Limerick Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#limerick
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
Rapidly Rapid
There once a bar owner
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
#alcohol
#LifeAsAWriter
#limerick
23 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
Three Months Hard Labour
There is a young bar
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
#funny
#historical
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
25 reads
0 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
29th Sep 2024 8:53pm
29th Sep 2024 8:53pm
Please, rest in PIece
A man had a fight with his wife last evening
he left a paper " wake me up at seven morning "
when he woke up too late
he found a written note:
" wake up, it is seven in the morning"
******
Gagarine flew into outer space
too much higher that he left no trace
"hey there ! you are trespassing"
yelled Satan at Gagarine
can' i burn peacefully, in god's grace ? !!!
******
There once lived a man named NimeSiss
whose evil, by large...
he left a paper " wake me up at seven morning "
when he woke up too late
he found a written note:
" wake up, it is seven in the morning"
******
Gagarine flew into outer space
too much higher that he left no trace
"hey there ! you are trespassing"
yelled Satan at Gagarine
can' i burn peacefully, in god's grace ? !!!
******
There once lived a man named NimeSiss
whose evil, by large...
#funny
#limerick
66 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Aug 2024 4:50pm
8th Aug 2024 4:50pm
Screwed! (limerick)
There was a young dude
from Bude
Who was terribly terribly
rude
He bought a cheap
screwdriver
For the cost of a
Lady Godiva
Yet still he remained
unscrewed
by Jemia
from Bude
Who was terribly terribly
rude
He bought a cheap
screwdriver
For the cost of a
Lady Godiva
Yet still he remained
unscrewed
by Jemia
#funny
#limerick
#satirical
54 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:34am
16th Apr 2024 00:34am
The Seagull Connoisseur
There once was a seagull
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
68 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
Bamoon!
There once was an old man
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
83 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
83 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Jan 2024 4:31pm
3rd Jan 2024 4:31pm
In A Pickle
There once was a man Mcfuddle
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
113 reads
1 Comment
Rew
Poem Published
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
105 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
#limerick
#porn
#dirty
360 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
127 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jul 2023 00:22am
20th Jul 2023 00:22am
Something Surely Afoot?
There once was an Abominable Snowman from Brighton
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#mythology #surreal
#mythology #surreal
108 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Limerick Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
