into the darkness. ...
#emotions
#gratitude
#inspirational
#love
#motivational
100 reads
0 Comments
The Ticking Clock
As I grow older, time passes by
Seems like day after day
I lose another friend I've known
Everyone passes away
But I'm still hanging on
Sometimes I have to ask why?
I can't describe the pain
Or the emptiness I feel inside
Time isn't kind to anyone
So it seems to me
We're all forgotten in the end
Lost to posterity
Whether we rot in the ground
Or go ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Even the strongest metals
Decay and turn to rust
~Chorus~
Where do we go when we pass
There's only one...
Seems like day after day
I lose another friend I've known
Everyone passes away
But I'm still hanging on
Sometimes I have to ask why?
I can't describe the pain
Or the emptiness I feel inside
Time isn't kind to anyone
So it seems to me
We're all forgotten in the end
Lost to posterity
Whether we rot in the ground
Or go ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Even the strongest metals
Decay and turn to rust
~Chorus~
Where do we go when we pass
There's only one...
#death
#LifeCycle
70 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Song Lyrics Poems Seeking Critique